NO, NOT “THAT” KIND …
By TAYLOR BROWN || The 2016 race for the White House began November 7th, 2012, when, whether from celebration (for those of you cursed with chronic stupidity) or mourning (those of you blessed with something approaching my level my brilliance) all of us faced the harsh light of day, heads pounding with hangovers in full effect.
Since then, I’ve done my best to forecast what I believe will transpire in the months leading up to November 8th, 2016. I’ve decided that there will be a three-way split within the Republican Party. The mainline Washington, D.C. Republicans will push (and fully fund) former Florida governor Jeb Bush’s campaign. And if it’s not Jeb, the next logical choice for these inside the Beltway folks would be Lindsey Graham. Seeing as they’ve already burned through John McCain, Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, it makes sense that if Jeb or Chris Christie can’t make a go of it they would turn to the guy who likes “white men who are in male-only clubs.”
Eh …
The second of the three factions will be led by Rand Paul. Paul will be championed by Libertarians, the “Rawwwwn Pawwwwww!” fanatics, young people and the independent voters who care most about weed and the NSA. Oh, and black people (maybe).
Finally, the third Presidential hopeful will be Rick Santorum, who will have backing from the Evangelicals, Catholics and other social conservatives. Now I’m not saying that other candidates won’t run, I’m saying these three have the best chance at getting the nomination they so desperately want – because they best represent the three competing spheres within the GOP.
All of this is extremely important to South Carolina, as the Palmetto State is the “First in the South” presidential primary and the state (until 2012, anyway) always “Picked the President.” If Graham gets tapped by the D.C. insiders, what impact will that have on the race?
Graham won this midterm election by a landslide, but would that “loyalty” follow him in a long-shot bid for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? I think no. In this election, Graham was challenged by a reality TV star, some no-named candidate and a liberal Democrat.
South Carolina is very pragmatic about the candidates that it chooses (we’ll just forget the Great Gingrich Slip-Up of 2012).
I think South Carolina will almost assuredly go for Rand Paul, and here’s why: Santorum will fight clean, and will fight well, but it won’t be enough to get people excited about him. Graham will fight hard and dirty, but won’t be able to get excitement or the youth vote. Rand Paul seems to have some of the same fervor as Paul, the Elder, did/does. I also think he’s willing to fight dirty – running negative campaign ads which as we all know are terribly effective in this state.
Bigger picture, I think America is too progressive for Santorum, too tired of Graham, and way too smart to elect Hillary (or whatever other cretin the Democrats unleash on America), so that leaves us with Paul.
I guess we’ll all just have to wait patiently to see – a lot can happen in two years.
And the good news for those of you reading this site is that a lot of what happens is going to take place right here in the Palmetto State.
Taylor Brown is a 20-something Wofford College graduate who somehow got sucked into politics at an early age. She is easily won over with Rush’s fast food, wine, and spirited political arguments.
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88 comments
Your level of brilliance?
Holy shit, you are one arrogant little twit, aren’t you?
What has happened to Wofford?
They’ve focused their entry interviews on attracting a more lip gloss friendly crowd.
Isn’t it obvious?!
Having said all that, you’re right about SC going for Rand Paul.
Bull. SC will go for the Consultant candidate – Jeb. But it will be a messy three way with Teddy taking a lot of votes.
Having read you more expansive post on this, I do see the political wisdom in it.
Buz is a fucking idiot and the laughing stock of ‘politics’ in Horry/Georgetown Counties.
The destroyer of candidates. If he endorses you , ya lose.
“Arrogant little twat”
Fixed it for you.
“Arrogant with a big twat”
Fixed it for you too.
Yup, I agree. Tits or GTFO
Holy shit! My comment is up top.
That never happens.
I’ve won FITS!
.
Don’t go feeling too good about it, I’ve had several…but I’m always left feeling like I just won the Special Olympics.
hold on there elvis you may not want to leave the building just yet
you may be experiencing premature ejaculation or this could be the work of willie’s new computer guru who is reported to be dyslexic and in fact you are going up the down staircase
No ejaculants involved. No Onanistic spilling of the seed. Let me make that perfectly clear.
You may be right about the rest of it, though. And having advanced discalcuia, I empathize with dyslexics, wholeheartedly.
A perverted,insane and sexist comment will always put you on top on Fits.
‘show me your tits’ from a 65 year-old Pee Wee Herman type to a 20 year-old ‘daughter’ of somebody makes you proud?
LOck your dorm door Taylor.And if you see a fat,sloppy,slobbering POS with a cane,wearing a dress hummining a Dink Perry melody and carrying a bag full of canned goods on his shoulder, call the police.
That’s an amusing read right there.
Look, pogo: Everybody is somebody’s son or daughter. I don’t know the girl’s exact age. She says “20-something”, so I take that to mean at least 21, the age of majority — making her an adult for every purpose except getting a hotel room in Myrtle Beach for Spring Break without having to pay an enormous deposit.
Sexist? Pshaw! (That’s right, I said “Pshaw!”) She entered into the arena, on a site known in the past and sometimes in the present for sexually provocative posts, and posted in an incredibly arrogant way with a sexually provocative lede — pretending that some obviously non-existent “brilliance” on her part got here here, instead of a nice face, tits and ass.
You don’t even believe sexism exists, putz, just as you don’t believe racism exists, even as you try to guilt-trip people about making fun of your made-up rainbow grandkids.
Also: You, as a self-professed Dink Perry fan yourself, should show more respect for that sadly-departed giant of a talent (my personal friend in the last year of his life), than to use him in yet another attack on me using long-disproven bullshit about me wearing a dress, etc. Hell, even in the gag “drag” pix taken of me by an ex girlfriend 10 years ago, I wasn’t wearing a dress. The “drag” was shoulders up, only.
I’ve ditched the cane and am enduring the pain now, btw. Plus I NEVER eat canned goods, as I’m on a healthy diet now. You don’t keep up very well for someone who pretends to know all about me.
I shake my head at those of you who continue to deny Lindsey Graham’s viability and proven record as a vote-getter in SC.
He’s never lost a race. One term in the SC House and 4 terms in the US House.
He won a outright, without run-off, a 6 candidate primary for the Republican nomination for the US Senate and Tuesday was elected to his 3rd term.
You’re telling us that a state that has elected this man 3 times wouldn’t have the pride to vote for him for President as the Republican Party nominee? Put the liquor drink down, Taylor, and buy a non-alcoholic beer.
He’ll have to grow a beard real quick-like to be viable.
OOPS! I mean FIND a beard.
I would vote for that POS Obama for a third term before I checked the box for Grahamnesty. He is the Republican’s answer to Nanci Pelosi.
Amen, Bro!!!!!!
That’s your right, but the point is only about 4-5% of SC voters (Republican voters, specifically) agree with you. That’s the bottom line when it comes to his ability to carry this state in elections…
And a snappy dresser.
I think it’s those lightweight loafers he wears.
How could the American people ever decide that they want Rand Paul to be President when Rand hasn’t even decided who he wants be?
Does he support Israel or not?
ISIS is a threat, but we shouldn’t involve the US.
I think he would be better than Mr. King at running Domino’s.
“I think he would be better than Mr. King at running Domino’s
————-
—- and are you insinuating a Starbucks for Graham?
Graham would cry to see that wasted on coffee.
Bush, Paul, Santorum… I’d say Graham has a much better shot at winning than these guys. I mean, McCain won the nomination in 2008 and he’s not much different than Graham.
Out of all of the above, though, Santorum would guarantee a GOP loss in 2016. The others would stand varying degrees of a chance at least.
No, they are very different. When McCain says he likes polls he means the statistical kind, when Lindsey says he likes poles, he means the testicular kind.
Taylor you have been very busy. Did you replace Mandy?
Mandy took one look at Taylor’s lips, pulled on a pair of panties and left the building
lmao!
You funny fucker. Glad you’re back.
I sincerely hope that your “career” at FITS lasts until November 8th, 2016 (perhaps you’ll be close to 30-something by then?) so that you will have to eat every single obnoxious, ignorant and catty remark that you made.
You’d be wise to go ahead and start practicing using “Madam President” as Hillary will be elected in 2016 and then re-elected in 2020 – Elizabeth Warren is next in line.
OH BOYYYYYYYYYY!
SLICK WILLIE GONNA BE BACK UP IN THE “HOUSE”
YOU BETCHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People who think they can predict presidential elections (or any major election, for that matter) three cycles out are….well…let’s just say, “different.”
” . . . well…let’s just say, “different.”
Wowza, Mikey! I am so flattered with all of the attention you are bestowing on me lately. Yesterday I was “inspirational” and today I’m “different”.
Don’t take it so personally. You’re quite sensitive, it appears.
” You’re quite sensitive, it appears.”
LOL No need to worry about me and my sensitivities but thanks anyway.
Do you remember how his father did? Ron Paul finished last in a four man SC primary. He got 13%.
Rand is not his father’s Paul. So to speak. He’s found a comfortable way to be more accommodating. His dad always knew he never had a chance, so he used to spotlight to sound off, endlessly. And to a certain point, entertainingly. But Rand does have a chance, and he seriously going for it.
Rand is not his father’s Paul. So to speak. He’s found a comfortable way to be more accommodating. His dad always knew he never had a chance, so he used to spotlight to sound off, endlessly. And to a certain point, entertainingly. But Rand does have a chance, and he seriously going for it.
Hillary vs. Lindsey…..haha.
At least diversity will win (in some respects). We’ve already checked the box for first black president. If we get this matchup then we at least will be sure to check one more box (first female president OR first gay president).
In the end…does it really matter? Nope. Thanks for this worthless article, Taylor. I find it so enjoyable and entertaining when one writes in such a “humble” manner (e.g. “those of you blessed with something approaching my level my [sic] brilliance”).
P.S. Proofread please (my level my brilliance) –> Kinda speaks for itself
Here is the political formula:
ABC vs. XYZ = Person who only cares about their own pockets & ego vs. Person who only cares about their own pockets & ego.
ABC = Insert any politician’s name here
XYZ = Insert any politician’s name here
Nicely done Taylor. However, there’s a certain knowledge that comes with age. The real three-way will be the “Consultant Class” that Palin hates, Ted Cruz – the “grass roots” nut job that will do well in the South, and Rand Paul. The Consultant Class – coming off a big victory – and make no mistake, Tuesday was a huge win for the Consultant class – will back Jeb. (Now they will also grease the rails for Jeb by steering away from Obamacare, passing immigration reform / amnesty – ’cause Jeb can’t run if his wife is painted as an illegal Mexican – and not much else.) Jeb will win the nomination simply because the Consultant class won’t want to roll the dice on Rand Paul. And this will set up the Titan election of the “past Presidents” between the legacy of George Bush and the legacy of Bill Clinton. Winner – the Clinton family. But Hillary is a one-termer. Why? Because actually Rand is the future of the party. A more socially tolerant, new-idea heavy individual liberty guy who more importantly than uniting the party, attracts independents and Democrats. Hell – I’ve been a Democrat for decades and I like Rand Paul.
Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham suffer from the same problem. They are only on the national scene because they were elected from a backward state. Hell, let’s put Ted Cruz in that category as well.
They would all fail in a national election because “the crazy” is not yet nationwide.
Graham still has appeal to neocons and the more centrist elements of GOP establishment. They absolutely don’t view him as crazy. The neocon mindset that drove the last Bush admin so hard has not died out, it has just been outshouted by the loonie religionists hyper-patriotic neo-isolationists
But at the end of the day, Graham is still almost certainly gay — and there’s no way he could keep that hidden if he were to declare for the nomination. But then maybe he could out himself and go to Marcus Bachmann to have the gay prayed away, and then say “Thank yew, Jay-JAY-ZUSS!!!”
For the record, this commenter to this site does not care what adults do in their bedrooms, and bla, bla, bla ….
Even with children?
Blithering idiot! If there are children in the bedroom doing something, it is NOT adults in the bedroom, is it? “Consenting adults” is understood. Except by blithering idiots.
‘Graham is still almost certainly gay ‘
My sides are hurting-think I broke a rib
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld46tm4k-wI
It should have read “Thank you, Jay-ZUSS-UH!”
Glad I could be of service. But not in that way. Not that … aw, you know …
Obama was only on the ‘national’ scene because he was black.
First gay president being basically anti-gay in so many ways could be a real problem for him. Larry Flynt and Perez Hilton would work themselves into full froth. Sorry about that mental image right there.
If we’re gonna have a gay president, can we have
Eddie Izzard instead?
Eddie isn’t gay. He’s a heterosexual cross-dresser.
Yeah… can’t we have him for president?
But Jeb’s wife is NOT an illegal Mexican. I’m sure you know that. Others might not.
What you say makes sense. A win for Hillary, but she does one term, and then Rand Paul will be ripe for victory because we will have it up to the eyeballs with everything she will bring to the table.
I know she’s not – as does Ted Cruz – but that won’t stop him from saying she is.
Excellent comment.
Like anyone gives a shit what a 20 year old has to say about politics.
Groups of them, maybe, if you’re a pollster. Otherwise, nobody gives a shit.
Groups of them, maybe, if you’re a pollster. Otherwise, nobody gives a shit.
Why heap personal insults on this writer? Is she not entitled to express her opinion without being virtually assaulted by the sexist bullies and perverts that haunt this site? Good God, Sir, have you any shred of decency left?
Grande Tangoita is afraid of the compitition. When you peddle shit for a living – you’re always afraid of someone selling something that doesn’t smell as bad as your product.
Nonsense. She’s intentionally insulting in an aggressively trolling way to anyone who doesn’t think exactly like her about politics, and she has gotten into the spirit of the blog by peppering in sexual innuendo. Leaving herself wide open for whatever. Pun intended.
Nonsense. She’s intentionally insulting in an aggressively trolling way to anyone who doesn’t think exactly like her about politics, and she has gotten into the spirit of the blog by peppering in sexual innuendo. Leaving herself wide open for whatever. Pun intended.
She better change her name and move from the dorm.Buz is a lunatic and apparently has her on his radar.
Why heap personal insults on this writer? Is she not entitled to express her opinion without being virtually assaulted by the sexist bullies and perverts that haunt this site? Good God, Sir, have you any shred of decency left?
Whoever gave taylor access to a keyboard made a HUGE mistake
Will is right, it’s like Lord of The Flies or The Hunger Games in the comment section around. Geez people let the new lady get her toes wet before you go full shark feeding frenzy on her.
Taylor, or is it Taylahh? Thought you were into politics more so than you reveal in your post? The conservative who gets the nomination to face the “what difference does it make now-bitch” will be the one that money follows and I don’t suspect it will follow Bush, Rand, Santorum, Graham, or the emerging Wisconsin Governor (as an attractive candidate he appears to be). But it might follow Christie or Perry? The guy you should watch is Ohio’s Governor Kasich, a Republican who took the Democratic state in a landslide. He gives the personal attraction voters want and Ohio is a state Republicans must carry (electoral votes) to have a shot at big prize. Haley might leave before her term is up but it might be something other than the VP. Candidates do not need to campaign in South Carolina, the Republicans own it. What South Carolina Republican tsunami that was Tuesday. The democratic liberturds egotistical, politically correct shits must be licking their balls now in embarrassment.
Coolhand – it’s a statistical fact that the tallest candidate for President usually wins. Hillary is taller than Kasick.
Don’t think size matters in Ohio or in the conservative party. Appeared to me size did not matter this past Tuesday, all sizes voted to roll over the Emperor ObamaIslam and a tsunami wave it was. Watch Kasich closely. You heard it from Coolhandluke.
One of the knee-jerk liberal responses to the @$$-kicking Democrats took Tuesday is to attempt to divert for the ignorant.
Pointing to 2016, and claiming there is not a good Republican choice…or pointing to the most likely to lose, is a smokescreen for dolts…especially when Hillary is the GUARANTEED Democrat nominee…LMAO…Hillary….and you’re rushing to attack the GOP????…PLEASE….
Don’t be a pawn of the idiots who just got shellacked. They’re just using those stupid enough to get played. FITS gets used like this a lot. When you have no core values, it’s easy to manipulate you.
THINK for yourself. Regurgitating others’ failed and manipulative ideology is not worth writing. And you’ll end up looking like a fool (see FITS on the evening of Nov. 4, 2014)….If you cannot be original, FITS will be as far as you’ll EVER go.
Proof positive you are doing a great job, Taylor. Keep up the good work.
Buz is apparently the new political advisor and pollster for Fits-after accusing Will of accepting bribes and being a liar.
Go figure.
No accusation of any such. I stated I did not believe the rumors. And trust me, he doesn’t give a shit what I say about that kind of thing. He knows I’m just stirring the pot.
“A lot of what happens is going to take place right here in the Palmetto State”
Like when this “paragon of common sense and logical thinking” known as the Palmetto State chose Newt Gingrich in its Republican primary in 2012!!!!!!
No wonder the “Palmetto State” is just about 49th in every ranking except bullshiting!!!!
South Carolina ranks high on the list in that category!!!!
Funny thing about predictions
http://www.ihatethemedia.com/november-2010-election-prediction
DAMN, what a buzz kill!
When I read the head line I thought it was a sex tape of Sarah, Michelle, and that little “witch’ from Delaware.
Alas, I will just Google me some RITA JENRETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU BETCHA!
I’ve crapped out more brain cells than this young twit will ever have – and I’ve still got 10 times more than she has now.
Thanks Taylor. I’ve needed an incentive to give up watching this site. You’ve given it to me. You’re more idiotic than the other guest columnist and several times more arrogant. Even more so than Will himself. Here’s to hoping Buz or Smirks start their own blogs.
This piece reminds me of this… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMqcLUqYqrs
This piece reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMqcLUqYqrs Although that young lady isn’t from Wofford, she could be.
Rick Santorum will not be a serious candidate in2016.
Deja Vu! WOW Rick Sanatorium.I love it! Taylor(are you legal?),but you might have missed it:Rick made entirely of gay porn:http://tosh.cc.com/blog/files/2012/02/santorum-out-of-gay-porn.jpg
Dr. Ben Carson says he is running as an R in 2016 (a black brain surgeon).
Rick Santorum???? Isn’t there someone else more qualified to lead the Republicans? Maybe a marginally functional microcephalic with… say, a combination of clinical paranoia, Asperger’s and Tourette’s, who believes in deeply disturbing conspiracies?
How about Louie Gomert?
Wow… Your level of brilliance? You really are making a fool of Wofford. And since I pay $47K a year to go to Wofford, it’s people like you that seriously piss me off.