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There are some professions that demand the ability to melt into the inky blackness of any shadow. The tradecraft required to hide in plain sight. The muscle memory needed to freeze – drop one’s heart rate to thirty beats per minute, and breathe at a level a snow owl could not detect.
Among the creatures whose lives depend on such skills are military snipers. Associates at Big Box stores. A trophy buck, disappearing from the pack of hounds in hot pursuit. A international spy, working his third year undercover, a lifetime from friendly faces.
One slip up … one wrong move … a single glance into the wrong person’s eyes, and all can be lost. Success depends on the devil’s greatest trick: Convincing the world he doesn’t exist.
Yes, there are many who must live by this self-directed lifestyle, but there is one creature that excels above all else. No, it’s not a reef fish, fighting its fate to bait. Nor is it an animal of the African planes. Not even a snitch who’s come clean on the Mob.
The apex creature of this unique ecosystem is the United States Congressman.
Subtracting those in the highest levels of leadership, consider the number of Congressman whose name you know.
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That’s by design — a crafty lifestyle, developed over hundreds of years to ensure their never-ending re-election. The cunning and disciplined life is genius in its simplicity:
Get elected.
Stand for nothing.
Maintain media silence.
Vote the party line.
Provide constituent service.
Quietly grovel for money.
Bank on the proles to vote “name recognition.”
The system is virtually flawless. If a voter has no reason to vote against you, why not vote for you? And therein lies the rub: Never, never, never give a reason for a fellow American to develop an opinion about you, positive or negative. Lie low in the Swamp, and slither about in the middle of the pond … so when crocodiles come to feed, they’ll dine on those daring to leave the middle, and swim near the edge.
Silence. Silence. Silence.
But someone forgot to tell that to Nancy Mace.
Mace hasn’t remained silent, and has instead spoken her opinions to the media. All the time. She’s said the quiet part out loud. Repeatedly. She’s actually revealed what she thinks about issues.
Nancy and I are hardly lockstep in our political beliefs. In fact, she’s expressed opinions I vehemently disagree with.
But every time she voices her opinion — especially on national TV — my response is, “Well, hell yes… at least she’s in the game.”
I usually applaud her stances, as most are conservative. Yes, there are hard-core conservatives who are angry with her for a few positions, but they are like hard-core libertarians … losing elections and putting Democrats in Congress because, “It has to my way down to the tiniest detail, or everything is lost.”
(Click to View)
I know the type, having been an advertising creative director. It’s impossible to count the number of passive-aggressive designers who believe their design is “completely ruined” because I insisted they lose the ALL CAPS, reverse, italics copy.
Rep. Mace has, of course, been attacked by the left-wing media since day one. Why? Because suddenly people actually knew the name Nancy Mace, and attacking a silent swamp denizen sells no papers. Here was a name with an (R) after it. The fact that she erred centrist on some issues wasn’t enough. The fact she made hints she wanted to be a reach-across-the-aisle Republican didn’t matter.
They attacked, because that is what they do. It’s all they do.
I find it funny, because I for one want zero reaching-across-the-aisle Republicans … it always seems to work out in favor of the Democrats. I want conservativism to win, not to compromise. Ergo, it should be me who’s angry … and the legacy media should be pleased that they have someone who might-kinda-sorta at least listen to their perspective, and work for solutions.
But nope. Full frontal assault, every time.
Now, Nancy is being attacked from both sides. From the Left, because she has the audacity to be a conservative woman. And from the operatives in the GOP deep state, no doubt helping to spread rumors and whispers of her treachery.
In short, the Swamp has decided it’s time to try and cancel her. After all, she:
Got elected.
Took a stand for something.
Speaks to the media.
Doesn’t vote the party line.
Dares to be known, both locally and on the national stage.
Who in the hell does she think she is?
A show-off? She hasn’t earned the right for people to know who she is! She needs to be in the Swamp for decades before she speaks to the media!
Instead of using my inner voice, I’ll address the horrific allegations in public.
First, it seems things have gone south with her engagement, and she and her ex-fiancé are allegedly at loggerheads over a pair of properties they own together.
Oh. My. God.
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RELATED | NANCY MACE’S DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
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This has never happened before! No politician has ever broken up with a significant other … no politician has ever had legal issues with an ex before … no Congressmen have ever been involved in real estate deals, much less troublesome ones.
Then — shudder — an unknown staffer has claimed she made references to her sex life in front of other staffers.
She won’t have to worry about this one, however, as women’s organizations all over the nation will no doubt come rushing to her aid. We’ll no doubt hear liberal organizations shouting:
“This is typical! Women have been dealing with this since time began! This is a witch hunt!”
“Misogynists in the press are gloating over the chance to strike back at #MeToo!”
“This is only an issue because the patriarchy is afraid of a strong independent woman!”
“This is just another example of male double standards!”
I jest … I jest … we’ll hear nothing.
If Mace wants to make this all go away, I’d recommend she dye her hair purple, get a neck tattoo, pierce her nose and lips, declare herself non-binary, and dare the media to attack anything to do with her sexuality. Hell, she might wind up as Cosmo’s Woman of the Year.
Rep Mace, remember: The angry little dogs yap and nip, but the caravan rolls on.
Keep up the fight, and this too shall pass.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …
Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is an international advocate for literacy and learning, and shows his commitment to the cause by reminding everyone that books make great gifts. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’
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12 comments
Did she give you a blowie in exchange for this favorable article?
Nancy is rather mannish looking. Drunkle’s fantasies with trans people are what’s this is about.
Good God man, she’s a blithering idiot in any interview I’ve ever seen with her. Just because you have the hots for her doesn’t mean you have to write utter drivel like this! It’s evident at this point that she’s another Graham, willing to jump in front of any camera or microphone she can find and her opinion on any given day fluctuates to whatever she thinks is the most popular, not what she actually believes in. And what she believes in is getting herself out in front of a camera. That and surgical enhancements, obviously.
I think EPA is overcompensating for his string of homoerotic fantasies. Yeehaw.
Of course one idiot would recognize a fellow idiot in the wild.
Nancy is a pathetic clown. I can see why other clowns would approve.
MAGA is the Republican establishment now. That is why she joined the fascist, freedom hating dumpster fire.
Nancy Mace is A.W.E.S.O.M.E! In your face, you South Carolina good ‘ol boys swamp sludge weenies. LOL!
Are you a teenager? From 50 years ago?
It going to be fun watching Nikki and Nancy squirm and and twist in the wind when asked about banning abortion and the Republicans prosecuting women who leave their backwards States to take care of their health and women who have had miscarriages.
The GQP is doomed.
Mace is kinda the Tulsi Gabbard of the Republican party. Both have a certain degree of refreshing intellectual honesty about their respective entrenched party line ideals, albeit sometimes sprinkled with some factual inaccuracies that are often the result of “shooting from the hip” a bit more than they should. Their willingness to stand up and speak out at crucial times is fairly admirable, and in my view overcomes the occasions where they might be speaking out of their depth. Both fairly patriotic. While they don’t agree with probably a third to a quarter of my core conservative values, I look at them both as people worthy of “being in the room” when it comes to discussing the major issues before the country, because I think the major parties need people like that who ask you to consider some alternative views. I think watching a multi-series talk forum with them discussing the various matters “Du jour” would be pretty interesting – heck I might actually pay to see that.
The words “Nancy Mace” and “intellectual” do not belong in the same sentence unless the word “not” is also in it. I agree, however, that she is like Tulsi Gabbard. Both have proved themselves to be total airheads and attention whores.
Nancy is as fake as Trump’s brain and as big a hypocrite. What a stupid article/column. The reader is dumber after trying to read it
Rob, you are the proof of your own comment, “The reader is dumber after trying to read it” (period omitted) . . . I feel so much smarter now!