Prioleau Alexander: ‘Sinister’

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Every now and then I go onto CNN.com to get a read on where the bedwetters stand on the issues. There might be a new sexual perversion in vogue, or news of a racist meter maid, or perhaps another Trump indictment that I’m not getting the true and hard news about.

Honestly, I don’t recommend you do it — you’ll become stupider just by reading the headlines. Fortunately, I’m a professional CNN seer, and can recover with a handle of good scotch.

On my most recent foray into the putrid cesspool of liberal tears, I came across an opinion piece that caught my eye … because it changed my mind about everything. I have an entirely new world-view, because it pointed out the obvious: It is about the “dark and sinister” language being used by outlets that report the news, instead of reading aloud a DNC press release. The first terrifying paragraph begins thusly:

The Biden White House is referred to as the “Biden regime.”

I wonder why … those words are usually applied to dictatorships. You know, those tinpot potentates who control the federales, and sic them on their enemies. The rulers who own the legal system, and use it to imprison anyone who speaks out about them. Who openly make illegal deals with foreign nations to enrich themselves. Who declare they won’t use their executive powers to make laws, because no one does that “unless you’re a dictator,” then do that exact thing within one day of assuming power.  

It also applies to autocrats who’d perform medical experiments on their citizens, under penalty of law. The kind of depots who refuse to take questions from the press. You know, dictators who remain in power even after their brain is no longer functioning.

Federal law enforcement are (sic) referred to as the “Gestapo” and Biden’s “personal police force.”

This is outrageous. To say that, you’d have to reach the point of conducting pre-dawn SWAT raids on octogenarians charged with minor crimes. Order the police to arrest the former president of the nation. Only an actual “Gestapo” would lie to courts, conspire to cover up crimes, act in the best interests of the Dictator’s party, and conduct kangaroo investigations that always come out in favor of Der Führer.

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Charlie Sykes smartly pointed out, “One does not argue, debate or disagree with the gestapo.” Instead, “You go to war with them.”   

Here we respectfully disagree, because no one would go to war against a Dictator’s governmental forces — you’d “need F-16s to do that.”

Institutions such as the Department of Justice are referred to as “the Department of Injustice.”

That’s going too far, dammit. There’s no way our Department of Justice would allow spying on Americans, or refuse to indict criminals when the evidence is literally on the front page of half the nation’s news outlets. Real justice can only be meted out by an organization that applies the law evenly to all men — and that’s ours.

Talk of imprisoning Democratic politicians — and even their families — in acts of revenge is par for the course.

One might think that talking about it is less offensive than actually doing that exact thing, but your eyes and ears deceive you. Besides, that could never happen, because the Department of Justice is all-seeing, and would never allow a politician to be railroaded for, say, deleting 30,000 emails that had already been subpoenaed.

None of this is an exaggeration. It is the reality of what is being broadcast in millions of homes across the country.

Agreed! It’s time for the Biden Not-A-Regime to stifle even more speech. And not just information and insults they disagree with, but down to specific verbs and adjectives they deem to be “dark and sinister.”

Language carries with it serious consequences.

Well, duh! Especially if you misgender someone, call them by their dead name, criticize a vaccine that never worked but instead killed people, or question a dictator’s honesty. Those should be crimes, just like the new hate-crime of saying, “I don’t believe Joe Biden got 10,000,000 more votes than Barrack Obama.”

Each day gives way to evidence that the fact-defying repetition is working. A CNN poll published Thursday found that nearly 70 percent of Republicans and Republican-leaners said they believed Biden’s presidential win was not legitimate, a staggering majority despite there being no evidence of widespread election fraud. 

That shows how stupid Republicans are. I mean, sure, there could’ve been a little fraud — but so little it didn’t matter. You’d have to get caught literally stopping the vote counting in key swing counties like Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Milwaukee, and Atlanta. Wait, it did stop in Atlanta, but that was due to a water main break leaky urinal, so that made sense. Plus, you’d need to mail ballots to millions of people who didn’t request them, then have people collect them, and act as mules to stuff the unsupervised ballot collection stations where the security cameras were broken.

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Arguably, the rhetoric saturating mainstream right-wing media today is more extreme than the hyperbole used in the weeks leading up to the insurrection at the US Capitol. In those weeks, just like now, right-wing media forces set the stage and gathered the tinder for Trump — who was happy to light a match to the gasoline-soaked kindling gathered before him on January 6.

On the money … because when Trump said, “Protest peacefully,” it was code for “rush into the Capitol, unarmed, and use your bare hands to topple the Republic.” Besides, it was Trump’s fault that government provocateurs were intermingled with the crowd, yelling support, the police opened the barriers, and gave a personal tour to a dude wearing horns on his head.

At the very least, the poison pumped into the national discourse has maimed America’s shared sense of democratic principles and contributed to profound polarization, dividing neighbors, friends, and families.

Boom! Nailed it! None of that divide has to do with mutilating children, grooming them for molestation at the library, failing to prosecute anyone with a (D) after their name, riots, looting, arson, murder, Covid-19 tyranny, Big Tech/Government collusion to suppress free speech, spying on Americans, fake DOJ investigations, burning courthouses and police precincts, destroying the military, shooting police, a President unable to speak like a cogent human, cashless bail, 20 million illegal aliens, crime skyrocketing, telling White children “every White person is racist,” children’s animated movies featuring gay teenage romances, and destroying the culture and establishments that made America a global superpower.

Nope, none of that. It was all just FOX and … you know, those conservative radio shows.

But in the wake of Trump’s third arrest, over an attempt to topple American democracy, and ever-intensified rhetoric, let’s hope history does not repeat itself.    

How doooo they do it? On the money every time! Everyone knows Trump did a Vulcan mind-meld with the January 6, 2021 protestors and made them rush the Capitol … and directly tried to topple the Republic by saying the forbidden words, “I think the election was stolen.”

To all my conservative readers … I’m sorry. It just makes too much sense to argue. I’m headed out to register as a Democrat, buy a dress, go to the library, and have an 8-year-old stranger sit on my lap while I sniff his hair. Oh, and I plan to vote 400 times for Biden in 2024.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR ...

Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of two books: ‘You Want Fries With That?’ and ‘Dispatches Along the Way.’ Both are available on Amazon. He hopes to have another title published soon, but that would require his agent actually doing his job, so it may be awhile. Oh, and if you want to see his preferred bio pic? Click here …

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