No Bacon For Federal Inmates
… PORK CHOPS, HAM OFF THE MENU AS WELL The federal government currently has 205,792 people locYou must Subscribe or log in to read the rest of this content.
… PORK CHOPS, HAM OFF THE MENU AS WELL The federal government currently has 205,792 people locYou must Subscribe or log in to read the rest of this content.
54 comments
Tater Tots for everyone. Falafal aka bar.
Thank goodness.We raise pigs in our backyard.Family tradition.
Free Bubble Up and Rainbow Stew will be substituted for pork products.
Had to Google, always an education on this site.
I like a lot of Merle Haggard stuff. This one one seemed to be taking a shot of the social/economic order of the seventies and eighties. As life progressed for him, he seemed to become a hardcore liberal.
Pork tastes like freedom. Jailbirds don’t know what it’s like.
When I die I want to be buried in pulled pork and gold BBQ sauce.
FITS got Obama’s salami in his mouth, running cover for him…….As long as they don’t outlaw that, FITS is happy…
Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff. *fap* *fap* *fap*
How long before Obama decrees inmates can legally marry?
Criminals will have more rights than the hard-working, law-abiding contributors, when this Godless bastard gets through with…
You could always commit a federal crime and join them. Geez, how everyone thinks it is so peachy in prison is beyond me.
Can’t inmates legally marry now?
So could homosexuals, but that didn’t stop the MoFo from forcing his religious dictate into the government…
I hope I get out of here soon, can’t wait to get hitched with you lover.
Love,
Bubba
P.S.: X O X O X O
Of course you singled out Muslim practices, but what about kashrut? I’ll wager there are many more Jews in American federal prisons than Muslims. There’s been no squawking about their dietary restrictions?
jewish tradition exempts prisoners and soldiers from kashrut
The Koran specifically exempts Muslims from dietary restrictions when compelled by necessity. Wouldn’t imprisonment be necessity?
If eating prison food wasn’t a necessity I’d bet most prisoners wouldn’t eat any of it.
Not if they can file a federal lawsuit to force the issue.
In federal prisons Muslims outnumber Jews 4:1 according to FBP FOIA release in July of 2013. “General” Protestant is number one and Catholics are a close second. The FOIA dud nor address “jailhouse conversions” which are likely for Protestants and Muslims.
http://i.imgur.com/Ij9T8pP.jpg
Guess I would have lost my wager.
The public has been bitching about the Feds getting rid of the “pork”.
Actually we love pork, we can’t get enough of it. We just hate it when we have to share it with 99% of the population.
Since Muslims eschew pork, halal is irrelevant with regards to pork, but applies to any other animal to be eaten. Halal refers to a slaughter ritual.
Face it…you lying motherfucker. This is Obama’s code to ISIS that he’s down for the Struggle..and Stupid Son of a Bitches like you and FITS are just trying to parse this MoFo’s actions to protect your lord god, Obama..
You ignorant Assholes are always claiming Dog Whistles…yet when we get hit square in the fucking face w/ you Democrats imposing your unholy will on us, you act like a Dumbass, and you think nobody knows what you’re doing.
It figures the thought of no bacon would rile you up so hard.
Fat bumpkins live for it.
Wow, those prison guys really ARE evil.
All is bullshit, they need to eat what they grow or raise. If they don’t raise shit, they go hungry and the prison turnover timeframe is shorter.
Beans are cheaper…will be pork products be removed from the military and public schools next by our glorious leaders?
One could only hope – the original MRE pork patty would gag a maggot.
Was that the same pork they put in “ham and motherfuckers”?
That was what the “old guys” called “ham and lima beans”. I had C-Rats a couple of times as they were getting rid of them – they were truly nasty.
One of the legendary Horace Kephart (Father of Great Smoky Mountain National Park) famous books on camping has an extended discussion of various nation’s military attempts to make a portable imperishable ration in the decades around 1900. Pea meal, rather than dried meat, was often used for the protein.
Dried peas have been part of the sailor and soldiers fare for centuries. Peas of any kind, except black eyed with ham, are gross.
Earlier than 1900.
French Origins
We had C-Rats left over from WWII. There was a scrambled eggs and ham in a can. I never was able to get a whole can down. From what I hear MRE stands for Meals Refused by Ethiopians. I could live off beanie weenie and every now and then there was a can. Everything in Nam was dried and reconstituted. Talk about fake food.LOL
“Mostly Ready to Eat”
“Mule, Rabbit, Elephant”
“Mr. E” (mystery)
“Meals Rejected by Everyone”
“Meals, Rarely Edible”
“Meals Rejected by the Enemy”
“May Ralph Everything”
“Morsels, Regurgitated, Eviscerated”
“Mentally Retarded Edibles”
“Meal Ready to Expel”
“Meal, Ready to Excrete”
“Meals Rejected by the Emaciated”
“Materials Resembling Edibles”
“Morale Reducing Elements”
“Meals Rejected by Ethiopians”
“Meals Requiring Enemas”
LMAO!!!!! Good ones, all!
My Rectum Explodes?
Thanks, just snorted Dr Pepper all over the keyboard again. Never heard that one before, I will be adding it to the list.
You ever make the mistake of eating a dehydrated one and then drinking water. It was like trying to pass a sponge.
ut the dehydrated catsup and a quarter cup of water in your canteen cup, break the
hockey puckpork patty into bite size bits, heat for about fifteen off twenty minutes then add to the ramen you brought and it was sort of edible. Eating that damn thing without dehydrating was asking for poopy problems.I used to always carry Texas Pete in my ruck, now they put it in the MRE. There were a few times I couldn’t soak my beef/pork patty before eating it. It was seldom that I had a chance to heat it. Those dehydrated fruit cups were better as a cookie than a fruit cup.
Dehydrated strawberries caused fights in my platoon and there were all kinds of urban myths about how eating them without rehydrating would block your intestines or cause any number of gastrointestinal maladies…
When I became a lieutenant, we had guys in OBC who had been SF and could create nectarous miracles with an MRE, some Tabasco, sugar and non dairy creamer.
Ranger Pudding
Cracker cobbler (mixed fruit, creamer, sugar, and crackers) Ranger pudding (creamer, sugar and cocoa mix), Sappper stew (what Combat Engineers made from the left over pieces and parts and Tabasco – we always had a stove of some kind so the possibilities were endless)
I never heard of Texas Pete until I was in boot camp with a guy from Texas who put it on just about everything. I loved it, and always keep it handy, together with that Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce — I contribute my lack of stomach problems and nausea to hot spices and pepper (like Zatarain’s Blackened Seasoning).
Gee, that sounds exactly like one of the girls from Platinum Plus who shared my bed with me one night..??
Navy food — mmmmmmm, good! I’ll come back tonight and tell you how good it was…..
One quick story: (I’m approximating the measurements and quantities). On one of our cruises on the USS Intrepid in the Caribbean we were on the communications night watch. Each division had to rotate guys to the mess hall. We had a short, stocky guy from Canada, a French-Canadian who looked just like those guys in the old movies, in the mess. We requested that he make us some sandwiches and tote them up to us. Frenchie comes in with a 1 gallon jar of mayo, a 10 lb tin of bologna, a 5 lb tin of cheese, 3 loaves of bread, and a 10 lb bag of oranges. He also brought us knives, napkins, orange juice —- and a huge shit-eating grin ..!!
People think that I am kidding them when I tell them that on 90% of the Fridays when I was on the USS Everglades, out of Charleston, we had Lobster for the noon day meal. It was always a treat. That goes back to ‘fish on Friday’ for the Catholics. The chow on that ship was “outstanding.”
I can’t remember ever seeing any skinny guys who worked in the mess halls …..
That does it. I go out tomorrow and rob a bank. When I get to the Federal joint, I will explain that I am a strict vagitarian and that they MUST put me in a womens’ facility or I’ll die of starvation.
It’s kind of ironic that the only group that gets saved from artery slamming bacon is criminals.