APPARENTLY THEY DO EXIST
By Liz Gunn || When I saw this headline this morning on Buzzfeed I figured it was just click bait. Of course, like millions of others I’m sure, I couldn’t stop myself from clicking anyway. Turns out, the headline was the least shocking part of the story. The tale in its entirety left my jaw hanging open.
The original version was posted to Reddit, and sources remain anonymous. Therefore it has to be true, right? The story has since gone viral and was picked up today by several major news aggregators. In case you missed it, here is the short version.
According to the allegation, not only did a mother bring cookies decorated like varying “types” of vaginas to a class of second graders, she angrily berated the teacher in front of them for telling her the cookies were inappropriate. The mother was so angry, in fact, that she followed up with a degrading email to the teacher, and then subsequently removed her child from the school. Let’s be honest – that poor kid was probably in need of a fresh start after such incident.
At first glance you might think this mother is an extreme feminist. She was urging the teacher to use the cookies as a tool to teach the kids about the body part. When she concludes her nastygram of an email to the teacher with, “I hope you end up with an abusive husband who beats you every night”, you realize that in reality she’s just bat-s***-crazy.
Being embarrassed by your parents is a rite of passage, but this woman takes it to a new level. If I thought she was trying to be funny or intentionally embarrass her child, it would still be concerning but in a different way. After reading the full article though, it’s clear that this woman feels very strongly…about her lady parts…well, about lady parts in general.
This stunt would be inappropriate at any grade level, but we’re talking about children that are seven years old. Many parents haven’t even had the “birds and bees talk” with their children by that age. And many parents don’t think sex education should be taught in school at all, even at a high-school level.
I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. I want my daughter to be comfortable with and empowered by her body, too. But vagina cookies? What was she thinking? I’m oddly curious -is there anyone out there who thinks this was in fact okay.
Liz Gunn is a wife, mom, travel enthusiast, food snob, daydreamer and lifelong Gamecock fan. A graduate of the University of South Carolina, she lives in Columbia, S.C. with her husband and daughter.
60 comments
I’d challenge the mother to first eat my dick cookies, with my special icing, before having any further conversation on the matter with her.
Shifty withholds judgment until after he has examined the recipe.
What if they were lemon juice douche flavored vagina cookies?
The secret ingredients are tuna and small curd cottage cheese…its this part of the recipe that keeps the condiments coming.
iii
Liz, you must have known you’d never get any serious comments on that subject from this crowd!
Like teaching sex ed in middle school.
more like *not* teaching sex ed in middle school!
So what kind of “serious” comment does this story justice?
“Oh, what a shame! I can’t believe she’s trying to force vagina cookies down our youths throat.”
Blah, Blah, Blah….
Give me the jokes any day over “seriousness” on fucking vagina cookies.
This mom is not a real femi-nazi.If she was she would have brought an aborted fetus for show and tell.
mmmm…. fetus!
The gynecologist raised his head after completing his examination. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy and delicate operation.”
“I’m not sure I can afford it, “sighed the young woman on the examination table. “Why don’t you just replace the batteries?”
Methinks Liz is collecting material for her additional vocation as a stand-up comic…
This story is bullshit…check Snopes.
Most stuff that originates on Reddit is.
Judy Chicago made these triangle-shaped cookies for The Dinner Party. You can find them at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. But they’re ceramic. Sorry, guys.
Not only is the mother bat sh*t crazy, sending harassing and/or threatening emails is a federal crime. All in all, sounds like a case for DSS (but not South Carolina’s).
emails.. federal crime…
um.. huh?
OK, I’ll bite…….
Is FITS so tame now that you guys can’t even show vagina cookies in the art for this post? YEESH!
There is actual vagina cookie clip art out there, and some of it is public domain.
Don’t ask me how I know this.
Masturbating to vagina cookies HAS to be a new low….but I like your honesty.
/// Masturbating to vagina cookies ///
Hadn’t thought of that. I’d have to do it while eating them, of course.
TBG wants a milkshake with his cookies.
from the Korova milk bar!
Taste salty.
Depends. Some taste (and smell) really sweet. Interestingly enough (noted through comparing notes with friends and personal observations), those sweet ones are often found on chicks that are bi.
I want a vagina cookie
Instead of biting these cookies, you lick them.
Also, I am guessing that these cookies could be consumed and still allow you to maintain a vagiterian diet.
This could destroy the Catholic Church, just by rumor!
How is a woman empowered by her body exactly?
If they have about a 5 face or better AND they have big boobs with a skinny waist they don’t have to work any more.
I thought vagina cookies were red, silly me. LOL
pink with purple trim.
FINALLY!
The vagina topic has arrived!!!
Now… let’s have one on what can a man do to transfix a woman’s attention in a similar “fashion” as a woman when showing a man her tits.
Be filthy rich. That’s about it. Only thing that remotely compares, with a whole bunch of them — unless they are junkies, tweek-heads or crack whores.
Oh, yeah, there’s the brains and humor thing. Largely theoretical, especially the older you get — but yeah, sometimes it works right good.
Oh, yeah, there’s the brains and humor thing. Largely theoretical, especially the older you get — but yeah, sometimes it works right good.
——-
I’ve heard about that one.. but didn’t researchers track that down to a compliment used by gold diggers as a smokescreen for being rich? The statistics showed a zero correlation for attractive women and the brains and humor of poor, ugly men.
Dunno. Anecdotal speaking, though, while I’ve had zero experience with being butt-ugly. But as a fat old guy between periods of peak prosperity, I have from time to time gotten wildly — almost impossibly — lucky. Had to be the brains and humor thing.
Thank Jebus that experimental girls do not exist only in Kevin Smith flicks.
Vaginas should be kept secret… even after marriage.. let light never fall on that region of the female body, lest men run screaming from their houses into the streets…
“vaginas are *people*!”
The psychological scars from even *seeing* a thing like that…
Max, very interesting —– I’m not even going to try to compete with that…
It’s not a competition, it’s a collaboration!
The Liz Gunn Vagina Cookie Monologue
nom nom nom..
Whatever……………………………………
How to prove that the woman enjoys sex more than the man. When your ear itches and you put your little finger in and wiggle it around and take it out again, what feels better – your finger or your ear?
Shifty,…….you need to be interviewed by Rosie O’Donnell…..
I try very, very hard to avoid obnoxious people
“He just kept rushing through the lovemaking, which is the part I like, the beginning part. Most women are like that. We need time to warm up. Why is this hard for you guys to understand? You’re the first people to tell us not to gun a cold engine. You want us to go from zero to sixty in 5.5. We’re not built like that. We stall.”
…like waiting in line while a woman pays for something.
You didn’t know there are such things as vagina cookies? Really? There are vagina cookies, vagina cupcakes, vagina cakes, vagina lollipops, etc. usually served at bachelor parties and even baby showers.
In thinking more about this, shouldn’t the mom have sent some fish tacos for their lunches?
And you wonder why this society is in the gutter, gurgling septic water.
You used to have to be creative, or at least interesting to get attention. Now all the shortcut-takers just go Filthy…Bottom-feeders gotta eat. I know that…but when they become engorged, while decency starves, is it any wonder women are looked at like stock-yard meat?
God bless our daughters, and save them from this cesspool of thought.
Didn’t read the article, just the headline and wanted to say “yes, please!”
Straw feminist tale
http://www.snopes.com/info/news/cookies.asp
Ok, so undetermined means it didn’t happen? Can we apply this to “exaggerated” tales like Sandy Hook?
While our actual constitutional rights are being eroded away by an overreaching government, idiots like this are bellyaching about their made up right to impose liberalism on second graders. We are living in Idiocracy people.
Good Day,
My name is Dr William Monroe, a staff in the Private Clients Section of a well-known bank, here in London, England. One of our accounts, with holding balance of £15,000,000 (Fifteen Million Pounds Sterling) has been dormant and last operated three years ago. From my investigations and confirmation, the owner of the said account, a foreigner by name John Shumejda died on the 4th of January 2002 in a plane crash in Birmingham.
Since then, nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this money, as he has no family member that has any knowledge as to the existence of either the account or the funds; and also Information from the National Immigration also states that he was single on entry into the UK.
I have decided to find a reliable foreign partner to deal with. I therefore propose to do business with you, standing in as the next of kin of these funds from the deceased and funds released to you after necessary processes have been followed.
This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles as the fund is legitimate and does not originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any other illegal act.
On your interest, let me hear from you URGENTLY.
Best Regards,
Dr William Monroe Financial Analysis and Remittance Manager
213.291.9497
No,thank you.I had one before,and it tasted just like anchovies.
boobies
wowi