A “WORD OF CAUTION” IN CONTROVERSIAL SOUTH CAROLINA MOLESTATION CASE …
By DAVID PISARRA || “I’ve been accused of molesting my kid. I didn’t do anything wrong. What’s going to happen?” is the way the phone call starts. “Who’s doing the accusing?” I ask, because that makes a world of difference in these cases.
As a father’s rights attorney in California I’ve repeated this conversation with an increasing frequency that is truly shocking. In heavily contested custody proceedings the allegations are almost a certainty these days in my firm’s custody cases – mostly because we rarely represent the mother who is the most likely person to make false allegations.
Which is why I would caution anyone jumping to conclusions about Josh Kimbrell the conservative radio host. I’m sure the anti-Kimbrell people are bubbling over with glee at the prospect that he is a child molester – especially in light of the Stephen Collins matter that is currently roiling the media.
Lest you think I’m some Josh Kimbrell supporter, lets begin with this; as a gay man who has a God but no religion, Mr. Kimbrell and I have little in common socially, politically and philosophically. I live in California and have never met Mr. Kimbrell nor listened to his show. I am not his constituency.
But I know what he’s going through right now. I’ve represented many men in custody cases and the allegations almost always look the same.
These days the allegations are almost boilerplate language that is pre-printed on a form. If the child is a boy under a certain age it will involve fondling, if a girl, mom will have vaguely worded ‘fears’ that he’s been ‘fingering’ the daughter. These allegations are generally exceedingly vague and unsupported by any actual evidence other than mom’s alleged ‘fears.’
Sometimes with the boys there are allegations of weird toilet behaviors between father and son.
Last week I had a father in my office who was peeing with his 3-year-old. They had been play fighting with their streams of urine, mom thought that was sexual and stole the kid away 2,000 miles from their father.
Where does this stuff come from? From the culture of fear that the mass media has perpetrated upon America. Does molestation happen? Yes. Does it happen disproportionately in divorce and custody cases? No. The allegations are disproportionate, but in the 15 years I’ve been practicing as a family lawyer, the number of our cases that have been investigated by the local Department of Child and Family Services that have turned out to involve actual molestation by a father – zero.
That’s not to say it doesn’t happen, but usually the real molestation cases start in Children’s Court. Where the accuser is a teacher, doctor, therapist, anyone besides the estranged spouse of the accused.
Why do these types of false allegations come up so often in custody cases?
Because there’s a lot to be gained. Moms who don’t want to co-parent can “win” sole legal and sole physical custody if the judge is convinced. There’s money at stake as well – the more custody mom has the more support dad pays – it’s a direct time equals dollars calculation. There’s also a revenge factor if dad’s affections wandered to someone else. There’s the “hero complex” that some moms get of being able to “protect their baby” from a perceived threat of dad. In those cases where mom has a personality like Borderline or Narcissistic disorder she may ‘need’ to oust dad so that she can enmesh herself with the child – it’s a psychopathology that harms the child forever and will generally be repeated in their lives and relationships.
Women who have been raped or molested as children themselves will oftentimes see normal father/child play as sexualized. Because their vision is tainted they can’t trust anyone on a very basic level and then are hyper-vigilant which leads to a psychological enmeshment with the child, and then the cycle repeats itself.
The harm that is done to the children and the men involved is profound.
Purposefully creating a break in the father/child bond is unconscionable in my mind and should be punished by supervised visitation of the false alleger. They should have to do jail time for their false allegations which led to a huge waste of judicial resources, the draining of the family’s financial resources, the stain of the accusation and the perjury they have committed. Will that happen?
Not so long as the tyranny of fear continues to be pushed forward by a media that lives on salaciousness and fear-mongering.
Is Josh Kimbrell guilty of molesting his 3 year old son? I have no idea. Is he a victim of false allegations – time will tell. Is he enduring a hell he helped to create – maybe – because these allegations are easy to make, hard to prove, and rarely forgotten by everyone, thanks to the media.
David Pisarra is a father’s rights attorney in Los Angeles, CA. His website is www.MensFamilyLaw.com. You can listen to his podcast, Men’s Family Law on iTunes and Stitcher.
79 comments
I’m no law expert… But, if allegations were proven false in court, couldn’t the men turn around and file libel or slander charges?
Sure but what are they going to get?? Normally the wife does not have much and the attorney’s are the one that make the most in divorces.
Doesn’t matter. Say he is cleared of the charges and sues. I understand that if a jury awards him – say 1 million … If she and her new husband don’t have the funds, they still have to pay – they can get a loan (lol) .. make payments – or if necessary, a writ of execution can be obtained ordering the police to seize their property and sell it at auction to help satisfy the judgment. If it comes out she did this out of spite and malice, use the court system as a weapon against him, she and her new hubby are toast.
…
People get sued all the time. You would be shocked at the number of civil suits on the docket in most county circuit court systems. Literally thousands.
You can’t force someone to borrow money to satisfy a judgement. I had a civil judgement against someone that expired this year. And in ten years there was never a nickel to get out of them. It is not that easy – they have to have something to take to begin with and even then there are restrictions. They are allowed to retain XXX amount of dollars towards their home, car, bank accounts & even restrictions on any pensions or 401s. I seriously doubt his ex-wife and her husband have much more than a couple of cars, they both are in their mid-20s.
Exactly. Only thing you can do is put liens on property and hope they sell it for a profit.
Tell that to the family court and see where it gets you. They will tell you to borrow the money to pay fees.
PRO TIP:
You can’t get blood out of a turnip.
PRO TIP:
Check Your Law
And you’d be surprised how difficult it is to collect. No wage garnishment for judgments in sc. Why would you take out a loan to pay something they can’t make you pay? You could try to get equity in house, but most of that is protected in sc law. Can’t take car. Literally nothing you can do for most people. Spending thousands to track down a 500 account doesn’t make much sense.
I’d guess 90% of people in SC are judgment proof. You can have a million dollar retirement account and be judgment proof. You can lease a Range Rover, eat out every night, etcetera if you want. The courts are completely apathetic…unless it’s alimony or child support. In that case, they take a chunk of your income and you better be every bit as productive as you’ve always been or you may find yourself in jail. It’s crazy.
After 10 years it expires too. Just lay low, put everything in business or wife’s name and you’re good to go.
That does not always work.
(Never tried to collect a judgment in sc)
(doesn’t know what Writ of Execution is).
(Doesn’t realize sheriffs don’t ever do anything but send back writ nulla bona)
“(Doesn’t realize sheriffs don’t ever do anything but send back writ nulla bona)”
Yep.
I’ve got first hand experience with that. The sheriffs are mostly worthless.
( Jackie Chiles talking to self. Has a lot of extra time. No clients )
You’re being kind using “mostly.”
( don’t retain him )
(Can’t afford to)
“Writ of execution” Black’s Law Dictionary, (West Publishing, 1910) pg. 1234
(Thinks blacks law dictionary is law)
That’s the rub. How are the allegations proven wrong in court? The accused has to again pay to lawyer up and fight the charges. That means his friends, family and employer being asked, “Do you have any knowledge or evidence that he molested his kid?” Not exactly the best conversation to have. And if he doesn’t fight the charges then those allegation follow him around.
If the charges are dropped or he is found not guilty.
Libel and Slander, Malicious Prosecution, Harassment …. Then there are the lawyers, the judges, the police – in their personal and official capacities. Absolute immunity is not always guaranteed. But they are likely going on what his ex wife has alleged, DSS, and her attorney, et al ….. Would like to know what physical evidence they claim to have. But sometimes, just written statements that alleged molestation can cause the issuance of arrest warrants. For all we know, the ex wife did something to the 3 year old and is blaming it on daddy.
And get what? Her nonexistent income? Her new husbands 23000 a year gross income?
Josh is dealing with a BFH. I’m sure he would want to sue her for slander. But he also knows how much this has hurt their child. He wants this to end.
Fits, why does the story cut off halfway through? Is someone targeting your website for covering this story?
This site is a little hinky.Too much traffic,or what(NSA)?
The departure of Mace is the problem.
It’s fixed!
Thanks for the contribution to this blog. Feel free to write again for Will – he needs all the help he can get.
David, Nice article. Its points out many all too common frauds. I must question you though on the title. I don’t see, or haven’t seen so far where the Father participated in falsely accusing the Mother thus backfiring on him. Is there something you are aware of that has not been public yet?
From Wikipedia:
“Hoist with his own petard(bomb)”
If a petard detonated prematurely, the petardier would be lifted by the explosion.
The etymology from the French would amuse Bevis and Butthead.
As of 3:38 pm EST, the article has been fixed.
Not to get off topic, but is it just me or does Nate Leupp look like a complete tool in this picture? Either shave or grow a beard, son.
Man, are you sick of that look, too?
Grow a beard or shave.
Your head is bad.
How so?
Wow. A very well reasoned and thoughtful article. Can’t wait for the commenters to ruin it.
I agree. Time will tell how this pans out. Good to get a perspective from someone who has seen this charge used and abused in similar circumstances. A shame the child ends up being the loser either way.
It’s a WAR ON MEN!
Men are the victims of Domestic Violence also, either by being physically beaten, emotionally battered, or frequently by being accused of being a batterer when they aren’t. This book explains what a man can do to protect himself in all those situations. http://mensfamilylaw.com/?p=345
Here, I’ll summarize for you:
“Grow a pair”
Po’ baby.
Many of you are about to learn the dark secrets of how these cases are handled by the SC Department of Social Services (which already has a long history of being a joke of a disaster to begin with) and the SC Family Court Systems (which is like a circus), the lawyers bringing in favorite paid whores who will say pretty much what the lawyers want them to say . Watch it all closely. You are going to see just how screwed up the entire system really is.
.
The writer of this article above, does know what he is talking about. You can find cases in South Carolina just like those he makes mention of in his state.
He did make clear the fact these kinds of allegations are pretty much confined to the Family Court is because the evidence is not there to justify arrest and/or prosecution.
He also did not reveal that the suggestions for these kinds of allegations in a divorce case regularly come from mom’s lawyer.
Social Services investigators (and we know how incompetent they have been reported to be). There may be physical evidence – indicators on the child’s body. But who is to know if her new husband or someone else did it, and told the 3 year old child to say “daddy”?
That’s an awful ordeal you went through but more often than not,men get away with molestation,as w/Sonny Clark(these stories always remind me of him);you can get away with molestation as well as murder.He got off easy.
http://www.wistv.com/story/1445614/former-richland-deputy-charged-with-1979-molestation
One more thing.I was molested by a doctor when I was a teenager.No matter how hard I tried,no one would believe me,except my teenage friends.That didn’t ‘make me gay’,or a fellow molester.I HATE child molesters.It’s called,’soul murder’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvsI3jc4pPA
I guess thats why your screen name is 9″
Moms who don’t want to co-parent can “win” sole legal and sole physical custody if the judge is convinced (or the judge is a really close friend with the mom’s lawyer).
Bond has been set.
Was waiting on circuit court judge to set it.
Who plays pee pee games with their toddler? That’s pretty fucking weird. Not helping things…
Never crossed the streams. That would be bad.
Ah.. a Ghost Busters reference… good one.
This kimbrell fellow is a skilled liar. He has a porn addiction. He had other girls while his wife was pregnant because she “could not satisfy him”.
Watch out all you folks who are siding with him. He is the one who is trying to smear his former wife with all his family money and connections.
All these charges you lay out, yet no reference to the molestation, weird.
Even weirder, he boned women outside his marriage you claim yet also molested his three year old son.
That’s double weird.
Lol. True. Don’t forget his family is “strange” too.
Bullshit
Are we suppose to hear the theme song from “The Adam’s Family,” like ” their creepy and their kooky”?
Are these women he boned available still? What do they look like? You have their phone numbers?
Well done sir.
The correct phrase is “hoist with his own petard.” It’s Shakespeare for God’s sake. Hamlet, no less.
The Bard was often punny.
Flatulently funny.
It’s not “hoisted.” The quotation from Hamlet is:
“They bear the mandate, they must sweep my way
And marshal me to knavery. Let it work;
For ’tis the sport to have the enginerHoist with his own petard…”
Language changes.Hoisted is correct.Tomorrow is a fairly new word;It used to be,’the morrow’.
I’ve always heard it, “hoist on his own petard.”
Live and learn.
Hoisted or Hoist are the the same.The Hamlet reference is also referring to the present tense.If you want to use Shakespeare’s English,you’ve got you work cut out for you…
I really meant the “on” part.
Umm… WOW! Keep fighting the good fight, man!
Having been donw this road, I will say this. If the mother is lying, and the upstate courts want to finish with the long docket – at some point they will need to threaten, in person, the mother with jail time. Then, and only then, will it stop. So long as the mother believes she can get away with it (and really they never “get away” with it because their attorneys require payment and put liens on the homes) – she’ll continue. She wants more mone, maybe just the attention, maybe she’s just a nut. But to make her stop you actually need a judge to threaten jail time, or actually enforce it. Once they face the potential of going to jail, they stop real quick.
Kacy’s friends have been stalking Josh? Seen driving by his house? His lawyer needs to subpoena all of their text messages and emails.
FITS will the BIGGEST LOSER is this is a false claim. He had the guy convicted and lynched, w/ an overthrow of our government riding on it. FITS had Haley being frog marched out of the Gov’s mansion for taking a photo with the man.
FITS has made a fool of himself before (see Scott Wingo)…but this one ambushed FITS at his most vulnerable point, if fraudulent. Taking out a Conservative, w/ a Haley connection, I bet FITS could put away his Viagra for the last 3-or-4 days, he was so getting off on burying Kimbrell. What if it’s NOT so. LMAO…be like ignoring ISIS all over again, just so ISIS can bite FITS, Obama and RonPaul right square on the @$$…(:…
Incest is more common than people want to think.I’m sure there are a lot more children who’ve been sexually abused,and never heard from,than there are fathers who’ve falsely accused.
This is not an allegation made in the family courts which has yet to be investigated . These are criminal charges, and for an arrest to have been made, a threshold must, in theory, have been met. Perhaps the reference, in the original announcement, to games indicates that the father corroborated that the incident took place but suggested his actions were misconstrued?
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