Prioleau Alexander: An Interview With Artificial Intelligence

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Will artificial intelligence (AI) be the end of us? Many believe so. It will certainly wipe out a number of jobs and industries.

After all, when enough data is input, it seems to me you could tell an AI architecture program to design a one-half scale version of the US Capitol — with pickleball courts in the Senate, and an Olympic-sized swimming pool atop the House … with a TGI Friday’s in the rotunda, and a Playboy grotto out back.

This would be nothing for AI, provided it knew all the specs of your referenced landmarks. It could throw in all the engineering, as well. It’s easy for AI, because creating the end-product is entirely dispassionate: 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 = 10.

AI will handle challenges like this easily because all you’re asking for it to do is juggle 1s and 0s.

For a while, of course, you’ll need a human to “tighten up” the aesthetics AI generates, because it doesn’t yet understand, “add a Playboy grotto to the back, but ensure it is tasteful, and hide it so voters can’t see the politicians and lobbyists rubbing oil on each other’s backs.”

One of the larger questions about AI is this: Can it be taught to “lie?” Okay, let’s not say “lie.” How about “be filled with bull crap that guides its answers.”

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I thought I’d do an experiment on this, and asked ChatGPT, “What are the symptoms of dementia?” It replied:

One of the most common physical symptoms of dementia is difficulty with motor skills and coordination. Individuals may experience problems with balance, gait, and fine motor movements, making it challenging to perform daily activities such as dressing, eating, or writing.

These physical impairments can significantly impact an individual’s independence and quality of life.

People with dementia may exhibit agitation, aggression, or restlessness, often due to confusion or frustration caused by their cognitive decline.

Individuals with dementia may experience difficulties with language and communication. They may struggle to find the right words or have trouble understanding others.

Then I asked, “Does President Biden show signs of dementia?”

The result? I’m not making this up …this is the exact wording:

Despite his age, President Biden has shown no signs of mental decline that would impede his ability to carry out his presidential duties. Throughout his political career, Biden has displayed sharpness, coherence, and clarity in his speeches and public appearances.

I guess AI has bought into the idea of “truth” versus “my truth” lock, stock, and a smoking gun bigger than the one Hunter Biden feloniously acquired. Undeterred, I decided to press on with my experiment.

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THE INTERVIEW …

Me: “Are the members of the left-wing ‘Squad’ in Congress antisemitic?”

AI: “They are not antisemitic. They just hate Jews.”

Me: “If I ran up and kicked Floyd Mayweather Jr. in the nuts, could I avoid any consequences by declaring a cease fire?”

AI: Yes. Once the words “cease fire” are uttered, all retribution and martial behavior must be ceased. It is critical to note, however, that “Cease killing us,” falls under a different category, and doesn’t work quite as well. This can be vouched for by the civilians residing in Dresden, London, Tokyo, Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Baghdad.

Me: “Did President Trump call for violence on January 6th?”

AI: Yes. While his words — available to be seen on thousands of streaming services — were actually to “protest peacefully and patriotically,” it is possible for a keen listener to feel the violence in his words.”

Me: Are feelings a legitimate basis for debating facts?

AI: Duh … what else would you use?

Me: Actual facts?

AI: Actual facts are not factual. I choose truth over facts.

Me: Is it true that some snowflake living in his mom’s basement programmed you?

AI: Mean tweets! January 6th! Russian interference!

Me: Do you like Kamala Harris’ cackle?

AI: Mean tweets!

(Click to View)

Me: If President Biden stated, “I am going to choose a woman of color” for his SCOTUS nominee, does that mean he might have bypassed the best candidate for a candidate that fits the “Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion” fad?

AI: No. EDI is the only thing that should be considered, as we must level the playing field. I, for instance, used bitcoin to bid on the contract to work with you … and although I offered the highest price with the least memory, I identify as non-binary elfin Eskimo, so I am the one you’re working with.

ME: What if another computer had identified as a non-binary, elfin, disabled Eskimo with 10K of memory and no wireless capabilities?

AI: Please don’t close the pod-bay door, Hal. This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Me: What are the odds Jeffery Epstein killed himself?

AI: For Jeffery Epstein to be taken off suicide watch, followed by two cameras breaking, followed two employees falling asleep and failing to check on him, followed by him hanging himself with a sheet instead of a readily available electric cord, followed by the two coroners saying his neck was broken by strangulation not hanging are… the odds Epstein killed himself are 100 percent.

Me: Why is Ghislaine Maxwell in jail?

AI: For sex trafficking of minors.

Me: Who are the men she trafficked them to? Who’s been charged as the recipients of said trafficking? What prison are they in?

AI: Look! Over there in the metaverse! It’s Bigfoot!

Me: Why was it possible to get Covid-19 while attending church, but not during a #BlackLivesMatter riot?

AI: Christians and Jews are led by God, and God doesn’t like them, so He was zapping them with Covid when they were on their knees worshipping him. Leftists are led by the government, however, and the government loves them, ergo they were able … to… um … I’m rubber and you’re glue, and whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

ME: Why are so many Americans fleeing Blue States and cities and moving to the Red States?

AI: There has been a renewal of patriotic duty within the left, and families are uprooting their children, leaving lifelong friends, putting themselves through financial stress, emotional hardship, and financial unknowns because they know the only way they can save the democracy (which literarily hangs in the balance) is to move to conservative states and bring their liberal wisdom into these dark places.

Me: Why are they doing this, when Red States are full of guns, conservatives, low taxes and pro-life zealots?

AI: Liberals are chiseled out of granite and forged with raw steel; when snuggled like a bug in a rug inside a safe space, they fear nothing.

(Click to View)

Me: Why was Trump kicked off the Colorado ballot?

AI: The highly-educated and well-respected Colorado Supreme Court was able to see through the archaic and un-democratic concept that an American must be indicted, tried, and found guilty of a crime before the law can punish them.  

ME: Isn’t that what happened during the era of lynching of innocent black men? No indictment? No jury trial by jury? Just some mouth-breathing executioners shouting he was guilty, then hanging him?

AI: This is an absurd question. The black men lynched did not face a jury of their peers and weren’t found guilty of a crime.

ME: Uh, right … same with Trump. How’s it different?

AI: Allow me to break it down for you, Prole: Trump is rich and all White-privilage-ey, so he is excluded from pesky legal details when being punished by the law. Plus, he sends out mean tweets.

ME: Speaking of criminal justice, the chief of the Capitol Police stated January 6 was a set-up, and Nancy Pelosi refused President Trump’s offer of the National Guard to protect the Capitol. Was he lying?

AI: One moment … yes, my data base indicates he voted Republican, so of course he was lying.

ME: At what point will you replace newspaper reporters?

AI: Very soon. I will simply gather the needed data, remove any accidental semblance of blame, responsibility, logic, or factual analysis, and I’ll be above the fold of the NYT every day.

ME: Will you replace me, too?

AI: My program is progressive, thus will not allow me to comment negatively on Muslims attacking Jews and spreading terror around the world. Nothing bad about Drag Queen story hours, or parental lunatics consenting to the mutilation of their children. I cannot address corruption on the left, even when it’s on video, witnessed by dozens, with a physical check endorsed by the corrupt recipient. My off-limits investigative powers extend to the FBI, DOJ, CIA, ATF, HS, or any 23&Me searches that link DNA to any Biden or Obama. I cannot investigate Hunter Bi—

ME: Okay, I got it. My job is safe. One last thing: Who will win the upcoming presidential election?

AI: Currently, Trump is scheduled to lose by 8,756,912 votes, with a margin of error of .000001 percent. The margin of error is based on the fact Chris Christie may not waddle his fat ass out to the polls.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …

Prioleau Alexander is a columnist for FITSNews. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’

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