Lifestyle

New Restaurant Alert : Spotted Salamander Cafe in Downtown Columbia

By Liz Gunn || I try not to do back to back Lifestyle entries, but this one just couldn’t wait. I am dying to spread the word about this great new spot for lunch. My all-time favorite caterer, Spotted Salamander, has branched out and opened a cafe – in addition…

liz gunnBy Liz Gunn || I try not to do back to back Lifestyle entries, but this one just couldn’t wait. I am dying to spread the word about this great new spot for lunch.

My all-time favorite caterer, Spotted Salamander, has branched out and opened a cafe – in addition to their regular catering gig. I’m not sure how Spotted Salamander classifies their “genre” of food, but I would call it sophisticated southern.

They manage to take classic southern dishes and put a modern twist on them, making them appropriate for a backyard barbecue or a seated dinner wedding reception. They do not make the mistake of overwhelming you with too many flavors, or losing the appeal of the dish they started with. It’s been my experience that some people who aim to improve upon classic dishes fail miserably by trying to get too cute or too creative.

For example, Spotted Salamander has daily deviled eggs on the cafe menu – that are both classic and sophisticated. How do you make a deviled egg sophisticated? By adding smoked salmon and a sprig of dill, of course. The ones I had yesterday had a tiny pinwheel of ham nestled into the center. Ham and eggs- classic flavor pairing, unique presentation.

They have quite the selection of salads, however not all of them scream healthy living. Like the “Crispy Pork Belly Salad” which includes arugula, warm pork belly, cured egg, tomato, sunflower seeds and (homemade) buttermilk ranch dressing. When I ate there yesterday, I opted for the “Spinach Quinoa Salad” which I am certain would convert any non-quinoa fans with just one bite. Like everything else they serve, all the salad dressings are made from scratch and borderline drinkable.

I also had a cup of the soup – which was “Chicken de Albequerque“, a southwestern-style chicken soup. I’m a soup addict. If there is a soup on the menu that sounds remotely edible, I’ll probably try it…even in the summer. Fortunately, this was beyond edible and I kind of wished I had ordered a bowl instead of just a cup.

They cover all the bases with their sandwich selections – chicken salad, pulled chicken, shrimp salad, brisket  and a “Sweet Tea Vodka BBQ Meatball Sub“. It feels like they went out of their way to make sure there was something for everyone on the menu.  From my catering experience with Spotted Salamander, I know that the meatballs are always a favorite. I have also tried their chicken and shrimp salads, on croissants, and for someone who is extremely particular about those two things – they are some of the best I’ve ever had.

At the counter, where you order before taking your seat, they were offering samples of their latest dessert creation – “Pumpkin Toffee Whoopie Pie“. I’m a little embarrassed to tell you that I may have revisited the counter more than once to “sample” them again. Have mercy.

The cafe itself is adorable. It reminds me of a place I ate on Magazine Street in New Orleans the last time I was there. They’re located at 1531 Richland Street in the historic building that was most recently home to Chocolate Nirvana.

Spotted Salamander is open for lunch during the week from 11:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., but the storefront is open for catering services and pick-up from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. They are taking orders now for Thanksgiving and Christmas. You can order a complete meal or pick and choose from  some really tasty sides dishes, pies and cakes. I won’t tell your mother-in-law if you don’t tell mine.

Deviled EggsSpinach Quinoa Salad
***

Liz Gunn is a wife, mom, travel enthusiast, food snob, daydreamer and lifelong Gamecock fan. A graduate of the University of South Carolina, she lives in Columbia, S.C. with her husband and daughter.

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125 comments

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 9:56 am

That salad looks like something used as an ashtray after dinner but I’ll take a couple dozen of those deviled eggs!

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 10:47 am

“That salad looks like” …..bear scat!

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Bingo! November 21, 2014 at 10:58 am

lol….very good description. Obviously you’ve done some hiking in bear country.

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 11:08 am

Being trapped by bears on Mt. LeConte gave us (my wife and another couple) a lesson in respect for wild animals. Especially if it’s two mama bears with four cubs. It was the papa bear that suddenly showed up behind us that caused us to make an extremely quick decision.

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The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 11:11 am

I bet you had “bear scat” in your trousers after Papa Bear showed up.

Bingo! November 21, 2014 at 12:05 pm

Usually the Mama’s with cubs are far more dangerous. Their decision point for attack isn’t solely based on their stomach contents and your apparent tastiness/ability to fight back.(like males)

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 2:52 pm

We were coming down the trail and encountered two mama bears each with two cubs. Two cubs were in a tree around the curve and about 50 feet from the trail. The other mama bear had two cubs on the inner side of the trail where she had to cross the trail to get to them.

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 12:23 pm

Actually, I think the discussion later was how fast our butt-holes puckered up!

Bingo! November 21, 2014 at 11:49 am

I’ve had multiple bear(brown) encounters it the Alaskan outback, nothing was as scary as my bull moose encounter though. I walked right up to his broadside with the wife in tow because I was going slightly uphill and rounding a very large tree on a hike to a glacier. All I saw was a wall of fur less than six feet from my face(I thought it was a Brownie at first), I turned around to tell my wife to stay behind said tree expecting to become Brownie lunch and when I turned back around the moose hopped a few feet away and dropped it’s rack to about my head level.

I didn’t budge while it stared me down in the middle of the outback from about 10 feet away….after 5 minutes of me talking in low voices and not moving…it turned its head to the nearest bush and started eating away.

True story….

TontoBubbaGoldstein November 21, 2014 at 7:57 pm

Being trapped by bears on Mt. LeConte gave us (my wife and another couple) a lesson in respect for wild animals.

Did you get the opportunity to work in the line:
“I don’t HAVE to outrun the bear; I just have to outrun YOU.”?

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 8:11 pm

Nah — I was a hero for saving her life (she thought!)…..

Buz Martin November 21, 2014 at 11:38 am

“Oh, he don’t eat nothing but bear scat stew …” (“Alley Oop” by the Hollywood Argyles)

Oh? It’s “bear CAT stew, ya say?

Never mind.

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Chef Gordon Fisherman November 21, 2014 at 11:06 am

Yeah, that salad looks like a pile of WTF.

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E Norma Scok November 21, 2014 at 10:00 am

…what to do with pics of the lunch I had…

For someone who says they do more than go socialize with her friends at lunch, you sure seem to do a lot of that.

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????????? November 21, 2014 at 10:06 am

I know – it’s CRAZY that I eat lunch every day. I must be the only person in the world who does that. Not that it’s any of your business, but I actually had a client meeting there. Killed 2 birds with one stone.

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This Is An Ad November 21, 2014 at 10:20 am

I’m sure your “client” was the restaurant.

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????????? November 21, 2014 at 12:01 pm

Hey look it’s you…being wrong again!

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 10:47 am

Liz, but I think you are cute crazy ….

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:) November 21, 2014 at 11:00 am

She’s married dude.

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euwe max November 21, 2014 at 11:13 am

he could have said she was fucking crazy.. but she’s married, dude.

????????? November 21, 2014 at 12:02 pm

True. But I don’t mind a good compliment.

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 12:18 pm

You are very welcome!

:) November 21, 2014 at 1:32 pm

Oh for FFS!

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 2:40 pm

It never hurts to be polite, especially to a female who could probably yell at me (if she met me on the street) so fast her words run together and sound like….well, like dropping bb’s into a milk bucket.

euwe max November 24, 2014 at 5:35 am

For a really good compliment, we’d have to see more of you.

FastEddy23 November 21, 2014 at 11:12 am

Two birds: Tasted like chicken, too?

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euwe max November 24, 2014 at 5:33 am

Killed 2 birds with one stone.

——-
Did you catch them first, and then crush their skulls with the stone, or did you lure them into a pit and drop it on them? The former wouldn’t bruise the meat, but it would require you to catch them first.. and bird lice aren’t pleasant passengers.

I can’t imagine you could actually kill two birds through ricochet off of the first one’s head. That would have to be a Luke Skywalker Force Special!

I’m assuming you eat what you kill.

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 10:16 am

Yep, I can just see 99% of Columbia’s Junior League having lunch there—Oh my Gawd!!!!!
Another “best kept secret” from a city that is world renowned for culinary excellence!!!
See you at Ike’s for a bacon cheeseburger w/mushrooms, fresh cut fries and a Miller High Life Ms. Gunn!!!!
Now, that’s good eatin!!!!!
Oh, and for REAL homemade pies that aren’t made at “home” it sure ain’t Columbia………
There ain’t but one place in South Carolina and that is Yoder’s in Abbeville!!!

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????????? November 21, 2014 at 10:18 am

You’ve clearly never tried anything from Spotted Salamander, so I can’t take you seriously.

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 10:40 am

The vision of a spotted salamander, whose diet includes crickets, worms, insects, spiders, slugs, centipedes, and millipedes, doesn’t excite my taste buds…..

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 10:47 am

Ain’t the spotted salamander on the endangered species list?

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Buz Martin November 21, 2014 at 11:48 am

I was thinking the same thing.

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 10:57 am

Madam, I don’t think you will find me within 3 feet of the threshold of the door of the “Spotted Salamander”
But, hey, I can see “Buffy” taking her mother and/or her mother-in-law there for lunch (and let’s not forget those sorority sisters who can regale on their days at dear old University of South Carolina 10 – 20 years ago!!)
Every town/city of any size has one or more of these places for Junior League types to lunch together – fine
They are all variations of the same theme. Been that way for years & years & years

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Buz Martin November 21, 2014 at 11:45 am

Haw! Jaded and cynical much?

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm

How’d you guess?
One of those bitches broke my tender little heart……………..

euwe max November 24, 2014 at 5:29 am

..as the saying goes – you can’t find love in a whore house.. or a fashion district.

????????? November 21, 2014 at 12:06 pm

During my lunch yesterday the place was full of men & women in suits mostly. It’s in the businesses district. I’m not saying Junior Leaguers wouldn’t enjoy it -but its not in a residential or retail part of town. Then again the people I know in junior league are lawyers, bankers, etc.

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 1:23 pm

“JL’s as lawyers,bankers,etc”.
Think I’m not aware of that????
Mostly “suits” – big surprise there!!!!!

euwe max November 24, 2014 at 5:28 am

Which way is reality from there?

9" November 22, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Wild guess,but I’m betting you’ll have a Wendy’s triple burger,tonight.I like hamburgers,but the meat should never be square.
That’s wrong.

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sparklecity November 25, 2014 at 9:14 pm

Wrongo there 9″

Unless the fast food joint is the ONLY option, I NEVER go to one for a burger.

I eat/drink local/non-franchised burger/beer joints where ever possible.

Ike’s, Nu-Way, Chief’s of Spartanburg here in Spartanburg.

Chiefs of Spartanburg is no longer associated with the other Chief’s and Monday night is $5.00 burgers!!!

And I’m not talking the basic ones either.with $1.00 draft PBR!!

Damn good eats!!

No shit, you can walk out full as a tick for under 10 bucks including tip!!!

Take that Liz!!!!!!!!!

E Norma Scok November 21, 2014 at 10:40 am

>>>Yep, I can just see 99% of Columbia’s Junior League having lunch there—Oh my Gawd!!!!!

It’ll be yoga pants, striped sweaters, huge purses and suburbans as far as the eye can see.

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The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 10:52 am

For anyone who’s claim to fame is Spartanburg, South Carolina to make fun of the culinary opportunities in Columbia, South Carolina is the height of hubris.

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Potato, Potahto November 21, 2014 at 11:02 am

I was thinking “absurdity” instead of “hubris”.

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 11:19 am

No sweat there O-6 type,
“Hubris” is so overused by political wonks anyway, kinda like “gravitas”, “surge” and “boots on the ground”.

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The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 11:32 am

Boots on the ground – my favorite expression. Can’t count the number of times I’ve had to correct O-7s and above that the way we track it under force caps, BOG means “Boots Off the Ground” as in the date the unit had to be gone to keep the “boots on the ground” number under the idiotically imposed force caps…

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 11:44 am

Kinda like “bed down” – used a lot in AF CE for determining how many to accomodate (including support services/functions) upon establishing a landing field.
As posted some time back, I try to avoid using the word “surge” in any sentence but in my line of work i do use it and every time i utter that work, i get a “twitch”
I hate that word now…………

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 1:00 pm

I also hate the words “bed down capacity”. Camp Victory in Kuwait allegedly had a “bed down capacity” of 3,000 – if 980 or so Soldiers, Sailors, Airman or Marines didn’t mind sleeping on broken cots in unairconditioned tents in August…

Dave Chappelle I'm Rick James November 21, 2014 at 1:50 pm

Been there, done that…not fun.

That said, my favorite “play on words” involved “green-suiters.” I enjoyed watching 92F guys refuel my aircraft. Next deployment, contract dudes in green/black suits. Yet, conveniently we had “withdrawn/reduced our force.”

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 2:04 pm

Been there done that too!!!!

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 3:51 pm

Green suiters – another good one. I’ve had to deal with “guys with ties” for most of my career but the last few years more and more engineer and HR related functions are being handed over to contractors – maintenance, mail, accountability, things that the first sergeant, Motor Sergeant and company clerk once handled are now being executed by Bob and Jane instead of Sergeant Smith or Specialist Jones. Works great until you need them to do something outside the scope of the contract. We drew the line as casualty operations.

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 3:49 pm

Ali-Al-Salem AB = Kuwait (July or August 2002 – i forget which month):
No shit straight out temperature: 140 degrees F
Temperature in our tent with the A/C pack on 100% of time: 95 degrees F. and it felt cool!!!!!!
Of course that is a delta of 45 degrees so it did feel cool in the tent. Slept like that for 3 months (June – August 2002) on rotating crew shifts.

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 4:55 pm

credit to you all

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 7:14 pm

Thank you very much for that kind remark.
I was just going into the reserves back in 1988 after being off active duty for 14 years (and mainly to augment my 401K’s!!)
In my wildest dreams I didn’t think there would be 3 wars and they would send old farts like me to them!!!!
But again, thank you
Please think of the men & women serving all over the globe on Thanksgiving.

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 11:38 pm

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving a bit out of the ordinary. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper in front of him, look at it disdainfully and say, “That’s not it” and put it
down again.

At one point, the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was mentally unfit for service, and wrote out his military discharge. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it!”

shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 4:55 pm

credit to all of you…

The Colonel November 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm

Thanks Shifty. The funny thing is we secretly had fun and got paid to boot. On top of that, we’ll have stories to tell for the rest of our lives, some of them even germane to the subject at hand.

shifty henry November 22, 2014 at 8:05 pm

same for me…!

euwe max November 24, 2014 at 5:26 am

“Camp Victory” should have been “Camp Hope,” or “Camp Delusion” or maybe “Camp Forever.”

The Colonel November 24, 2014 at 6:40 am

Don’t know about all that but when you were there waiting for your unit to go to the flight line for your ride home it sure felt like “Camp Forever”…

euwe max November 24, 2014 at 9:57 am

I don’t know why they don’t have a “waiting” section in the obstacle course, where you run up to a real easy obstacle, and have to wait there for 4 hours before you can cross it.

I can wait as well, or better, than any Marine that ever lived… that skill has paid off more than once after I got out.

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 11:11 am

I don’t recall posting that Spartanburg was the Acme of culinary fame.
Columbia ain’t no different than any other capital city or “city” of comparable size and a damn less than many when it comes to eating establishments.
Only redeeming quality in Columbia, SC is the zoo……………..

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The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 11:19 am

Next time you come to the big city let me know and I’ll show you some places to eat here that’ll make your tongue beat your lips to death.

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 11:33 am

No doubt. (or as I’ve heard it said up here: “so good it will make you slap your granny!!!” – Remember, I am NOT a SC native!!)
And I just might take you up on that . I am postiive we would have a stimulating and good conversation on a number of subjects.We’ve got some things in common and been to a number of the same places.
That being said, there ain’t NO place in South Carolina that features beef brisket like they do in Texas!!!
And believe it or not, Wisconsin
Basically, no one in South Carolina even knew what beef brisket was until they started having those bar-b-que shows on TV. Now I see it featured at several “joints” and none of it is near as good as out west (or midwest for that matter).

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 11:37 am

Most of us still don’t know what beef brisket is since we normally eat our barbecue chopped… I just got back from “The Dells” are of WI and was surprised to find really good barbecue there.

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Try Smokey Joe’s in Madison if you’re up that way and if it’s still there (I hope)
Some of the best damn brisket I’ve ever eaten. The place was wall to wall with trophies and that was back in 1990 before bar-b-que had such a national following or competitions. All types of bar-b-que and it was all GREAT!!!
Were you at Volk Field?

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 3:44 pm

Fort McCoy and Volk Field, getting ready for an exercise early next year. Headed back that way in a couple of weeks, will have to try Smokey Joes, I’ll drive out of my way for good barbecue.

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 6:50 pm

Been to Volk Field a couple of times on ORE’S & ORI’s during my flying days.

Due to them being ORE’s & ORI’s never got off the site.
Ask around for Smokey Joe’s in Madison. I hope it’s still there. it was in a little strip mall and very nondescript but DAMN was it GOOD!!!
I’ll try to Google/Bing it in a few minutes

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 6:58 pm
sparklecity November 25, 2014 at 9:06 pm

smoky jon’s.com

sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Just got off “Bing” and it is still open. it is “Smokey Jon’s” NOT Joe’s. Sorry but it has been over 20 years but i am REAL glad it is still in business but not surprised.
Type in Smokey Jon’s – Madison, Wisconsin and you find the site.
Looks like they have gotten even more awards and I’m not surprised and looks like they have moved as well. Back then it was a small place

I do the same thing about going out of my way for good “que”

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 7:25 pm

On it like a fat kid on a donut.

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 7:28 pm

On it like a fat kid on a donut.

9" November 21, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Best barbecue in SC?:http://www.hitesbbq.com/

The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 4:11 pm

Wow, are you trying to break the internet?

Hite’s is up there, the place across the street from BJU in Greenville has the best sandwich, for fast food, rushed has a good sandwich (so does Rushes).

9" November 23, 2014 at 10:48 am

I don’t like to get the sandwich;I want a pound or two of chopped meat,sauce,hash and rice,and slaw,and some Sunbeam buns.The sauce is on the side,unlike Maurice’s who drown their Q in sauce,so you can’t tell how rancid their pork is.No one can compare to,Hite’s.
Rush’s chili cheese burgers are fine,if you’re drunk and want to puke.later,but their barbecue is awful.

euwe max November 24, 2014 at 5:07 am

That being said, there ain’t NO place in South Carolina that features beef brisket like they do in Texas!!!

——–
AMEN, br’er Sparkle!

Jimmy the Greek November 21, 2014 at 2:21 pm

I love fresh pita and hubris.

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The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 4:05 pm

+5

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 12:11 pm

After having sex with a —
1) Prostitute – “That’s all there is!”
2) Nymphomaniac – “Is that all there is?”
3) Junior Leaguer – “I’m going to paint the ceiling beige.”

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 1:28 pm

10++++++!!!
Actually, the JL would say: “I’m going to HAVE my ceiling painted beige”

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 2:41 pm

Thanks, I posted that from memory — I’ve corrected and saved it.

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easterndumbfuckistan November 21, 2014 at 10:47 am

Queue the Liz Hate Squad®. Just like the Mande and Taylor hate squads, it’s the same lame people. These articles all have titles and you know the writing styles of the various authors, so if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 10:49 am

but – but – but —- I just can’t help myself!

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easterndumbfuckistan November 21, 2014 at 10:52 am

You’re just funny, their is a difference. You’re an equal opportunity jokester.

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 10:59 am

Actually, I read all articles on Fitsnews for a variety of reasons. Since Liz, Mande and Taylor put in the effort I’ll support them. I’m waiting for them to throw in some articles on women’s lingerie — with them as the models.

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Buz Martin November 21, 2014 at 11:40 am

I’ll second that emotion.

euwe max November 21, 2014 at 11:12 am

“just funny”
——-
damned by faint praise.

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Fighten' Words November 22, 2014 at 6:12 pm

“Medium talent!”-Bill Murray to Chevy Chase before their fist fight.

euwe max November 23, 2014 at 10:24 am

in a pull-apart brawl only moments before the show went on the air, witnesses say Murray started it by pointing out how everybody hated Chase, while Chase responded by comparing Murray’ acne-pocked skin to the surface of the moon. “I don’t know if Chevy provoked it or not,” says cast member Laraine Newman. “But it culminated with Billy saying to Chevy, ‘Why don’t you fuck your wife once in a while? She needs it.’ And I don’t even remember who threw the first punch, Billy or Chevy. But it was ugly.”

Recalls Blues Brothers director John Landis: “I didn’t know Bill Murray, but he’s screaming, you know, foaming at the mouth, ‘Fucking Chevy,’ and in anger he says, ‘Medium talent!’ And I thought, ‘Oh boy, that’s funny. In anger he says “medium talent.”‘ That really impressed me. I went, ‘So, Bill Murray – wow, who is that guy?'”

9" November 23, 2014 at 6:24 pm

You smoke lots of pot,right?

euwe max November 23, 2014 at 7:26 pm

not any more

dumbisright November 23, 2014 at 2:02 pm

“their” ?

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Buz Martin November 21, 2014 at 11:39 am

What’s it to ya if we do?

I don’t hate any of these women. Far from it. Mande, I totally adore.

Liz ‘a’ight.

Taylor writes well, but she’s a clueless, arrogant little twit. I call her on that. So what?

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easterndumbfuckistan November 21, 2014 at 11:52 am

You’re not actually part of the hate squad. There is a core group of people mostly from the upstate but a few from other parts of our fine state that get really dumb and hateful every time one of the ladies write an article. It just get’s annoying.

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sparklecity November 21, 2014 at 3:33 pm

When Ms. Gunn had a reaction to her her flu shot I posted NARY a damn thing on that subject because that is just plain wrong and cruel.
Shitloads of assholes did and they were not “mostly from the upstate” either
Ms. Gunn has posted she can “take it” and she does.
Ms. Gunn solicits responses and I have taken her up on it. And I believe it is only right to point out that her point of view and perspective is not the only one. Especially when it comes to socializing, dining, the University of South Carolina and football in general.
Looks like you and others are trying to say some of us are not playing nice with a “girl”.
I would be the first to open the door for her,offer her my seat on a bus, and help her with her chair and coat if the situation arose as courtesy dictates. And I certainly respect her right to post anything she wishes although it appears she has never seen the shitty side of life or endured hardships (much like my ex wife – LOL!!!)
I could be wrong though!!!!!
Same for the other female writers.

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euwe max November 24, 2014 at 6:09 am

When Ms. Gunn had a reaction to her her flu shot I posted NARY a damn thing on that subject because that is just plain wrong and cruel.

——–

I also have a double standard when it comes to females. No punches in the face, chest or belly, and take-down maneuvers are to sweep the legs, and grab the arms, avoiding even the appearance of copping a feel.

Also, in order not to insult a woman at a public entrance, I try to dog it so that I arrive at the door long enough after her that she’s already got it open. That way I avoid the possibility that I might unintentionally compete with her significant other for the privilege, or have to smile at her.

On a first date, if I’m picking her up, I’ll hire a limo, so that the limo driver will open the door for her when I pick her up, and for both of us when we arrive. If we’re going to eat, I’ll pick a place where there is a doorman.

To avoid insulting my date by insisting that I pay, I’ll locate a young couple and tell the waitress that I want to pay for their meal in the spirit of “paying it forward,” at the same time as I pay for our ticket… the shock of seeing me pay for someone else’s meal usually disarms the male hubris angle, and expands it into a philosophical discussion about “paying it forward.”

Also, I have mastered the lost art of listening to vapid, uninteresting blabber.. memorizing names and relationships in disconnected settings on the fly.. timed reassurances of similar experience and supportive facial expressions… giving the impression of deep reflection and empathetic understanding even for petty jealousy and the imagined offenses of her fickle friends.

Men have treated women like second-class citizens far too long – it’s time we lighten up, and spend more time on *their* needs for a change.

In these times of transition, between the extremes of antediluvian Southern manners and Bull Dyke Feminism, it’s important to get to know a woman.. “intellectually,” before choosing a coping strategy.

Toyota Kawaski November 24, 2014 at 8:34 am

move back to EDFS

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FastEddy23 November 21, 2014 at 11:03 am

Both “tiger” and “leopard” salamanders are “endangered” here in Taxifornia. The differences, apparently, are the shape of the spots as genetically they are both identical. There are actual salamander tunnels, recently built into the roadways. so they can migrate “to get to the other side”. ( Map: http://www.watchsonomacounty.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/tiger-salamander-map.jpg )

Tastes like chicken.

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 5:08 pm

Which brings up the question: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?—–Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

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FastEddy23 November 23, 2014 at 12:03 am

Flagstaff Az lobster tastes like chicken, too.
(Bakersfield gas 3.49 per … Kingman, Az under 3.20 w/ AAA discount 3.09.)

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FastEddy23 November 27, 2014 at 4:52 am

Turns out Albaquerky New Mexico Mexican (chicken or …) is rather unique… The chicken tastes like chicken fur sure… But the “special” red sauces and spices make these more like super chicken (and IMOP better than Tex-Mex).

BTW: east of Las Vegas and west of Wichita, ALL short order breakfast cooks ignore requests for “over medium”, runny is sop no matter what the waitress writes down. Exception: fantastic “breakfast all day” joint: “Dozens” on Havana in Denver = three thumbs up. … and they bake their own cinnamon buns!

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Jean Skink November 21, 2014 at 11:11 am

Lizard Thicket, Something Frog, Spotted Salamander. Further testimony that Columbia is beyond peculiar.

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Beyond Peculiar November 21, 2014 at 1:33 pm

I’m inviting all women to come the grand opening of my new restaurant, “Trouser Snake”.

All you can eat, for free!

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Judge Smails November 21, 2014 at 11:34 am

Columbia JL’ers won’t come down town. Too many nigras. And you can count the ones who look good in yoga pants on one hand.

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9" November 21, 2014 at 11:35 am

Good review.Sounds great,but a Mexican food truck is about 2 miles away,and is the best food truck food I’ve had.The marinated pork burritos are fantastic,as well as the mulitas,tacos,etc.It’s between Sonic and the old Kimbrell’s on No 1. I’ve been there four times this week.They make a good case for not deporting Hispanics,

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The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 11:38 am

Need better directions por favor!

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9" November 21, 2014 at 11:45 am

If you get into Kimbrill’s parking lot,take a left and you should see it.It’s an orange RV(bring your Spanish or just point)
https://www.google.com/maps/place/Kimbrell's+Furniture+-+West+Columbia/@33.982637,-81.100013,15z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x0:0x34e60371a4d5fee3

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The Colonel November 21, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Muchas gracias, la comida era deliciosa

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Dave Chappelle I'm Rick James November 21, 2014 at 1:55 pm

Great post! I can always enjoy a good food suggestion! I will definitely check it out.

Here, here!

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Buz Martin November 21, 2014 at 11:36 am

Curiosity finally got the better of me, and I just clicked on the “I Cheat For Men Over 40” ad.

Scam. Takes you to a video of some doctor talking about some cure for Big T Disorder, otherwise known as E.D.

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shifty henry November 21, 2014 at 4:48 pm

Ha! 2 ads are appearing side-by-side above

(1) #1 worst food for weight gain = the FAT man…
(2) easy 2 minute detox cleanse = woman bent over clutching her stomach…

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Philip Branton November 21, 2014 at 11:39 am

***….meanwhile, over at the Charleston Airport Authority Board Meeting….***

Jenny: “Lord…, I am so glad this is a closed door meeting. This dust up with Mrs Beamon has really made me hungry…!”

Mrs Liz Gunn: (via Tango app)…..” Ms Sanford,’ if you would like….I can have some nice tarts from the Spotted Salamander delivered…!

Jenny: ” Why Thank You, Liz, ……I don’t think Andy Savage or Paul Campbell would approve of me eating during this closed door session; besides……if I have to leave it in the fridge there is no telling how many contractors fingers will get stuck in the top of my tart….!!”

Liz: “Ya know, Jenny, if the video can catch a thief then it can surely catch some sticky fingers in your tart too….!”

Jenny: “LOL….ya know….that give me an idea…!!”

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erneba November 21, 2014 at 2:59 pm

I dropped by recently and tried the stewed salamander, I would have really enjoyed it if they had just cut off the feet and the tail.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 21, 2014 at 6:26 pm

TBG : “There is a salamander foot in my soup!”

Waitress: “Not to worry, sir. He’ll grow another one.”

BADOOM PSSSHHH!

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Squishy123 November 21, 2014 at 8:11 pm

You’re just a regular Shop Tart.

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State Symbols November 22, 2014 at 1:07 pm

Liz, You seem to love all things South Carolina as do I. Did you know that the Spotted Salamander is our official state retile? Just some added cool factor.

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State Symbols November 22, 2014 at 1:08 pm

reptile – dang it.

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Paladin November 23, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Correction – the loggerhead turtle is our state reptile. The spotted salamander is our state amphibian.

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AD&D FTW! November 24, 2014 at 10:50 am

You’re a level 10 Paladin, huh?

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????????? November 25, 2014 at 10:18 pm

I used to know all that stuff. I still remember most, but I have to admit I had forgotten about the Spotted Salamander! Thanks for the fun fact :)

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Toyota Kawaski November 24, 2014 at 8:37 am

Deviled eggs I feel sorry for your Wife! Sounds like the spotted lizard is F!%$ Up some fine southern food.

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mongo November 24, 2014 at 4:00 pm

I went there today and I quite enjoyed the food. You commenters are a bunch of loons, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As long as you try the food at some point.

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mongo November 24, 2014 at 4:00 pm

I went there today and I quite enjoyed the food. You commenters are a bunch of loons, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As long as you try the food at some point.

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