“NOT OUR FAULT” CULTURE COULD BE A CULPRIT WORTH INVESTIGATING …
|| By LIZ GUNN || I’m going to get right to the point, and likely piss off an entire generation while doing so. Of course I’m generalizing and there are many exceptions to this – some of whom I know personally – but this generation of college co-eds sucks.
As a parent, I am hyper-aware of what a sick and twisted world we live in. I wish I was naïve enough to think things would be better in five or ten years. More than that I wish I was blissfully unaware of just how scary things have gotten.
The frustrating part about this is that it’s not entirely their fault. Of course this generation would tell you that nothing is their fault. But there is actually some truth to it.
It’s not their fault that society decided that hurt feelings were a “no-no.” It’s not their fault that they quit playing dodgeball in P.E. It’s not their fault that they got a trophy just for participating.
So in essence, it really isn’t their fault when they get to college and feel the very first taste of rejection.
People have spent the last eighteen years coddling and protecting them from the harsh reality of life. And it is truly a disservice they have done.
This week’s shooting on the campus of the University of South Carolina is the second murder-suicide at the school this year. I hate to assume how things transpired, but typically, murder suicide is the result of one party being rejected in some way and taking very drastic action.
I know I’m oversimplifying, but by minimizing hurt feelings and rejection – you’re taking away skills people need to learn in order cope with real life. It would be nice if we lived in a world where we could eliminate those things, but we don’t – so we may as well give our kids the tools to deal with them.
When I heard the news of a shooter on the loose today, my first thought was about how terrified these kids and their parents must be. As a parent, can you imagine knowing there was an armed lunatic in the vicinity of your child? Especially if your child is hundreds or even thousands of miles away? The hour or so in which the situation unfolded must have felt like ten years.
My heart goes out to the victim and their family, and to all of those who had to endure the shear panic a situation like this evokes. I long for a day, just ONE day, where we don’t have to read or hear about someone shooting another human being.
In my opinion, this isn’t even a gun issue. Access to guns, whether legally or not, is not the root problem.
What is the root problem? I wish I had that answer.
LIZ GUNN is a wife, mom, travel enthusiast, food snob, daydreamer and lifelong Gamecock fan. A graduate of the University of South Carolina, she lives in Columbia, S.C. with her husband and daughter.
83 comments
I agree with much of what you’re saying here–but in sense, you’re doing it too, by stating “Its not their fault”, 4 or 5 times.
At some point, someone has to take responsibility for their actions.
the parents.
not drugs, not videogames, not guns. its the parents for not providing the guidance needed to teach kids how to be adults.
I USED to feel that way. How do you explain when parents work every day of their life, don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs and their kid turns out as a lazy POS thieving drug addict? Reverse it and how do we account for the kids of crackheads that wind up being good citizens? I may be over simplifying but people have to learn to do their best and even that won’t good enough sometimes and always remember: Life is not fair, and if you expect it to be you will have a lifetime of disappointment.
How do you explain when parents work every day of their life, don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs and their kid turns out as a lazy POS thieving drug addict?
It doesn’t always happen, however there’s plenty of times where great parents raise horrible kids, and horrible parents produce great kids. Environment obviously has a strong effect on how someone turns out, but there are some things no amount of parenting can overcome.
“It doesn’t always happen, however there’s plenty of times where great
parents raise horrible kids, and horrible parents produce great kids.”
My point exactly. Folks from my generation always judged people from the way their kids turned out, but raising kids myself, with mixed results has certainly changed my views on the subject. There are too many variables that can spin a person’s destiny in so many different tangents. Anyone who claims absolutely to know the answer is either a fool or a liar and maybe both. The only truism is that all topless dancers and hookers had terrible fathers, LOL.
Ever met a minister’s kid?
“It doesn’t always happen, however there’s plenty of times where great parents raise horrible kids, and horrible parents produce great kids.”
this.
As usual, dead on.Thank you.Well done.
Agree.
So what do you and the four idiots who supported you agree with in this article? Wrong facts? Absurd conclusions? Totally illogical reasoning? or just the sappy platitudes. Embarrassing.
The root of the problem is living in a soceity where you hand out participation trophies, enroll in an education system where teachers cannot flunk a student and schools cant hold them back, every child is special and gifted and talented in their own way. every child is a perfect human being and is entitled to everything they want.
until they grow up and arent a child any more
This comment is as dumb as the original article. What is the matter with you people?
What’s the matter with you Bill? All you have done is throw rocks at the author and the commenters. Let’s hear your well reasoned, and thought provoking explanation for the current state of our society.
Someone like this is crazy as hell, perhaps? Sheesh, when someone beats their wife or girlfriend to death in the comfort of their own home, nobody bats an eye, but the second they shoot them down in public and turn the gun on themselves and we have to start worrying about dejection driven homicide and participation trophies? You’re missing a perfectly good explanation – mental illness – to bitch about some kid who sucks at soccer getting a trophy? I’m against overly praising suckitude as much as the next guy but I swear you types are just the alpha male morons that want to shit all over the weak kids to make yourselves feel better. Those kids don’t give a shit about those trophies after a week, let alone 10 to 15 years, so if a sucky kid can get over it why can’t you?
If a participation trophy or a girl rejecting you turns you to kill them and then yourself, I think it is safe to say that you were mentally unstable and it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Unless they coat the participation trophies in some kind of chemical that turns people into the Hulk, I think you can shove yours up your ass and stop whining. If that makes you want to kill someone then please, get help somewhere.
I think the state of our society is good. We are healthy, relatively wealthy, and on the brink of amazing scientific discoveries in health and physics. We have access to more information than any group of people in history and we know more about the world we live in than any group of people in history.
The life span and productive years of the millennials will most likely exceed the generation of their parents by 10 to 20% because of health care advances.
Mellennials as a group are hyper connected. They are respectful of the rights of others and tolerant of the beliefs of others. They like to work together to obtain goals. When we add to that the fact they will have immediate access to more information than any generation in the history of the world, I predict great things from the Millennials.
The only head winds I see are a bunch of one per centers bent on extracting as much wealth from the rest of us as possible and bent on controlling that information for their personal benefit, at the expense of everyone else.
I wish that I had your rose colored glasses. I don’t see it quite like that. Interestingly you start out happily saying that we are “relatively wealthy” and then in your last paragraph you want to demonize the wealthy 1%.
I see a lot more head winds. Sure the technology is there but it is being turned against them. We are being lied to and manipulated by our government which is also devaluing our money and using the tax code to line their pockets and their supporters pockets, and punish people who disagree with them.
Then of course besides the enemies elected to office there are the
enemies outside the country who will continue to try to get into the
country and attack us from inside. The government refuses to take steps to stop the infiltration so that it can continue to
take away our liberties while “protecting” us.
Longevity has it’s own problems. We see our parents are living into their 80’s and 90’s and contracting Alzheimers and Parkinsons as their brains wear out while we can keep the rest of them alive.
You should just kill yourself and your kids and get it overwith.
Everybody gets a trophy, Johnny gets to stay and live at home until he’s 35, don’t say “no” to them or it will scar them for life. The whole generation needs a testosterone shot.
I’m not much older than a “college coed” and even I know that this article is hilariously
ignorant. First of all, you’re insinuating that the only people who commit shootings are dejected young folks (not true, by far) and that all it takes is a simple rejection to turn someone into a murderer, because you know, young people can’t handle feeling feelings. This is about mental illness, not bratty coeds, and your statements are insanely stupid to posit otherwise.
Ignorant article? Nothing could be further from the truth. And YOU know it. And stop voting for your own post multiple times. Obviously, you are more IGNORANT than that stupid shit on you machine. Get a good fire wall, bozo. Now back off before the men in black come take you away at 3 A.M. by surprise visit.
Ninja Darkness? Yeah, you sound in touch with reality. I can see why your clueless ass would be a fan of this unoriginal tripe. Now fuck off back into the shadows, dork!
STFU, Grand Tango. And Clemson sucks
You’re in high school, aren’t you?
Thought it was a good article by Liz.Just a wife and mother venting and cordial enough to ask for answers. Well done Liz.
Not about ‘mental illness’. About ‘soul illness’. Mother Teresa once said ‘If a mother can kill her own child, what can be next’?
60,000,000 aborted children later and a pResident that will mock Jesus Christ, it is no wonder that a nation that was built on Judeo Christian values and Biblical truths, is failing our children/grandchildren.
Abortions! Muslim pResident! Durrrrrrrrrrrrr……
now THIS is blogging!! i want to see this person writing guest columns for Fits! something tells me she is only scratching the surface of her typewackery in that last paragraph.
As a forty something Mom (going by her picture), Liz knows what the younger generation is all about. Plus, she can just regurgitate every stupid talking point from every article written about the Millennial Generation in the past five years and pretend its something original. Either way, we’ll post it!
Weren’t the parties involved in their mid forties? How is this article even relevant? Stick to reviewing second rate restaurants, Liz.
Truth hurt? Hate to tell you, slick, but what she’s saying is pretty valid as far as modern society goes. Many people today simply are not capable of controlling themselves, and social mores are almost nonexistent. Yes, it’s worse with the younger generation, but it exists across the spectrum. We’ve become a victim culture, where NOTHING is our fault. Ever notice how THICK the DSM has gotten? Or how accepting of sociopathic behavior society has become (even championing it at times)? Look at how you jump to “mental illness” as an excuse for murder/ suicide. Did my time as a cop (dealt with this stuff up close and personal), and there’s more truth to what she says than not about impulse control issues.
Good article, Liz!
Liz: It’s likely more secularists vs people of hope and faith…
When you will snuff out life because it alters your decadent lifestyle…how much respect do you expect a person like that to have. It’s a hole ideology.
Not necessarily an age thing. But the younger generation is more open to the self-serving lies that are being fed to them by corrupt politicians and a media w/ an agenda of hate and conquer-at-all-costs.
Like those religious nuts that kill their entire families? Research before you spout your ridiculous platitudes.
You’re right. Travel to Sweden where you will undoubtedly find that faithless murderous mob of maniacs butchering all things that draw air. And you know why? No Bibles.
There are no Bibles in Sweden? Can you document this?
They’ve all been consumed by a devil who runs amuck in greater Scandinavia?
Put more palatably – Sweden is largely without religion. More so than any other nation of this earth. Yet, the GrandTango rule of logic states those moral-less citizens inhabiting such a nation should be ruled by lawless disregard for their fellowman.
Which is odd considering Sweden’s violence and nuder rate is among the lowest in the world. And certainly much lower that the U.S., which consequently is at a near all time low.
First of all…the most violent, hateful and sexist in the world hate the Christian God, just like you liberals….
Also, This claim is Very LIBERAL – and deceitful – of you…
You go find a passive, white, and docile gaggle of souls in Sweden…and rationalize that your hate for God is the reason they are not violent…Where is your PROOF Sweden “is is largely without religion”…???…
Not to mention, this actually works against you…since Liberalism is a RELIGION…
This is about as stupid as your leftwing penchant for coming out against hunger and racism..and then appointing yourselves as the protectors of the hungry and offended…even though you are much more the reason for poverty and racial hatred, than the political enemies you hate…
Goodness. I’m certainly not left wanting for more incoherent rhetoric after such a spectacular diatribe.
I’ll leave you with the platitude you so erroneously desire. Sweden’s low crime is but a shining example of Christian moral superiority.
Looks like you’re used to posting your liberal-based Bull-S#!t — and never being challenged….
Again: Liberals are expert of going to find something positive and inserting their ignorant dogma as the reason for the good outcome…in order to feed your greed and maintain your power…
Can we hand out trophy’s to the shooting survivors now that everyone gets a trophy?
More guns is the answer.
Sterilization of Liberals would work. Or simply make Liberalism a question on the 4473 and prohibit them from obtaining firearms, just like drug users and those adjudicated mentally ill.
At least you agree with the need for gun control.
This article is incredibly inappropriate, no matter what happened. But it wasn’t college students involved in the murder-suicide.
‘inappropriate’? On FITS? Oh my!!! No rules on here and why so many visit.
Only inappropriate’ things I have EVER seen on FITS is Boz apparently in “drag” and Rocky posting Lindsay Graham lives with his parents-when apparently they died when he was 13 years-old and he raised his sister.
Those kind of things lose you all credibility on a blog and can never recover.
You sure think about these guys in drag a lot, you sound like the kind of person that wears leather to the pride parades.
“I know I’m oversimplifying…”
This might just make Understatement of the Year. Talk about using anecdotal evidence to arrive at sweeping conclusions. From two incidents you are going to diagnose that society has a problem, and particularly an entire generation of people within that society. I mean really?
Actually, I can draw a conclusion from this article. You are either really out of touch with reality or you are really dumb and insensitive.
+10. And I’ll add, cause Bill is being nice: after this catastrophic fail Liz, just go the fuck away. You’re punching way outside your weight class and making as ass of yourself
You don’t even know if any students were involved and this is the response? Now I know why I hardly ever come to this website.
Definitely not a gun problem though.
Just making sure.
Yes, can’t you read. The evidence could not be clearer. Guns had nothing to do with thee incidents. The problem is an entire generation is screwed up. They are all suicidal lazy murders. I guess from this diagnosis we should have aborted all of them.
Yeah, you def can’t kill someone with a knife or running them over with your car or something, only guns can kill people right?
I dig the look.
your picture looks totally different. you look about 10 years younger. you changed your bio tag lines- after you looked like an idiot claiming to be the no.1gamecock fan in the world, now your new pic reminds me of nikki haley’s teenage whitegirl official portrait. your look may have undergone a makeover but you still just say the dumbest sh1t ever. but yeah, that new freshman college pic looks great compared to your previous quickly aging hag picture you used to use.
You know who raised this so-called generation of “not our faults?” Your generation. Thanks alot, mom.
Turns out it was a Lebanese born member of the faculty so will you be revising your story to blame, Islam, colon cancer (Dr. Fayad’s specialty), the fact that he lived on the lake, or that he went to school in Syria?
I don’t necessarily disagree with your points about the “entitled generation” but you probably should stick with the story rather than trying to tie in totally unrelated hypotheses.
Why should she revise anything? Universities are a dangerous place today and it all begins in with the Vietnam era tenured professors that preach Jesus Christ doesn’t exist and America is evil.
Nothing like a high school dropout that “knows everything” telling everybody how awful a college education is.
In October 1979, an 18-year-old student killed two other students and wounded five more at an on-campus fraternity party at Bates West dormitory on Whaley Street. Those damned millennials and their time machines!
Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/2015/02/05/3971438/2-dead-in-murder-suicide-on-usc.html#storylink=cpy
Is the main picture you after your realized how really screwed up this piece is?
There were already loud laments two-decades ago on the failure of the self-esteem “movement” and its longer-lasting effects. That said, I doubt shock at first failure often explains homicide, though self-absorption may make it easier. Begrudgement or especially a feeling of being betrayed or cheated or unfairly denied in something personally important seems more likely. We should soon see whether it was more the former (say, told her thesis was not acceptable) or the latter (say, professor had new favorite, or personal rejection). Anyway, being dumped can apparently more easily trigger murder than first failing.
(I, unlike the howling mob, like the new picture)
I’m tired of hearing about the problem of kids getting trophies for being on a team. I have a box full in the attic from my sons. But guess what, they also have trophies from WINNING!
48 years ago, my tap dance teacher would put a star sticker on the tops of our tap shoes after every lesson. I was never the best tap dancer in the class, but at 3 years old, it didn’t matter.
I got trophies for every little league football and baseball team I played for, and this was beginning in the early to mid 70s.
@Liz – I really don’t think the two murderers you speak of did it because their parents ‘coddled and protected them from the harsh realities of life’. Moms as young and inexperienced as you think they know everything how to raise children “the right way.”
Oh good… Liz is going to lecture on on gun control.
Keep it up …..Liz…
You want to know what the root of this problem is?
it is very simple: Homosapiens……………………………….the destroyer of worlds
Another gun free zone shooting,, more guns, less crime.
If only we had more guns and less restrictions on ownership. The professor clearly wasn’t equipped to properly defend himself. As we all search for answers, let’s be sure to increase the role that firearms play in every facet of our society, including the classroom. An armed populace is a polite populace. Don’t be a victim.
here’s a quote from the State:
“I am greatly disappointed that the university chose to revert back
to normal conditions,” said Michael Danko, a senior criminal justice
student from Indian Land, S.C. “I have a class at 6:30 and am choosing
to not go because I don’t think I could focus on school work after
hearing about today’s events. I understand there may be pressure to keep classes scheduled since it’s the first week or so of exams,”
I think this is a prime example of the point Liz’s article makes. A student that likely has no classes in the building of the shooting nor would ever have contact with the professor killed feels like they should have ‘the rest of the day off’ basically.
The me-first mentality of these kids (I can’t call them adults) is atrocious.
Well I just think we ought to all go and get a weapons permit and carry them with us where ever we go. That would solve everything. Wild wild south!
Just another case of “Bitches be crazy”.
Killer was 46. How old are you Liz? Y’all are probably from the same
generation.”
Ummm. The parties in the shooting were in their mid-40s. This is not the demographic you’re looking for.
Oh. You forgot the obligatory Haley bash.
Liz: don’t let the world’s problems drag you down.
These test of strength too often can cloud your judgement ….
Please don’t give up … Work where you can make a difference.
You have displayed amazing amounts of blissful ignorance here. Ms Kwon was 46. The professor I
Part two
Liz gunn I would usually have drink syrup of ipecac if I wanted to vomit this vehemently.
You can’t generalize when it comes to school/ campus / movie theater shootings. A range of issues come in to play.
Unfortunately you’re not astute enough to be the person I’d look to for answers.
Ms Kwon was 46
The professor was also 40 something
They were divorced
College students had little or nothing to do with what might have been a crime of passion
Liz gunn if I need a recipe for oysters Rockefeller … I’ll email you.
If I want insightful commentary. Well I’m here on fits news. There will be no insightful comments allowed.
Next.
What I find amusing is the conservatives in America scream “nanny state” and “wimpy liberals” when they have worked very hard to create a nation of pansies because they want to rule by fear. The crime rate is the lowest it’s been since the 70s. Out of 800,000 missing children cases over a 10 year period from 1999-2000, only 115 were “stranger danger.” Meanwhile, on TV you’re told to buy GOLD because the world is about to end! It’s the end of days! ……FACT: The world is safer now than when you were a kid. If you believe otherwise, you are ignoring reality and have been brainwashed.
interesting that the shooter is in the writer’s generation. Well known for their divorce rates and leaching off the economy. Not in current college age generation which is the most educated and qualified generation ever despite the recession caused by the bubble her generation used to rob ours.
really? bodies weren’t even off campus and you’d already published a know-it-all think-piece wrongly blaming an entire generation? and my generation is supposed to be the entitled one?
Nice look, Liz.
Stay off the meth, now, you hear?
What is the root problem? I wish I had that answer.
——–
insecurity and testosterone poisoning.
Your looking at this all wrong. This is Gods way of cleaning out the Gene Pool….