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Assuming it doesn’t become clear by the time you finish reading this article, the University of South Carolina is not regarded as one of the nation’s top public universities. According to the latest U.S. News & World Report rankings, the school is tied for No. 124 nationally (and No. 64 among public institutions). Both of these anemic rankings are down precipitously from the previous year (and the previous decade)… yet state government spending and taxpayer-backed guarantees for soaring tuition costs have both skyrocketed.
South Carolina’s main campus – located in the state capital of Columbia – is spending a staggering $1.45 billion in the current fiscal year budget, including $243.6 million in general fund dollars. This massive investment is set to climb even higher in the budget being prepared for the coming fiscal year by liberal members of the S.C. General Assembly.
Should government be subsidizing higher education in any amount? In any form or fashion? No. As I have argued for years, higher education is simply not a core function of government.
Yet while core functions go neglected, South Carolina’s “Republican” supermajority has kept the spigot flowing for its so-called “flagship” institution. While draining more money from Palmetto State taxpayers, USC (UofSC? The USC?) has become ground zero for woke ideology – the ongoing, escalating indoctrination of future generations by the far left. It has also become a key cog in any number of failed crony capitalist “economic development” schemes pushed by state legislative leaders – not to mention a soft landing spot for liberal politicians like former Democratic minority leader James Smith.
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According to the school’s website, it offers “more than 350 degree options — more than any other school in the state.”
“Find a major that fits your strengths and, more importantly, what you enjoy doing,” it added.
Hmmmm … “what you enjoy doing,” eh?
There is one particular thing people “enjoy doing” – and I mean really enjoy doing – that has apparently become a focus of scientific instruction at South Carolina.
What am I referring to? Squirting …
Yes, you read that right … squirting, which for those of you uninitiated is an especially robust yet (for some) infuriatingly elusive version of the female orgasm. A female ejaculation, if you will.
According to a notification on its “Changing Carolina Peer Leaders” page, the school hosted a two-hour event earlier this week (Monday, February 26, 2024) entitled “Squirting Into Spring Break.” The purpose of this gathering? To discuss “the science behind squirting” and to “help normalize a common biological function that holds a lot of stigma.”
Take a look …
(Click to View)
Since we’re talking about “science” … what, scientifically speaking, is squirting? Well, WebMD defines this function as the expulsion of fluid “from the vagina during orgasm.”
Seems simple enough, right?
Well …
“Not all people with vaginas squirt during orgasm, and those who do may only do it some of the time,” the website continued, assiduously avoiding the use of any feminine pronouns. “This type of orgasm includes a rapid ejection of urine, along with other fluids, from the bladder.”
Still, though … a female ejaculation, right? The University of South Carolina is basically trying to teach its students about female ejaculation, right?
If only it were that simple. While WebMD correctly identified one of the sources of squirting as mucus-laden secretions from the Skene’s glands – two ducts positioned on either side of the female urethra – it nonetheless implied that referring to squirting as “female ejaculation” was discriminatory.
“This term excludes non-binary and trans people who are not female but have vaginas,” it noted.
Seriously?
Anyway … no word yet on whether South Carolina, which is all aboard the woke bandwagon, made arrangements to provide safe spaces to accommodate those students who identify as having Skene’s glands (but don’t actually have them) in its squirting class. Certainly, we will hear from the alphabet pronoun Nazis if they didn’t …
(Click to View)
Bigger picture: Why is this sort of content being offered at all? Isn’t this the sort of thing people figure out (or don’t) in the privacy of their dorm rooms? Or on one of hundreds of available websites?
Since when did it become the job of South Carolina taxpayers to help the 95 percent of college males (100 percent of whom are fully aware of how to have their own orgasm) learn to induce a female orgasm? Or to make female orgasms more … potent?
Seriously … has science even located the clitoris?
All kidding aside, it comes down to this: If these schools would just stop woke indoctrinating all of these confused kids – trying to convince them they belong to different genders (or that genders don’t exist) – then maybe people would know how to cum.
Again, I am not unsympathetic to people who are legitimately confused about the column they were born into – and as a libertarian I will always fight for individual liberty and refer to people in my coverage according to their wishes. But that doesn’t mean I have to like those choices, respect those choices or pretend those choices aren’t contributing to the destruction of our society and the alarming surge of mental illness in minors.
Nor does it mean I have to pay for those choices … or the indoctrination encouraging them.
“People should be free to make choices about who they want to be – even if those choices are in a constant state of flux,” I wrote back in the fall of 2018. “It is not up to us to judge – and it certainly isn’t up to government to judge. In fact, government is bound by the Fourteenth Amendment to provide equal protection to all of its citizens. That includes men, women and … well … whatever.”
I still believe that. But equal protection does not mean compulsory acceptance. Nor should liberty create an obligation for special treatment. Also, limits to this “gender identity freedom” are becoming increasingly clear – especially when the expression of these freedoms infringes upon a greater liberty.
Or when you start appropriating unto yourself glands and secretions you don’t have … and then wonder why you can’t get them to achieve the result you desire.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …
Will Folks is the founding editor of the news outlet you are currently reading. Prior to founding FITSNews, he served as press secretary to the governor of South Carolina and before that he was a bass guitarist and dive bar bouncer. He lives in the Midlands region of the state with his wife and seven (soon to be eight) children.
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16 comments
My wife does NOT have this problem, I assure you.
I know she doesn’t!
She ruined my antique Turkish prayer rug.
I would have found this infinitely more useful in my younger days than the algebra and chemistry that was forced on me by middle and high school teachers. Despite what the algebra teachers regularly told us, I did not use it every day of my life. Despite having had between ninety and a hundred women as bed partners in my lifetime, some of whom were screamers (pleasure, not pain), I never had one who was a squirter. Friends told me of encountering the very rare woman who did this, but sadly, I never did. I had one algebra teacher with incredibly shapely legs and butt, who made me sit on the front row because I did not pay attention very well in class. On the front row, I paid attention, but not to algebra. I was focused on her but, legs, and the weave pattern of her panty hose. Too bad she taught algebra instead of this, something I could have actually used, fifty years ago.
Get a life weirdo.
I can guarantee you that for those two hours you’re going to see a room full of guys who sit in their dorm room jerking off to porn and girls who you would puke if you even thought of them naked. Don’t expect a room full of sorority girls who are going to run back to the house to practice on each other.
The useless, corrupt, brain dead politicians allow this to happen. USC should be shut down immediately as the damn board of trustees
Have been recognized for their lack of leadership.
So sorry that I went to USC.
.
Chill Will! It’s a workshop taught by some nobody crackpot. It was set up under the auspices of the Student Health Center by a student committee under Student Health and Well Being (AKA – the Student Health Center).
When I was a student at the coop, I was given extra credit by my Human Sexuality professor for attending a similar workshop on male and female “chicken choking and canoe paddling” (taught oddly by a militant, closeted, lesbian). I really only went to check out the chicks, I was already an expert on the subject… For the record, the class was a humanities elective.
“Why is this sort of content being offered at all?” Simple, a lot of it is program by stupid college students themselves who think this kind of stupidity makes them look erudite and sophisticated. In my day we had “Preacher Jim” who schooled us on the dangers of “…herpes simplex #2…” daily at the Russell House (man how I miss the Golden Spur!)
I’m a lot more concerned with the socialist rhetoric and failed educational theory being spewed over in Wardlaw by the College of Education. Want to ponder the “stupid subjects”, consider a university (not a liberal arts college but a research university) offering degrees in subjects like dance, comparative literature and women’s and gender studies.
Wanna be a comparative literature expert? Go to the library and check out a book, read it, take notes. Then, go back to the library and check out another book, read it – you get the drift. Then compare you notes – voila you’re studying comparative literature and not spending $120,000 for a USELESS degree. Nobody give a flying duck about Dostoevsky’s thoughts on the human condition – remember he was writing fiction and for the record was a socialist, misogynist, racist, philanderer – if he wasn’t a socialist, liberals would despise him!
Wann learn dance? Go to the club – or maybe go to Julliard.
Wanna be unemployed? Get a degree in gender studies? Well, wait, my niece has a psychology/gender studies degree, she works at Starbucks.
I am a member of a small but growing group of campus subversives who think USC (in fact all of our state universities) should be a STEM only university with just enough liberal claptrap being taught to satisfy SACS.
Oh and Pappy’s – I really miss Pappy’s. Met my wife of 33 years there!
I bet she’s a squirter.
Probably just a puff of dust now and again these days.
That dust could come in handy if there was no corn starch or talcum powder around.
:-D
Where’s Fits’ coverage on HR 5118? You’ve been all over utility issues in the past but I guess they’re more interested in clickbait.
And you wonder why America’s military has recruiting issues. Who wants to risk their life for YOU freakin’ debased amoral sexually-obsessed perverts.
Can you think of anyone better to risk, or give, your life for?
The year is 2026.
Mandatory squirting classes have taken over America.
Chairman Biden has signed a law mandating a minimum of ten towels be within one meter of every bed in America.
Men live under the constant tyranny of not just rolling over and falling asleep after they are personally satisfied.
Russia and China celebrate as western civilization has finally ground to a halt.
God raptures the lone spirit of Alex Jones as He condemns the rest of the lost souls of humanity to the apocalypse.
VERITAS leads a resistance of sexually closeted losers to overthrow the doctrine of the devil’s water fountain.