We’ve read some funny stuff on the internet but our founding editor’s wife, the talented lovely Mrs. Sic Willie, always seems to find the choicest online laughs.
Take the “Sad Cat Diary,” for example. Friggin’ hilarious! This week, Mrs. Sic shared a funny Amazon.com review for a five-pound bag of sugarless Haribo gummy bears. The cost? Not counting shipping, $19.99.
Everybody loves Gummy Bears, right? Right?
Apparently not. The very first “customer review” for this product was, well … uncomplimentary.
“Not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose,” the reviewer recalls. “I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.”
It gets better … errr, well … worse.
“Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn’t stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.”
And worse …
“I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.”
Wow …
Stay away from the gummies, people …
22 comments
I am in tears! He had to have eaten way more than he said for that to happen
I am in tears! He had to have eaten way more than he said for that to happen
Good stuff. Funny Amazon reviews are fun gems to run into, and Amazon appears to be aware of it:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&docId=1001250201
“What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone?”
Mrs Toledo
Priceless. Funny X 10 !
Good stuff. Funny Amazon reviews are fun gems to run into, and Amazon appears to be aware of it:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&docId=1001250201
“What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone?”
Mrs Toledo
Priceless. Funny X 10 !
Don’t Be a Judge at a Chili Cooking Contest.
Don’t Be a Judge at a Chili Cooking Contest.
“Not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose”
Perhaps she ate some of those recycled colored condoms by mistake….
“Not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose”
Perhaps she ate some of those recycled colored condoms by mistake….
Racquetball may still have a penalty for an “odor foul” —-
Racquetball may still have a penalty for an “odor foul” —-
Beware of buying anything that says “sugar free” You have no idea what they would put in food to make them taste acceptable temporarily. I’ve heard of people having such strong reactions to sugar-free food.
Beware of buying anything that says “sugar free” You have no idea what they would put in food to make them taste acceptable temporarily. I’ve heard of people having such strong reactions to sugar-free food.
Funny review but not true. Been years since I heard “Heavens to Murgatroyd”, I think my mom used it back in 1996.
There was a cartoon character who used that phrase back in the early 60’s. Was it “Snagglepuss” or something like that?
I had to consult Wikipedia, but it turns out you are correct.
http://youtu.be/udVCwQzRl2I?t=1m31s
Funny review but not true. Been years since I heard “Heavens to Murgatroyd”, I think my mom used it back in 1996.
There was a cartoon character who used that phrase back in the early 60’s. Was it “Snagglepuss” or something like that?
I had to consult Wikipedia, but it turns out you are correct.
http://youtu.be/udVCwQzRl2I?t=1m31s
This was great!!!! Laughed till I cried, then shit myself.
This was great!!!! Laughed till I cried, then shit myself.