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Who Wants a Vagina Cookie?

APPARENTLY THEY DO EXIST By Liz Gunn || When I saw this headline this morning on Buzzfeed  I figured it was just click bait. Of course, like millions of others I’m sure, I couldn’t stop myself from clicking anyway. Turns out, the headline was the least shocking part of the…

APPARENTLY THEY DO EXIST

liz gunnBy Liz Gunn || When I saw this headline this morning on Buzzfeed  I figured it was just click bait. Of course, like millions of others I’m sure, I couldn’t stop myself from clicking anyway. Turns out, the headline was the least shocking part of the story. The tale in its entirety left my jaw hanging open.

The original version was posted to Reddit, and sources remain anonymous. Therefore it has to be true, right? The story has since gone viral and was picked up today by several major news aggregators. In case you missed it, here is the short version.

According to the allegation, not only did a mother bring cookies decorated like varying “types” of vaginas to a class of second graders, she angrily berated the teacher in front of them for telling her the cookies were inappropriate.  The mother was so angry, in fact, that she followed up with a degrading email to the teacher, and then subsequently removed her child from the school. Let’s be honest – that poor kid was probably in need of a fresh start after such incident.

At first glance you might think this mother is an extreme feminist. She was urging the teacher to use the cookies as a tool to teach the kids about the body part. When she concludes her nastygram of an email to the teacher with, “I hope you end up with an abusive husband who beats you every night”, you realize that in reality she’s just bat-s***-crazy.

Being embarrassed by your parents is a rite of passage, but this woman takes it to a new level. If I thought she was trying to be funny or intentionally embarrass her child, it would still be concerning but in a different way. After reading the full article though, it’s clear that this woman feels very strongly…about her lady parts…well, about lady parts in general.

This stunt would be inappropriate at any grade level, but we’re talking about children that are seven years old. Many parents haven’t even had the “birds and bees talk” with their children by that age. And many parents don’t think sex education should be taught in school at all, even at a high-school level.

I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. I want my daughter to be comfortable with and empowered by her body, too. But vagina cookies? What was she thinking? I’m oddly curious -is there anyone out there who thinks this was in fact okay.

Liz Gunn is a wife, mom, travel enthusiast, food snob, daydreamer and lifelong Gamecock fan. A graduate of the University of South Carolina, she lives in Columbia, S.C. with her husband and daughter.

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60 comments

Dick in a box September 30, 2014 at 11:12 pm

I’d challenge the mother to first eat my dick cookies, with my special icing, before having any further conversation on the matter with her.

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shifty henry September 30, 2014 at 11:19 pm

Shifty withholds judgment until after he has examined the recipe.

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Dick in a box September 30, 2014 at 11:30 pm

What if they were lemon juice douche flavored vagina cookies?

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:08 am

The secret ingredients are tuna and small curd cottage cheese…its this part of the recipe that keeps the condiments coming.

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Anonymous December 21, 2023 at 12:08 pm

iii

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Sailor September 30, 2014 at 11:43 pm

Liz, you must have known you’d never get any serious comments on that subject from this crowd!

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Smirks October 1, 2014 at 9:31 am

Like teaching sex ed in middle school.

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:39 am

more like *not* teaching sex ed in middle school!

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Give me a break October 1, 2014 at 9:43 am

So what kind of “serious” comment does this story justice?

“Oh, what a shame! I can’t believe she’s trying to force vagina cookies down our youths throat.”

Blah, Blah, Blah….

Give me the jokes any day over “seriousness” on fucking vagina cookies.

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guest October 1, 2014 at 10:13 am

This mom is not a real femi-nazi.If she was she would have brought an aborted fetus for show and tell.

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 10:24 am

mmmm…. fetus!

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shifty henry October 1, 2014 at 10:37 am

The gynecologist raised his head after completing his examination. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy and delicate operation.”

“I’m not sure I can afford it, “sighed the young woman on the examination table. “Why don’t you just replace the batteries?”

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shifty henry October 1, 2014 at 11:25 am

Methinks Liz is collecting material for her additional vocation as a stand-up comic…

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Limbaughsaphatkhunt September 30, 2014 at 11:45 pm

This story is bullshit…check Snopes.

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Smirks October 1, 2014 at 9:32 am

Most stuff that originates on Reddit is.

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Gertrude Stein October 1, 2014 at 12:14 am

Judy Chicago made these triangle-shaped cookies for The Dinner Party. You can find them at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. But they’re ceramic. Sorry, guys.

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Cookie Monster October 1, 2014 at 12:38 am

Not only is the mother bat sh*t crazy, sending harassing and/or threatening emails is a federal crime. All in all, sounds like a case for DSS (but not South Carolina’s).

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:45 am

emails.. federal crime…

um.. huh?

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Dice Man October 1, 2014 at 12:43 am

OK, I’ll bite…….

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Buz Martin October 1, 2014 at 12:49 am

Is FITS so tame now that you guys can’t even show vagina cookies in the art for this post? YEESH!

There is actual vagina cookie clip art out there, and some of it is public domain.

Don’t ask me how I know this.

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Strong right arm October 2, 2014 at 11:40 am

Masturbating to vagina cookies HAS to be a new low….but I like your honesty.

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Buz Martin October 2, 2014 at 2:18 pm

/// Masturbating to vagina cookies ///

Hadn’t thought of that. I’d have to do it while eating them, of course.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein October 1, 2014 at 5:27 am

TBG wants a milkshake with his cookies.

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:36 am

from the Korova milk bar!

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Meat Loaf October 1, 2014 at 6:19 am

Taste salty.

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CorruptionInColumbia October 1, 2014 at 8:26 am

Depends. Some taste (and smell) really sweet. Interestingly enough (noted through comparing notes with friends and personal observations), those sweet ones are often found on chicks that are bi.

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Luv machine October 1, 2014 at 6:51 am

I want a vagina cookie

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CorruptionInColumbia October 1, 2014 at 8:27 am

Instead of biting these cookies, you lick them.

Also, I am guessing that these cookies could be consumed and still allow you to maintain a vagiterian diet.

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:39 am

This could destroy the Catholic Church, just by rumor!

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What? October 1, 2014 at 8:40 am

How is a woman empowered by her body exactly?

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E Norma Scok October 1, 2014 at 9:09 am

If they have about a 5 face or better AND they have big boobs with a skinny waist they don’t have to work any more.

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RogueElephant October 1, 2014 at 9:06 am

I thought vagina cookies were red, silly me. LOL

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:13 am

pink with purple trim.

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:07 am

FINALLY!

The vagina topic has arrived!!!

Now… let’s have one on what can a man do to transfix a woman’s attention in a similar “fashion” as a woman when showing a man her tits.

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Buz Martin October 2, 2014 at 9:48 am

Be filthy rich. That’s about it. Only thing that remotely compares, with a whole bunch of them — unless they are junkies, tweek-heads or crack whores.

Oh, yeah, there’s the brains and humor thing. Largely theoretical, especially the older you get — but yeah, sometimes it works right good.

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euwe max October 2, 2014 at 9:59 am

Oh, yeah, there’s the brains and humor thing. Largely theoretical, especially the older you get — but yeah, sometimes it works right good.

——-
I’ve heard about that one.. but didn’t researchers track that down to a compliment used by gold diggers as a smokescreen for being rich? The statistics showed a zero correlation for attractive women and the brains and humor of poor, ugly men.

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Buz Martin October 2, 2014 at 10:04 am

Dunno. Anecdotal speaking, though, while I’ve had zero experience with being butt-ugly. But as a fat old guy between periods of peak prosperity, I have from time to time gotten wildly — almost impossibly — lucky. Had to be the brains and humor thing.

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Buz Martin October 2, 2014 at 10:06 am

Thank Jebus that experimental girls do not exist only in Kevin Smith flicks.

euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:15 am

Vaginas should be kept secret… even after marriage.. let light never fall on that region of the female body, lest men run screaming from their houses into the streets…

“vaginas are *people*!”

The psychological scars from even *seeing* a thing like that…

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shifty henry October 1, 2014 at 9:33 am

Max, very interesting —– I’m not even going to try to compete with that…

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:37 am

It’s not a competition, it’s a collaboration!

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Halfvast Conspirator October 1, 2014 at 9:44 am

The Liz Gunn Vagina Cookie Monologue

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 9:45 am

nom nom nom..

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sparklecity October 1, 2014 at 10:09 am

Whatever……………………………………

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shifty henry October 1, 2014 at 10:16 am

How to prove that the woman enjoys sex more than the man. When your ear itches and you put your little finger in and wiggle it around and take it out again, what feels better – your finger or your ear?

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Philip Branton October 1, 2014 at 12:22 pm

Shifty,…….you need to be interviewed by Rosie O’Donnell…..

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shifty henry October 1, 2014 at 8:03 pm

I try very, very hard to avoid obnoxious people

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shifty henry October 1, 2014 at 10:22 am

“He just kept rushing through the lovemaking, which is the part I like, the beginning part. Most women are like that. We need time to warm up. Why is this hard for you guys to understand? You’re the first people to tell us not to gun a cold engine. You want us to go from zero to sixty in 5.5. We’re not built like that. We stall.”

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 10:24 am

…like waiting in line while a woman pays for something.

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None October 1, 2014 at 10:34 am

You didn’t know there are such things as vagina cookies? Really? There are vagina cookies, vagina cupcakes, vagina cakes, vagina lollipops, etc. usually served at bachelor parties and even baby showers.

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Halfvast Conspirator October 1, 2014 at 10:46 am

In thinking more about this, shouldn’t the mom have sent some fish tacos for their lunches?

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SC Political Digest October 1, 2014 at 11:17 am

And you wonder why this society is in the gutter, gurgling septic water.

You used to have to be creative, or at least interesting to get attention. Now all the shortcut-takers just go Filthy…Bottom-feeders gotta eat. I know that…but when they become engorged, while decency starves, is it any wonder women are looked at like stock-yard meat?

God bless our daughters, and save them from this cesspool of thought.

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Krazy Kat October 1, 2014 at 11:35 am

Didn’t read the article, just the headline and wanted to say “yes, please!”

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Centrist View October 1, 2014 at 11:53 am Reply
Slanderson Cooper October 1, 2014 at 12:07 pm

Ok, so undetermined means it didn’t happen? Can we apply this to “exaggerated” tales like Sandy Hook?

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M. Judge October 1, 2014 at 12:00 pm

While our actual constitutional rights are being eroded away by an overreaching government, idiots like this are bellyaching about their made up right to impose liberalism on second graders. We are living in Idiocracy people.

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euwe max October 1, 2014 at 1:40 pm

Good Day,

My name is Dr William Monroe, a staff in the Private Clients Section of a well-known bank, here in London, England. One of our accounts, with holding balance of £15,000,000 (Fifteen Million Pounds Sterling) has been dormant and last operated three years ago. From my investigations and confirmation, the owner of the said account, a foreigner by name John Shumejda died on the 4th of January 2002 in a plane crash in Birmingham.

Since then, nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this money, as he has no family member that has any knowledge as to the existence of either the account or the funds; and also Information from the National Immigration also states that he was single on entry into the UK.

I have decided to find a reliable foreign partner to deal with. I therefore propose to do business with you, standing in as the next of kin of these funds from the deceased and funds released to you after necessary processes have been followed.

This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles as the fund is legitimate and does not originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any other illegal act.

On your interest, let me hear from you URGENTLY.

Best Regards,
Dr William Monroe Financial Analysis and Remittance Manager
213.291.9497

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9" October 1, 2014 at 2:09 pm

No,thank you.I had one before,and it tasted just like anchovies.

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Anonymous December 21, 2023 at 12:11 pm

boobies

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Anonymous December 21, 2023 at 12:13 pm

wowi

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