WHO KNEW A SMALLER DONG WAS A GOOD THING?
In his iconic 1986 hit “Baby Got Back” (which was so controversial at the time it was briefly banned by MTV), rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot extolled the virtues of the full-figured woman. Particularly her backside.
Of course the rapper didn’t neglect to reference to his own anatomical prowess, referring to himself as “long” and “strong” and “down to get the friction on” with such well-endowed women.
Hell, Mix-a-Lot went so far as to describe his male member as an “anaconda” – a reference to the world’s largest snake. And for those of you who have forgotten the song, his “anaconda” was absolutely unstirred by women lacking the proper dimensions (36/24/36 … assuming a height of five feet three inches).
Anyway, when it comes to penises there is general agreement that “size matters.” It’s not everything, obviously, but it matters.
It just hasn’t always mattered in the way you’re probably thinking …
According to a highly-cited art historian Ellen Oredsson, small penises used to be all the rage – as evidenced those old-school (a.k.a. sixth to eighth century B.C.) Greek statues.
“Cultural values about male beauty were completely different back then,” according to Oredsson. “Today, big penises are seen as valuable and manly, but back then, most evidence points to the fact that small penises were considered better than big ones.”
Wait … what?
That’s right …
(Way) back in the day, large penises were “associated with very specific characteristics: foolishness, lust and ugliness.”
“All representations of large penises in ancient Greek art and literature are associated with foolish, lustful men, or the animal-like satyrs,” Oredsson added. “Meanwhile, the ideal Greek man was rational, intellectual and authoritative. He may still have had a lot of sex, but this was unrelated to his penis size, and his small penis allowed him to remain coolly logical.”
“Just a chill dude with a small wang,” writer/ comedian Myka Fox wrote.
Well, then … cool logic it is …
So here’s our question: Could it be that a focus on the “wrong head” is what’s driving the ongoing decay/ decline of western civilization? In other words, are men so wrapped up in their manhood (and following where it leads) they have lost sight of higher things? Are they forsaking wisdom and virtue? Yielding permanently to base desires? Oh, and are modern women enabling – perhaps even exploiting – this loss of focus? Using it to expand their influence at mankind’s expense?
Who knows … although this obviously puts a new spin on that infamous Donald Trump painting.