Uncategorized

No Bacon For Federal Inmates

… PORK CHOPS, HAM OFF THE MENU AS WELL The federal government currently has 205,792 people locked up – a little bit less than one percent of the country’s total incarcerated population.  And as of last week (the beginning of the federal fiscal year), they will no longer be eating pork….

… PORK CHOPS, HAM OFF THE MENU AS WELL

The federal government currently has 205,792 people locked up – a little bit less than one percent of the country’s total incarcerated population.  And as of last week (the beginning of the federal fiscal year), they will no longer be eating pork.

That’s right … no bacon, no pork chops, no ham.

What gives?

“Pork has been the lowest-rated food by inmates for several years,” a federal correctional spokesman told The Washington Post.

Really?

Not to instigate a Vincent Vega-Jules Winnfield debate (warning, language) but …

(Click to play)

(Vid: Via)

Seriously, though … WTF?

Some social conservative sites have viewed the move as (bad pun alert) catering to Muslim inmates – who don’t eat pork – although the federal government is already required to feed halal meals to Islamic prisoners.

What’s a halal meal?  It contains meat from an animal killed under Islamic law – in which the slaughterer yells “Bismillah” (“In the name of God”) followed by three “Allahu akbar” (“God is great”) chants.  Then the animal is ritualistically slaughtered.

And yes, that costs more …

This website has repeatedly weighed in on the debate over religious liberty and, well, other liberties.   And yeah there are blurred lines.

As for inmate menus, though, we don’t really care one way or the other …

UPDATE: Ban partially lifted after U.S. Senator complains.

***

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54 comments

Tater Tango October 12, 2015 at 4:03 pm

Tater Tots for everyone. Falafal aka bar.

Reply
Rocky Verdad October 12, 2015 at 4:11 pm

Thank goodness.We raise pigs in our backyard.Family tradition.

Reply
erneba October 12, 2015 at 4:06 pm

Free Bubble Up and Rainbow Stew will be substituted for pork products.

Reply
Tazmaniac October 12, 2015 at 5:06 pm

Had to Google, always an education on this site.

Reply
erneba October 13, 2015 at 2:58 pm

I like a lot of Merle Haggard stuff. This one one seemed to be taking a shot of the social/economic order of the seventies and eighties. As life progressed for him, he seemed to become a hardcore liberal.

Reply
Nölff October 12, 2015 at 4:21 pm

Pork tastes like freedom. Jailbirds don’t know what it’s like.

When I die I want to be buried in pulled pork and gold BBQ sauce.

Reply
Dorothy Berner October 13, 2015 at 7:56 am

my collaborator’s stride mother makes $97/hr on the web…….…..Last weekend I Bought A Brand new McLaren F1 after earning $18,512,this was my last month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, $17k last-month .No-doubt about it, this really is the most comfortable work I have ever had . I began this 8-months ago and pretty much immediately was bringing home at least $97, p/h…..Learn More right Here.
it………………..
??
???? http://www.googlefeedbuzzmoneybestusamonyuklo290.blogspot.com/ ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

Reply
Suck it, FITS... October 12, 2015 at 4:28 pm

FITS got Obama’s salami in his mouth, running cover for him…….As long as they don’t outlaw that, FITS is happy…

Reply
GrandTango and Flip October 12, 2015 at 5:24 pm

Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff. *fap* *fap* *fap*

Reply
How fucked up can you get? October 12, 2015 at 4:31 pm

How long before Obama decrees inmates can legally marry?

Criminals will have more rights than the hard-working, law-abiding contributors, when this Godless bastard gets through with…

Reply
join em October 12, 2015 at 4:47 pm

You could always commit a federal crime and join them. Geez, how everyone thinks it is so peachy in prison is beyond me.

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Common Sense October 12, 2015 at 4:55 pm

Can’t inmates legally marry now?

Reply
About FORCING his will on us October 12, 2015 at 4:59 pm

So could homosexuals, but that didn’t stop the MoFo from forcing his religious dictate into the government…

Reply
GT's Prison Pen Pal October 12, 2015 at 5:23 pm

I hope I get out of here soon, can’t wait to get hitched with you lover.

Love,
Bubba

P.S.: X O X O X O

Reply
Manray9 October 12, 2015 at 4:42 pm

Of course you singled out Muslim practices, but what about kashrut? I’ll wager there are many more Jews in American federal prisons than Muslims. There’s been no squawking about their dietary restrictions?

Reply
MHMM October 12, 2015 at 4:47 pm

jewish tradition exempts prisoners and soldiers from kashrut

Reply
Manray9 October 12, 2015 at 4:53 pm

The Koran specifically exempts Muslims from dietary restrictions when compelled by necessity. Wouldn’t imprisonment be necessity?

Reply
Necessities October 12, 2015 at 5:22 pm

If eating prison food wasn’t a necessity I’d bet most prisoners wouldn’t eat any of it.

Reply
The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 8:06 pm

Not if they can file a federal lawsuit to force the issue.

Reply
The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 6:53 pm

In federal prisons Muslims outnumber Jews 4:1 according to FBP FOIA release in July of 2013. “General” Protestant is number one and Catholics are a close second. The FOIA dud nor address “jailhouse conversions” which are likely for Protestants and Muslims.

http://i.imgur.com/Ij9T8pP.jpg

Reply
Manray9 October 12, 2015 at 11:54 pm

Guess I would have lost my wager.

Reply
pork be gone October 12, 2015 at 4:49 pm

The public has been bitching about the Feds getting rid of the “pork”.

Reply
Republicans October 12, 2015 at 5:21 pm

Actually we love pork, we can’t get enough of it. We just hate it when we have to share it with 99% of the population.

Reply
tomstickler October 12, 2015 at 4:57 pm

Since Muslims eschew pork, halal is irrelevant with regards to pork, but applies to any other animal to be eaten. Halal refers to a slaughter ritual.

Reply
You Ain't Foolin' Nobody! October 12, 2015 at 5:04 pm

Face it…you lying motherfucker. This is Obama’s code to ISIS that he’s down for the Struggle..and Stupid Son of a Bitches like you and FITS are just trying to parse this MoFo’s actions to protect your lord god, Obama..

You ignorant Assholes are always claiming Dog Whistles…yet when we get hit square in the fucking face w/ you Democrats imposing your unholy will on us, you act like a Dumbass, and you think nobody knows what you’re doing.

Reply
TARDrevolution October 12, 2015 at 5:55 pm

It figures the thought of no bacon would rile you up so hard.
Fat bumpkins live for it.

Reply
Crooks Hate Bacon? October 12, 2015 at 5:20 pm

Wow, those prison guys really ARE evil.

Reply
Squishy123 October 12, 2015 at 5:53 pm

All is bullshit, they need to eat what they grow or raise. If they don’t raise shit, they go hungry and the prison turnover timeframe is shorter.

Reply
oink October 12, 2015 at 6:02 pm

Beans are cheaper…will be pork products be removed from the military and public schools next by our glorious leaders?

Reply
The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 6:44 pm

One could only hope – the original MRE pork patty would gag a maggot.

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia October 12, 2015 at 6:56 pm

Was that the same pork they put in “ham and motherfuckers”?

Reply
The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 8:05 pm

That was what the “old guys” called “ham and lima beans”. I had C-Rats a couple of times as they were getting rid of them – they were truly nasty.

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell October 12, 2015 at 8:36 pm

One of the legendary Horace Kephart (Father of Great Smoky Mountain National Park) famous books on camping has an extended discussion of various nation’s military attempts to make a portable imperishable ration in the decades around 1900. Pea meal, rather than dried meat, was often used for the protein.

The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 8:46 pm

Dried peas have been part of the sailor and soldiers fare for centuries. Peas of any kind, except black eyed with ham, are gross.

Bible Thumper October 13, 2015 at 2:39 am

Earlier than 1900.

French Origins

During the first years of the Napoleonic Wars, the French government offered a hefty cash award of 12,000 francs to any inventor who could devise a cheap and effective method of preserving large amounts of food. The larger armies of the period required increased and regular supplies of quality food. Limited food availability was among the factors limiting military campaigns to the summer and autumn months. In 1809,Nicolas Appert, a French confectioner and brewer, observed that food cooked inside a jar did not spoil unless the seals leaked, and developed a method of sealing food in glass jars.[2] Appert was awarded the prize in 1810 by Count Montelivert, a French minister of the interior.[3] The reason for lack of spoilage was unknown at the time, since it would be another 50 years before Louis Pasteur demonstrated the role of microbes in food spoilage.

RogueElephant October 12, 2015 at 9:11 pm

We had C-Rats left over from WWII. There was a scrambled eggs and ham in a can. I never was able to get a whole can down. From what I hear MRE stands for Meals Refused by Ethiopians. I could live off beanie weenie and every now and then there was a can. Everything in Nam was dried and reconstituted. Talk about fake food.LOL

The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 9:35 pm

“Mostly Ready to Eat”
“Mule, Rabbit, Elephant”
“Mr. E” (mystery)
“Meals Rejected by Everyone”
“Meals, Rarely Edible”
“Meals Rejected by the Enemy”
“May Ralph Everything”
“Morsels, Regurgitated, Eviscerated”
“Mentally Retarded Edibles”
“Meal Ready to Expel”
“Meal, Ready to Excrete”
“Meals Rejected by the Emaciated”
“Materials Resembling Edibles”
“Morale Reducing Elements”
“Meals Rejected by Ethiopians”
“Meals Requiring Enemas”

CorruptionInColumbia October 12, 2015 at 9:42 pm

LMAO!!!!! Good ones, all!

Rocky Verdad October 13, 2015 at 10:04 am

My Rectum Explodes?

The Colonel October 13, 2015 at 10:07 am

Thanks, just snorted Dr Pepper all over the keyboard again. Never heard that one before, I will be adding it to the list.

Speak D Truth October 12, 2015 at 7:44 pm

You ever make the mistake of eating a dehydrated one and then drinking water. It was like trying to pass a sponge.

Reply
The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 7:50 pm

ut the dehydrated catsup and a quarter cup of water in your canteen cup, break the hockey puck pork patty into bite size bits, heat for about fifteen off twenty minutes then add to the ramen you brought and it was sort of edible. Eating that damn thing without dehydrating was asking for poopy problems.

Reply
Speak D Truth October 12, 2015 at 8:10 pm

I used to always carry Texas Pete in my ruck, now they put it in the MRE. There were a few times I couldn’t soak my beef/pork patty before eating it. It was seldom that I had a chance to heat it. Those dehydrated fruit cups were better as a cookie than a fruit cup.

The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 8:24 pm

Dehydrated strawberries caused fights in my platoon and there were all kinds of urban myths about how eating them without rehydrating would block your intestines or cause any number of gastrointestinal maladies…

When I became a lieutenant, we had guys in OBC who had been SF and could create nectarous miracles with an MRE, some Tabasco, sugar and non dairy creamer.

Speak D Truth October 12, 2015 at 8:59 pm

Ranger Pudding

The Colonel October 12, 2015 at 9:27 pm

Cracker cobbler (mixed fruit, creamer, sugar, and crackers) Ranger pudding (creamer, sugar and cocoa mix), Sappper stew (what Combat Engineers made from the left over pieces and parts and Tabasco – we always had a stove of some kind so the possibilities were endless)

shifty henry October 13, 2015 at 10:40 am

I never heard of Texas Pete until I was in boot camp with a guy from Texas who put it on just about everything. I loved it, and always keep it handy, together with that Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce — I contribute my lack of stomach problems and nausea to hot spices and pepper (like Zatarain’s Blackened Seasoning).

shifty henry October 13, 2015 at 10:33 am

Gee, that sounds exactly like one of the girls from Platinum Plus who shared my bed with me one night..??

Reply
shifty henry October 13, 2015 at 10:31 am

Navy food — mmmmmmm, good! I’ll come back tonight and tell you how good it was…..
One quick story: (I’m approximating the measurements and quantities). On one of our cruises on the USS Intrepid in the Caribbean we were on the communications night watch. Each division had to rotate guys to the mess hall. We had a short, stocky guy from Canada, a French-Canadian who looked just like those guys in the old movies, in the mess. We requested that he make us some sandwiches and tote them up to us. Frenchie comes in with a 1 gallon jar of mayo, a 10 lb tin of bologna, a 5 lb tin of cheese, 3 loaves of bread, and a 10 lb bag of oranges. He also brought us knives, napkins, orange juice —- and a huge shit-eating grin ..!!

Reply
erneba October 13, 2015 at 3:14 pm

People think that I am kidding them when I tell them that on 90% of the Fridays when I was on the USS Everglades, out of Charleston, we had Lobster for the noon day meal. It was always a treat. That goes back to ‘fish on Friday’ for the Catholics. The chow on that ship was “outstanding.”

Reply
shifty henry October 13, 2015 at 7:37 pm

I can’t remember ever seeing any skinny guys who worked in the mess halls …..

CorruptionInColumbia October 12, 2015 at 7:30 pm

That does it. I go out tomorrow and rob a bank. When I get to the Federal joint, I will explain that I am a strict vagitarian and that they MUST put me in a womens’ facility or I’ll die of starvation.

Reply
Dorothy Berner October 13, 2015 at 7:56 am

my collaborator’s stride mother makes $97/hr on the web…….…..Last weekend I Bought A Brand new McLaren F1 after earning $18,512,this was my last month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, $17k last-month .No-doubt about it, this really is the most comfortable work I have ever had . I began this 8-months ago and pretty much immediately was bringing home at least $97, p/h…..Learn More right Here.
it…………………
??
???? http://www.googlefeedbuzzmoneybestusamonyuklo290.blogspot.com/ ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

Reply
GaryJR October 13, 2015 at 8:57 am

It’s kind of ironic that the only group that gets saved from artery slamming bacon is criminals.

Reply

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