Lifestyle

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies

WE NEED TO TALK By Liz Gunn ||I need to preface this post with the fact that when it comes to fashion, I’ve never been afraid to push the envelope. No one would call me a prude or even conservative when it comes to style. If you’ve got it, flaunt…

WE NEED TO TALK

liz gunnBy Liz Gunn ||I need to preface this post with the fact that when it comes to fashion, I’ve never been afraid to push the envelope. No one would call me a prude or even conservative when it comes to style. If you’ve got it, flaunt it – right?

Not so fast.

At the game on Saturday, while waiting for a friend to meet me, I had the opportunity to do some serious people watching. I can’t lie – I was a little taken aback by what I saw. Week to week I expect to see plenty of fashion “don’ts”, but this was on a whole new level.

I like short hemlines. I like form fitting clothes. I like a little cleavage. But ladies…this is a football game, not a dance club! Pick one, not all of the above.

And for the love of God if you’re a solid 50 pounds heavier than you should be, less (skin showing) is more. No one enjoys watching the tops of your thighs rub together. Yes, I actually witnessed this and have had trouble getting that image out of my head ever since.

I watched one girl prance by that I was certain was a member of the Gamecock dance team. Her top was fitted and sheer to just above her nipples, cut out completely in the back, and paired with what appeared to be black Lycra bloomers. Upon further inspection I realized I was mistaken. It was just her outfit du jour.

Don’t get me started on the plethora of cut-off mom jeans and cowboy boots. There are very, very few women in the world who can pull off those shorts. And I have yet to see many of  them in Columbia.

The boots? I don’t mind the boots. I don’t mind the boots paired with shorts or mini-dresses. I mind that people are wearing them when it’s 90+ degrees out. Sometimes common sense has to trump the latest trend. Can you even imagine the smell after eight hours or more in those boots on a hot Columbia game day? No thank you.

My grandmother has always been my fashion inspiration, and the best advice she ever gave me was this; “Just because you can, does not mean you should.” Wise woman, that lady.

Liz Gunn is a wife, mom, author, businesswoman, travel enthusiast, food snob, fashionista, lover of great wine and the No. 1 Gamecock football fan … ever. A graduate of the University of South Carolina, she lives in Columbia, S.C. with her husband and daughter.

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60 comments

My Feet Smell Too September 8, 2014 at 9:29 am

You ought to smell my shoes and socks after a 90 degree day at the office. The smell is stronger than the latrines at Willy B. Stadium.

Those young co-eds don’t have a lock on smelly feet.

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 9:40 am

You have toe fungus.

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My Feet Smell Too September 8, 2014 at 9:54 am

Not possible. I take a bath once a week.

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 10:22 am

I can’t fathom what the issue is then.

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ThisLittlePiggie September 8, 2014 at 11:28 am

Man made upper material?

ThisLittlePiggie September 8, 2014 at 11:28 am

Man made upper material?

Jackie Chiles September 8, 2014 at 9:34 am

Who cares?

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CorruptionInColumbia September 8, 2014 at 9:38 am

What’s in the photo looks fine to me.

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 9:47 am

The two on the left need to drop a a few lbs. Thats what they look like now–imagine them in 20 years.

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CorruptionInColumbia September 8, 2014 at 9:53 am

Hmmm… maybe. Still, even in 20 years, I’d take them over the desiccated lizard look of Jenny Sanford in the hear and now.

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 10:22 am

Seriously..there’s more women to compare them to than someone…er, anyone in politics.

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idcydm September 8, 2014 at 10:30 am

In some societies the two on the left would be worth a couple of cows where as the one one on the right, only a goat.

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 10:55 am

Depending on where you are from, the goat may be more usable.

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idcydm September 8, 2014 at 10:58 am

Like I said, “some societies” and all societies have differing values.

Fat Girl September 8, 2014 at 3:53 pm

The fat girl in the middle would probably treat ya a lot better.

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idcydm September 8, 2014 at 10:01 am

The one on the left looks like there’s cushion for pushin but the one on the right could hurt.

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TheFatFriend September 8, 2014 at 11:35 am

The one in the middle gets sent packing?

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Tazmaniac September 8, 2014 at 11:53 am

Actually, the Little Black dresses in the upper right would be better for keg stands. But all seem to have perfect legs, feet on one end and heaven on the other. ;-P

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 1:56 pm

I missed those. Good catch.

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 9:39 am

This is so pointless even I can’t make something moderately humorous or sarcastic from it. So this is my no-comment, comment.

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Co-Eds Dad September 8, 2014 at 9:45 am

It sucks to be considered old by the co-ed crowd doesn’t it. I have a news flash for you – very few, if any, USC girls are tracking FITS NEWS, especially fashion advice from “old women”. Most of the students that I speak with do not even know who the mayor of Columbia is. However, Liz, I think you’re hot so how about a piece on lingerie?

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 11:17 am

“Old” to the co-ed crowd is anyone above their current level in college.
However, that description completely changes a few years after college when they realize that having all those things in life (a car, a house, nice stuff that you can actually afford) typically comes with a little more experience in the work place. What’s the hottest piece of ass (and steady tuesday night fuck buddy) to a sophomore sorrostitute? Her male counterpart; ie the PIKA pledge class president.

Fast forward to age 25, then all of a sudden that 35-40 year old guy who used to be “OH MY GOD he’s old” is not looking so bad as second husband material. He already has a house, a car and a 401K to raid. The baby clock starts ticking louder and she’s looking for an “out” to working everyday. She’s found out that working everyday, and life, isn’t as easy, nor near as much fun, as college was.

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Limbaughsaphatkhunt September 8, 2014 at 9:57 am

wtf is this?

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Jackie Chiles September 8, 2014 at 10:00 am

This article belongs on Jezebel. WTF is going on lately Fits?

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idcydm September 8, 2014 at 10:13 am

Maybe Fits is trying to be a feed for Al Jazeera.

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Squishy123 September 8, 2014 at 10:21 am

Will, when can we start seeing recipes posted on your blog? Maybe a few tablescape ideas would be nice…

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It's Pat September 8, 2014 at 4:43 pm

I’m sorry did you just say tablescape? All this time I thought you were a dude

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Squishy123 September 8, 2014 at 5:44 pm

Hey I’ve watched Sandra Lee a few times,just for her tablescapes.

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k155/foodnetaddict/sandraboobs2-1.jpg

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Mike at the Beach September 8, 2014 at 6:17 pm

Bro! “Tablescapes?!” Possible Man Card violation!

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Squishy123 September 8, 2014 at 9:35 pm

Easy there Spicoli.

Yes, “tablescapes”… it’s what this blog has become now that the lead writers are more interested in what’s happening in Trenholm Plaza and the small botiques in 5 Points than the State House.

Did you look at my link below? Have you ever watched the Cool Whip Queen on Food Network?

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Mike at the Beach September 8, 2014 at 9:51 pm

Spicoli!!! Ah, a pop culture from my youth…well done. You are correct on the new feminine silliness on FITS.

I have absolutely no idea who that woman was in your link, but I liked her the moment I saw them. I mean, her…

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Bible Thumper September 8, 2014 at 10:33 am

In the background, you can see six more pairs of western style boots. Nothing else is western. Can’t see any cowboy hats. Looks odd.

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idcydm September 8, 2014 at 10:41 am

Can’t have cowboy hats without heads showing, even pictures can be taken out of context.

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west_rhino September 8, 2014 at 10:54 am

Sadly, tis part of the tailgate and party atmosphere pervading Bluff Road environs and is want to conflict with one group’s billboards tagged, “My little black dress doesn’t mean a yes.” Yet if you pic is tweeted or facebooked ‘pon a cloud with something that won’t make yo mama proud (or might suggest your characheter is less than sterling on that post graduate interview), actions have consequences. Just remember some old NSA staffer might have your pics for those dark lonely nights.

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euwe max September 8, 2014 at 10:56 am

There are very, very few women in the world who can pull off those shorts
——–
That’s what men are for.

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Gdaddy September 8, 2014 at 10:57 am

I love your stuff Liz, this site is more than just politics, but once again a bunch of little bitches who ‘hate’ your writing find in sooooo hard to ignore! Keep it up! Maybe squishy will squirm away…

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Manray September 8, 2014 at 11:00 am

Since when has Columbia been a fashion Mecca?

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Same ol' Same ol' September 8, 2014 at 11:11 am

I don’t get the cowboy boot/daisy duke combo. It should be going away right about now.

I like the one on the right, but you know what they say, effin’ a fat girl is like ridin’ a moped. It’s a whole lotta fun, you just don’t want anybody seein’ you on it.

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Same ol' Same ol' September 8, 2014 at 11:11 am

I don’t get the cowboy boot/daisy duke combo. It should be going away right about now.

I like the one on the right, but you know what they say, effin’ a fat girl is like ridin’ a moped. It’s a whole lotta fun, you just don’t want anybody seein’ you on it.

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NinjaPlease September 8, 2014 at 11:12 am

I don’t find the short skirts, cutoffs and cowboy boots worn by lady Gamecocks nearly as trite and obnoxious as the corny frat boy contingent with their fraternity issued visor, Croakies and popped collars.

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Squishy123 September 8, 2014 at 11:19 am

Fratboy attire hasn’t changed since the early 1980’s.

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NinjaPlease September 8, 2014 at 11:26 am

New dogs learn old tricks from their tired, outdated father dogs.

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oldcola September 8, 2014 at 4:19 pm

I guess rush didn’t go so well for you.

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Mr Kicks September 8, 2014 at 11:17 am

Liz, – The boots are more function than fashion. They wear them to hide their flasks and mini-bottles when walking into the game.

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Freddie the Lobster September 8, 2014 at 1:04 pm

Patiently awaiting the companion piece that fat-shames all the Dickey-Dos and Dunlops that also attended the game.

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euwe max September 8, 2014 at 3:37 pm

How about some chili recipes and knitting hints?

I’ve also got a bad kitteh jones.

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599678 September 8, 2014 at 3:40 pm

so she has a problem with women’s thighs touching?

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ewe September 8, 2014 at 4:17 pm

“No one enjoys watching the tops of your thighs rub together.” —sounds like she has a problem watching them rub together. yeah. so do I. i mean how short is your dress or how fat are your thighs if people can see them rubbing when you walk? that’s grossssss.

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599678 September 8, 2014 at 4:57 pm

my thighs just so happen to touch when I walk. So that’s gross?

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E Norma Scok September 8, 2014 at 5:01 pm

Yes it is. You’re fat.

That’s why I’ve always been a fan of bow-legged women.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein September 8, 2014 at 7:42 pm

“Here’s to swimmin’ with bowlegged women!”
—— Capt. (We need a bigger boat…) Quint

599678 September 9, 2014 at 8:58 am

Actually I’m not. But I’m glad you’re a fan of bow-legged women.

Thunder thighs a rubbin September 8, 2014 at 9:53 pm

Only if you wear something short enough for people to witness it. Most women’s thighs touch at some point. Cover that sh– up, yo.

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Jamie Diamond September 8, 2014 at 4:28 pm

Thigh gap is in.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein September 8, 2014 at 7:47 pm

No one enjoys watching the tops of your thighs rub together.

TBG, Sir Mix-A-Lot and Carl Spackler beg to differ.

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Barbarossa September 8, 2014 at 9:13 pm

Liz, love your comments, and let me say this… I think Gamecock women are hot as hell!!! Seeing a little black dress – with a splash of garnet – on a hot brunette or blond USC co-ed makes many a boy skip a heart beat. Keep up the good work!

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Pixie Solanas September 9, 2014 at 3:49 pm

You’re a fatshaming snob. Piss off.

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LowcountryGmCock September 9, 2014 at 4:31 pm

As a man, I prefer the cleavage. I can’t wait til it gets a little cooler and we see yoga pants again. Love me some damn yoga pants.

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Sparklecity September 9, 2014 at 9:30 pm

Honey,
This is South Carolina we are talking about
Quit trying to be a fashion Nazi
Get over it

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sparklecity September 9, 2014 at 9:34 pm

BTW:
Those girls don’t give a shit WHAT you post

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