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While most readers assume my disdain for politicians is aimed solely at Democrats, nothing could be further from the truth. I am an equal opportunity disdainer-er. The truth is, I view Republicans in congress as little more than Democrats with different-but-equally-fake talking points.
I believe we are run by a one-party government, with a system not unlike the one used in professional wrestling: There’s a good guy, and a bad guy, and the crowd goes wild in support of their guy. Regardless of the outcome, both wrestlers get together after the cameras quit rolling to drink 20-year-old scotch, light cigars with $100 bills and laugh at how dumb the audience is.
Consider this tiny smattering of occasions:
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When it was discovered Obama’s IRS was targeting conservative non-profits, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Nancy Pelosi said of Obamacare, “We have to read the bill to see what’s in it,” what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When the GOP finally found itself in position to repeal Obamacare, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Obama killed the Keystone XL pipeline from Canada to the US, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Obama’s illegal and secretive Operation Fast and Furious found American Border agents being murdered by weapons the ATF sold to Mexican drug dealers, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Hillary Clinton used a private server to email top secret documents, then deleted 30,000 of them when she was caught, claiming they were “yoga poses” and Chelsea’s wedding plans … then bleached her server and smashed her cell phones with a hammer, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
(Click to View)
When Obama flew pallets of cash to Iran, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When the VA was discovered to have put veterans on death lists and filed false reports, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Obama used manpower to close iconic sites like the WWII monument during the government shutdown in 2013, what did the Republicans do? Nothing.
When Michael Flynn was crucified over legal discussions with Russian officials, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When the Russia collusion hoax was fully uncovered as a lie, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Comey, McCabe, Strzok, and Page were found to have conspired to lie to Congress and the FISA court about the Russia collusion hoax, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
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RELATED | TRUMP-RUSSIA SCANDAL WAS A WITCH HUNT … NOW WHAT?
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When it was discovered the FBI hid Hunter Biden’s laptop until after the election, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Democrats successfully stopped construction of a funded border wall on the southern border, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When BLM rioters went uncharged, despite video evidence of the crimes, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Trump was found to have classified documents in one place, while Joe Biden had them in three, what did Republicans do after Trump was indicted and Biden was not? Nothing.
When Joe Biden used executive orders to end America’s energy independence, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When un-Constitutional laws began locking down Americans, closing their businesses, and forcing them to be vaccinated, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When numerous members of the DNC openly called for additional BLM violence, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When it became clear president Biden could no longer carry out his duties and began his tradition of wandering around the stage after speaking, entirely unaware of where he was, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
(Click to View)
When Hunter Biden began selling prints of his art — not originals, but prints — for $75,000 … then sold originals for $500,000, what did the Republicans do? Nothing.
When Simon & Schuster paid Hunter millions for a manuscript about his life, which failed to recoup even a fraction of that advance, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When Biden’s military withdrew in chaos from Afghanistan, which resulted in the slaughter of 13 Marines and the abandonment of tens of thousands of Afghani men and women who helped us during the war, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
When the Durham Report uncovered obvious crimes by American intelligence assets during the Russia collusion hoax but no criminal charges and no indictments, what did Republicans do? Nothing.
Now, after a five-year investigation, Hunter Biden has pled guilty to two misdemeanors for tax evasion and illegal possession of a gun. Despite the hiring of 87,000 new IRS agents and demands that gun laws be more restrictive … what will Republicans do? Nothing.
(Click to View)
When the audio recordings of Joe Biden revealing he took bribes from the owners of Bursima, they could very well contain the words, “Yes, I Joe Biden agree to take a bribe from you to give you access to Obama.” What would the Republicans do if that happened? Nothing.
Some may say, “Well, they’re restrained by law, and what actions they can take.”
Really? Then why do Democrats kick their asses around like a meth-fueled trailer-park step-dad? Aren’t they restrained by the same laws? Even when the GOP is in power, they do nothing to stop the Democrats from doing whatever the hell they feel like.
During the Republicans laughable attempt to censure the abhorrent Adam Schiff, Democrats were so unfazed one yelled, “censure all of us!” Schiff said he’d “wear the censure like a badge of honor.” Five Republicans voted “present,” in yet another bullshit “reach across the aisle” scheme. In perhaps the most hilarious remark of the entire goat rodeo, the censure stated Schiff had “dishonored the House.”
Dishonored? Can a porn star be dishonored? Did Jeffrey Dahmer bring dishonor to other serial killers because he ate his victims? The House and Senate are two of the most contemptuous governing bodies in the world, given the sacred duties and brilliant governmental design passed along to them by the Founding Fathers. At least the fake government doing the bidding of some tin-pot dictator doesn’t try to kid themselves or others — they take the graft and live big … but at least they don’t have the unmitigated gall to pretend they’re “honorable.”
I’ve written in the past about the GOP’s love of “losing again and again, but maintaining good manners while doing so.” It’s a brand they embrace, and hide behind their graciousness to explain why they lose. Every. Single. Time.
(Click to View)
President Trump achieved his success by focusing on winning. He didn’t give a crap who opposed him — which many Republicans in his own party did. He didn’t care if he had to be abusive to win a fight. He didn’t care that our “allies” in NATO cried that they had to pay their agreed upon share of NATO defense. He didn’t care what the “international community” thought when he upended trade deals that were screwing America. He didn’t care that liberals boo-hoo-ed about his closing the border.
The arrogant, egotistical, abrasive, offensive, mean-spirited, angry Orange Man did one thing only: He fought to implement policies that would benefit Americans … and he won. And our elected Republicans hated him for it … because he used bad manners to do things like sending a previously anemic economy to the moon.
We conservatives get excited about Jim Jordan “kicking ass,” when in reality he’s accomplishing nothing. We got excited when the most disingenuous bastard on the planet, Lindsay Graham, raised his voice during the Kavanaugh hearings. We’re sure Republicans rising up is “just around the corner.” We’re thrilled every time we hear about Republicans doing something more than nothing.
It’s pathetic.
Sherlock Holmes said, “once you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however the improbable, must be the truth.”
It is impossible that Democrats are that ingenious – or Republicans that feckless and stupid. It’s impossible that Democrats have such a keen acumen regarding the law and how to skirt it, while Republicans are oblivious to such strategy and tactics. It’s impossible that the Republicans — even when in power — can accomplish nothing.
Ergo, what remains must be the truth: The overwhelming number of Republicans are not just sleeping with the enemy … they are the enemy.
If you can, please change my mind. I’d love to believe the men and women elected by GOP voters are grounded in conservative interests and principles. But, before doing so, you first need to eliminate the impossible.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …
Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of two books: ‘You Want Fries With That?’ and ‘Dispatches Along the Way.’ Both are available on Amazon. He hopes to have another title published soon, but that would require his agent actually doing his job, so it may be awhile. Oh, and if you want to see his preferred bio pic? Click here …
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11 comments
Sad but true
I was totally with you until the part where you tried to make Trump sound like a “did-something” President.
When DJT pushed through his bumpstock ban, causing more tangible harm to our 2A rights in his first three years than Obama did in eight, what did the Republicans do? Nothing.
When DJT, rather than drain The Swamp as promised, made almost all major hires, appointments, and nominations directly from The Swamp, what did the Republicans do? Nothing.
When DJT was adding to the Federal deficit, what did the Republicans do? Nothing.
When DJT was pushing the Faucian clot shots, acquiescing in shutdowns of commerce and daily life, what did the Republicans do? Nothing.
DJT had a good portion of his presidency on cruise control and delegated most of the actual work to Republican party stooges. Republicans didn’t “do nothing,” they did all the stuff you complained about.
You guys are still stuck thinking Trump masterminded all this stuff when the guy was playing golf and dicking around on Twitter while “the help” ran the WH Day Care all around him.
Combine this with DeSantis tilting at mouse eared windmills and RFK Jr. shilling for crypto and honestly, I don’t understand how you folks dress yourselves every morning with the amount of intellect it takes to idolize these morons like you do.
It’s repetition of these faux outrage issues drummed in their heads 24/7. No one delivers on that better than the GOP and the radical right media. We all know they don’t really believe any of the crap they spew but their stooges do, as often seen in this very column space.
LOL you believe every piece of crap conspiracy theory you have ever read (as long as it is what you want to hear). The reason Republicans did nothing about 90% of your observations, is they are fake news. There was nothing to do. It is all crap ginned up by right-wing media and those who control them to play their dumb ass readers and watchers, and by politicians like Donald Trump to get those same dumb asses to send them money. Just like you are doing right now. Intentionally, or giving you the benefit of the doubt, because you are a fool you are spreading the same fake news and disinformation that has been debunked over and over. But you can’t fix stupid, so most of us have quit trying.
The GOP wants dumb, uneducated laborers to exploit and grift off of, but actually going down a rabbit hole like anti vax is endangering the livestock. You have to keep it at the conspiracy level so only the dumbest of the dumb win themselves some Darwin Awards. The rest need to remain vaccinated so they can go back to the soulless cubicle farms and/or service industry jobs without killing themselves by the hundreds of thousands.
The deaths of over a million Americans is only a big deal insomuch as it affects the pocketbooks of the insanely rich. If they found a way to make money off of that many deaths they would be cranking that machine 24/7.
Republicans don’t act on the lies their propaganda arm sells you on? Oh geeze man, what a shocker.
Next you’ll tell me they aren’t investigating the pharmaceutical companies that bribe them because it was never about actual concern over what was in the vaccines, just making sure you dull witted gullible clods showed up to vote in an election they still bungled badly.
I think Drunkle is close to realizing he’s been a fool all along, but in the most hilariously wrong way possible. GOP fiction writers aren’t doing a good enough job for him anymore.
And sadly, here we are????
A summation:
DEMOCRATS-BAD
REPUBLICANS-SLIGHTLY BETTER
TRUMP-EPA HAS A BONER THAT WON’T GO AWAY
Nothing but a GOP piece in disguise! Ha ha ha ha
While it does appear the GOP is a pack of wussies and the Dems are the party of insanity, it’s the unelected bureaucrats running the country so politicians can concentrate on insider trading and doing as little as possible for American citizens.