PALMETTO STATE “REPRESENTS …”
By FITSNEWS || It’s always a pleasure when our friends in New York City send us clips of the Palmetto State representing in the national media … and of course when we say “representing,” we mean providing the nation with a laugh at our expense.
This time it’s the story of 33-year-old Michael Gordon, 21-year-old Douglas Tench and 18-year-old Austin Adams – three men who gathered in a Spartanburg, S.C. hot tub to, um, enjoy one another’s company.
According to The New York Daily News, Tench came down from Charlotte, N.C. to hang out at a local gay club – where he met Gordon and Adams. The three wound up together in a hot tub which was located at – get this – a home where Gordon was “dog-sitting.”
Nice …
In the hot tub the three men were reportedly kissing and “touching each other” when an argument erupted over whether Tench or Adams received a higher rate of pay for the provision of escort services.
No really …
Specifically Adams “became angry at Tench and assaulted him by punching and kicking him.” What … no slapping?
Adams initially claimed Tench threatened him with a knife but police “did not locate a knife at the home.”
Wow … only in South Carolina do we find residences with hot tubs, yet no knives.
Behold, our dramatis personae …
For those of you keeping score at home, Adams was arrested for assault while Gordon and Adams were arrested for providing alcohol to a minor. And yes, all of this was under the jurisdiction of the Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office – which we’re sure had the Palmetto State’s honor and dignity in mind when it dropped the hammer on these three gentlemen.
UPDATE: Here’s the police report from this incident … must read stuff.
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55 comments
Cock fight?
Might as well have been a good one, since the Gamecocks themselves were not putting up much of a fight that day.
Sparklecity, euwe and Smirks after Ferguson protest at the local mall?
Now, be fair….euwemax wouldn’t be caught dead in anything as bourgeois as a hot tub…..he prefers the collective egalitarianism of a public bathhouse, as do his idols, Barack and Rahm.
Just typical conservative upstate antics. Four score of years ago it would have been in a mule trough. And Clemson cadets.
Home owner’s note to self, “Burn hot tub”.
The owner should call State Farm to check his coverage.
[Frantic screaming] LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR STATE FARM IS THERE!!!!
I bet the owner could bottle the water from it, and you’d buy every ounce….
A constant trait of the self-loathing and liberal, is to deny who, and what, you are, when it manifests….
Where do you even come up with this shit..your head most be so full of voices. Emily go outside for a few minutes enjoy the day or you will surely rot from the inside out…ooopsies too late..sorry.
You already posted bail?
What? How was the dispute settled. May be 9″ can settle it? Can this dispute be settled with only head shots? No pun intended. I’m worried about the dog.
This incident occurred in Boiling Springs. Look it up on Smoking Gun.
Let’s hope that the dog was not a witness to any of the shenanigans. A traumatized dog is a sad dog.
They probably fucked the dog first.
I’m sure the entire thing can be rectumfied by simply dropping a bar of soap in the middle of the melee.
Sounds more like a jamboree?
But FITS, have you – and your minions on here – not just gone through weeks of SWEARING that ALL gays would immediately engage in monogamy once your government validated their love and allowed them Holy Matrimony from a God you all claim does not exist, but you hate anyway.,..????…What Gives???
You cannot have it both ways. You cannot hipster-ly promote the Gay Lifestyle, in order to seem pop-culture unique…then bash South Carolina -also based on the same need for pop culture inclusion….
IOW: A Conservative South Carolina, that you loathe, cannot then be defined as an immoral and decadent lair of homosexual freestyle….You cannot serve two masters when it suits your hate-based psychosis……
Which do you ridicule, and why do you slam it more???..I think we know the answer, and it cannot be both….as you ignorantly try to perpetuate…
Are you still talking?
“talking”, “taking”, it up the rear…it’s all the same to him. It’s just things going into and coming out of round holes.
Wow, some gay people are promiscuous, while others stay with a single partner. That sounds an awful lot like straight people! It’s like gay people are human beings too, each with their own merits and flaws!
Incredible discovery, GrandTango! You discovered what just about everyone else on Earth has known for, well, quite some time.
“Wow, some gay people are promiscuous”….Hahahahaha….THIS quote qualifies Smirks as a Top Tier Genius by FITS standards…LMAO….
Also:
“while other (gays) stay with a single partner”…talk to any gay man, and he’ll tell you (if he’s honest) he DID NOT get into that lifestyle for monogamy. And if statistics hold true, he’s been raped or molested as a boy….and will have a propensity to do the same…
You Dumb@$$#$ live under a veil of dangerous lies and myths…otherwise you’d’ quit…no one could be as big as F*#k ups as you, and stick with it, unless you live in a world of delusion….
You seem to be quite the expert on homosexuals/gay sex. impressive.
I have kids…I D@*n sure am not going to leave their welfare in accordance w/ the Bull-$#!t ladled out by Dumb@$$#$ like you…and your puppet masters…
The one thing you may be able to do, is fool a substantial number using the media, corrupt politicians and government officials. …but when it comes down to individuals – and you peddle your fables – I’d F*#k you up if you come around me with it..
You may be made to feel real “enlightened and brilliant” over at the bath house, or the Mao Coffee Klatch, on open mic poetry night…
But if you little effeminate and irresponsible pieces of S#!* get around real, heavy-lifting Americans, trying to spew ignorance and endanger children…you will hope the F*#k you didn’t…
“I have kids”
So you’re bi?
I’m not sure what having kids has to do with being obsessed with gay sex, but whatever floats your boat…
Care to share some sources to back up your ridiculous premises above?
I have it sourced on my website. I’d link it but FITS is paranoid over that..
I do find it funny you people deny what you are…as soon as you’re called on it.. You march on the streets…but cower when outed….typical corrupt liberal…
I’d rather not. We have a web filter here at work. Won’t let me visit sites dedicated to gay sex.
You still have a website..wow no one knew..
Bull-$#!*…there are more references to my website on here than there are to FITS. You are obsessed w/ it. Scared to death of any voice not soaked in the ignorance you live by…
“You are obsessed w/ it.”
Seriously? Self awareness. Look into it.
Internet tough guy talk coming from grand asshot.. Priceless.
I have kids…
OMG!
Aunt Pittypat!!
Fetch TBG his smelling salts!!
” hate-based psychosis..” if anyone..and I mean anyone knows about hate based psychosis it would be you. I imagine you are the poster child for hate based psychosis..oh i almost forgot ..how is the website going? #momustillhaventlookedatmysitetoday #lessuniquevisitsthenihavefingers #loserneedsanewhobby.
Those are some of the most pointless hashtags I’ve ever seen.
ahhh the hate based psychosis rears its ugly head again. Whats wrong emily still no visits on your lame ass site…even your mom stopped going..poor emily.
How clever little T..but why do you use so many names to post on this site? the one you supposedly hate so much?
Tango didn’t write that.
Dumb@$$, copy cat much???…
You are some vapid MoFos. You could not come up w/ an original thought if they told you your bath house access depended on it…For someone who hates – and discounts – me….you D*#n sure can only express yourselves using my words…(I completely understand why.)…but you’re so F*#king obviously ignorant…
Now have a blessed day…(:
Where the hell did anybody say ANY of that? My God you are pathetic.
How did I know that it was just a matter of time before you posted commentary on gay hot tube news?
Black poverty pimps in the White House and this is news?
No, this is comic relief and it is just as (if not more) important as the real news. If we didn’t have this kind of silly shit to laugh at we’d all wind up like BigT/Grand Tango/Emily and the entire staff of the SCSPD (BigT/GrandTango/Emily). See below for an explanation….
Speaking of the White House, somewhere there’s a bath house missing it’s Barry.
Michelle wears the pants in that family? I’m shocked … to discover …
The first rule of Gay Fight Club, is you never bring a cock to a knife fight.
Great name.
This is perfect, Obama and Reggie can bring beer and join in.
Hold up… since everyone is all “gays are just like everyone else” and “hooray for gays” lately, what exactly is so funny about this incident that makes it any different from any other domestic dispute, and why is it national news? Careful how you answer or you’re instantly a bigot.
It would still be funny if it was a dude and two hookers – of course if one of the hookers was also under age there’d be more than an alcohol to minors charge and someone would be a “sex predator for life”…
Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three fellas in a tub,
And who do you think they were?
The escort, the minor,
The “reach around from behinder”,
They all flailed around in a tizzy,
‘Twas enough to make a girl dizzy
Sorry – couldn’t help myself
God, are all the readers here homophobic asswipes? Such a cultured state.
You confuse comic relief with homophobia. That’s so gay.
Is this a step up or down from the Sugar the Horse national news for SC?
CHTRG,goes back before AIDS.What idiots.Never,ever use a hot tub;straight or gay.
In case its been forgotten:California Hot Tub Rectal Gonorrhea.