IN MYRTLE BEACH, SOUTH CAROLINA …
What happens when you mix a 21-year-old carpenter, the “champagne of beers,” a public park in the “Redneck Riviera,” and a Scooby Dooby Doo van?
Answer: One of the most original indecent exposure incidents of all-time.
Courtesy of The Smoking Gun comes the story of 21-year-old Justin Keneston – who was busted exposing himself at Myrtle Beach, S.C.’s Plyler Park this week.
Keneston “smelled of booze and was slurring his speech” when officers discovered him at the park – sipping from a can of Budweiser.
His eyes were described as “blood shot” and “glassy.”
As a result of that Keneston received a “public drunk,” but his real issue is the felony indecent exposure charge he’s facing as a result of his alleged intoxication.
According to the police report, Keneston “jumped onto a Scooby Doo van that was in the middle of the park” and “proceeded to pull down his pants and expose his rear end.”
“There were many children around the park who saw the offender do this,” the report added, quoting a witness to the event.
Zoinks! (RIP, Casey Kasem).
No word yet on how this incident will impact Myrtle Beach’s, um, “plummeting” crime rate, but we’re sure it’s nothing a fresh influx of taxpayer-funded tourism marketing can’t solve.
59 comments
Stop hacking my account Boz!!
Oh lighten up. Go get yourself a nice Cafe Con Leche, watch the hottie Cubanitas walk by, maybe enjoy a nice flan.
Calling the FAA right now to deport your moocher illegeal mother.Then sue you and pervert Boz for hacking my accounts.
LOL
You and/or your butt-buddy GT posting that bullshit about me being Rackistan (or however you spell it) and a bunch of other SNs on here, and telling us you know that by my ISP, etc., and YOU”RE gonna go accusing me of being a hacker.
It’s about the millionth time you’ve pulling this crap of whining about hacking, between The SNOB and this blog. Is there any wonder nobody REAL on here — left, right, middle, or whatever — likes you even the least little bit?
I’m not hacking your account. There’s no fun in that. See any hot Chichita’s down there?
Wow!!!! Look at them Velma’s. That’s a Velma-licious Scooby snack. When that van is a rockin’ don’t be a knockin’ – Next up, Gilligan’s new Mary Ann.
Velma needs to lay off the scooby snacks.
Ah, too picky. Flip ’em over.
Nice curves. Rabelaisian beauty. Skinny Velma after she laid off the crack.
I’d put her in my show, for sure.
Seriously, I don’t know her name, but I like her a lot. Apparently, “Mystery Machine” operates in Wilmington, North Myrtle Beach, Myrtle Beach, and Winston-Salem. I think my step-son, from W-S but currently living in Philly, knows them.
I mean absolutely no disrespect in my comments about their “Velma.” I am sincerely an admirer.
My caffeine just kicked in ,,,,
———————————–
A concerned young lady complains
to her gynecologist, “Whenever I take off my clothes my nipples get real hard,
and so sensitive they’re almost painful.”
“That’s a little unusual,” he said. “Get undressed and I’ll check you out.”
The doctor began to examine her breasts and nipples. After a considerable time touching and observing, the doctor still looked puzzled.
“Well, I don’t know what you have,” he finally said, “but it’s contagious!”
Woman goes to her doctor and tells him she is having trouble getting a date, no guys will show any interest, won’t talk to her, etc. Doc checks her out for unusual odors, etc., finds nothing wrong so tells her she needs to go see a Chinese doctor, Dr. Wong, who has some expertise in these issues.
She makes an appointment, goes to see him. In the exam room he looks her over and tells her to take off all her clothes. She protests a bit but he says “You come-a see doctah Wong you mussa do what doctah say!” So she shucks her clothes, he tells her to turn around a coupla times while he stands back and looks intently at her.
Then he tells her to turn around facing away and bend over and touch her toes, she protests again, he says, “Doctah Wong never long, you mussa do what I say!” So she bends over, touches her toes, and the doc says, “Ahhh, see yaw plobrem now!”
Very concerned, she asks, “What is it doctor? Is it serious?”
Doc says, “”Ahh, yes, velly selious, you have Zachary’s disease!”
Woman exclaims, “OH MY! Zachary’s disease, what is that?”
Doc says, “Zachary disease is where you face rook zachary rike yo butt!”
Yikes — another great one..!! Saving to my collection —- thanks! (FYI – I was eating mashed potatoes when I read this….)
I agree. With that body she’s the perfect candidate for face sitting. I love to be humiliated.
Hopefully she eats corn.
I concur. She reminds me of my first “mistress” back in the late 70’s. She is on the same “voluptousness” scale as Molly was. I would have gladly shaved so she might have a clean place to sit, any day of the week.
Dude, that is skinny in SC. Like, almost anorexic .
actually ive seen more skinnys around the lowcountry unless there from ohio they seem to be heffers. the fattys seem to abound around the midlands and upstate particularly pickens tech
If I was in the van with her, in the red top, chances are my pants would be down shortly, too.
You hop in vans and drop your pants for strangers?
What do you usually charge?
No charge, and only if they look like chick and have OEM female parts.
He only uses the van for children.
?
When did you say Mrs. Rocky is returning home?
——————–
A woman had enormous breasts and each time she met a man, she’d heave her bosom. He’d heave it back! Ashamed of her gigantic bosom, the woman went to Halmar the Faith Healer. He studied her for a while and said that faith could move mountains. She paid him a large sum of money and he started to pray. For hours he prayed, and, lo and behold, her bosom grew smaller. Her breasts became beautiful, but now she has two giant lumps on her ass!
Mrs. Rocky just called me – she’s sending me $ 100 to stake out your house — My ears still ring from her last comment: “WHO THE HELL IS VELMA?”
———————-
Two Jewish businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life. “I get up late in the morning. I have a fantastic breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda and relax. I go inside for lunch, have great salads, the best coffee, and I go out and lie on my veranda again. When it gets dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Havana cigar. Then I go out and lie on my veranda again.”
The other Jewish gentlemen acknowledged that this was a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, “What’s his wife’s name?”
Her husband said, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s Veranda!”
Just $100? Christ I’m getting old.
No, could be that you were caught in a temporary fluctuation of your value to the Mistress of the House……
Perv-alert…Liberals are the most hard-up, leches…and it’s obvious no one wants to cavort with you (other than will-do-anybody homosexuals) …because you’re always begging…And if you were any good, you’d be much more secure.
Very creepy…
Lighten up Francis.
HAH! You have accurately read his beads, for sure.
Don’t call Felicia on him about anything though. He’d enjoy prison a bit TOO much, and might spread something incurable among the “unfortunately incarcerated” population.
Not nearly as creepy as all your feces, rectal, and penis references.
Scooby’s reaction: Is that you, Shaggy?
Ready to take on all the slings and arrows that this will surely have hefted my way…
I’ve always wanted to buy a 1966 Chevy G-10 van and paint it up like the Mystery Machine to cruise around in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TvoHFZ4PX4
I’m in. I can navigate.
I’d do the G-10 or a mid sixties VW Safari: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/332351647477500646/
Good, because I flunked map reading in the Boy Scouts.
OK we shouldn’t make fun of wives getting lost. One time my wife came back from a trip, landed at the airport. It was late, so we’ll give her that. I was home sick. She called, “Honey I’m back, I’m heading to the car.” Great!!! About an hour later I call her, “Where are you, I have a fever, I feel like crap. When are you going to get here.” Answer – “I’m not sure, I might have gone the wrong way, I’m in Bowman.” We lived near Folly at the time.
My wife (who was for a short while also an Army Officer) gives directions better than most of the men I know but she refuses to call the back of the shopping cart the back, insisting that the handle part is the “front” of the cart.
I grew up in NJ. You ask five people in NJ directions to the same spot, you’ll get 10 sets of directions. And at least two will include the Palisades Parkway, and one will include the LIncoln Tunnel for no particular reason.
I can beat that. My husband’s uncle was flying in from Florida for a family event. He landed, picked up his rental car & called for directions to our house from GSP. An hour later he called completely confused. Turns out he had flown to Greenville, NORTH CAROLINA.
after your daily backshave rocky ……. after
Those things are for hippies.Here’s a real ride
http://carswithmuscles.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/1969Impala_2.jpg
I’ve already had one of those, a 1969 Impala SS. I had a high and tight since 1983 I’d like to be a hippie for a little while.
Drove a ’69 impala SS with a 427 in it when I was a teenager. Burned a lot of tires off of it.
Sport coupe with the L31 motor. I got a job at JC Penny to get money to buy gas and tires and get a discount on said tires. I wish I had that car now. It was my mothers until I started driving and in great shape (at least when I got it). She got a “folded window” 77 Caprice with Z-28 wheels and a 350 she though was anemic compared to her Impala – my dad had it hopped up for her…
Miller High Life is the Champagne of Beers, not Budweiser.
Bud is “the King of Beers”
Miller High Life is “The Champagne of bottled beers”
FITS staff are obviously elitist, eastern establishment high dollar likka drinkin types.
Miller “Ponies” were the “highlight” of many of my “redneck champagne” drinking adventures…
Educated drunk types drink icehouse edge. The rest is a headache.
4 loko for the upper echelon.
Tried it, it’s too much for me. What a buzz !
Don’t Liberal-Tarians declare his right to perv-out to be protected, by your lord-god-Obama?…and your courts-full of leftwing degenerates…???
You are one selectively prudish son of a bitch…to claim to be an “ANYTHING GOES”…liberal when it suits you…
I’m surprised the cops didn’t just shoot him point blank and kill him. It seems to be what passes for law enforcement in S.C. nowadays.
Limbaugh is a whiny bitch
Well atleast we know how badly you’ve been suckered by the media and the grievance industry to believe that EVERY incident involves cops acting out the Wild Wild West.
Mooning people is a felony? Give me a break.
Your tax dollars at work. The children have been traumatized by the Shaggy look alike showing everyone his ass.
those are some nice funbags
overall an attractive package —
Zoinks!