“JOY HAS LEFT THE STATION”
By Faith Falise || Depression does not ambush you. It is a gradual overtaking by an intangible darkness. It’s a sneaky beast that wants nothing more than to drag you down into the cold abyss of hopelessness and melancholy. You don’t see it coming. You don’t feel anything, so you don’t feel it happening. It slowly consumes.
You wake up not looking forward to anything. Joy has left the station. Getting out of bed is physically painful. Looking in the mirror is pitiful. It’s best to lay in bed and ask the spouse to take the children to school. You excuse yourself from a variety of social occasions. You can’t imagine laughing and small talk or putting on your little black dress. Hell, you can’t even imagine showering regularly. Bursting out into tears at dinner with friends and making people uncomfortable becomes your new normal.
Your house becomes your cave. You become a recluse. You slop around in rags. Your former self is a distant memory replaced with a woman that looks vaguely like your grandmother and vaguely like a homeless person you once helped.
Perfume, lipstick, brushed hair, clean socks? Overrated. You don’t answer the phone, you don’t respond to questions, you don’t face anyone. You are negative. Positivity left on the same train as joy.
It’s almost impossible to drag yourself up and out of depression. You are told that you have to work to climb out of the tar pit of despair, but you know that the effort will be too great for you; you are too tired to do it. The world would be better off without a negative nelly in its midst. You are nobody and nobody will miss you. You are invisible.
Your accomplishments mean nothing. You are a bad parent. You brought this on yourself.
This is clinical depression and although intangible, it’s real. NCBI (National Center for Biotechnology Information) reports that the risk of depression is consistently two to three times higher among women than men. Yet, according to the CDC there are four male suicides for every female suicide due to depression.
If they’re like me they’ll want to jump from the top of a building to escape it all. Thank God I didn’t, but I could have, easily.
Godspeed, Robin Williams. Those of us that suffered through clinical depression all too well understand your pain. Your talent will be sorely missed. The number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Faith Falise is a libertarian activist, homeschooler and author who knows what it means to battle clinical depression.
20 comments
Thank you, Faith. Really, really well done. Love you a lot.
Good job Faith! I was hoping someone would focus on using this “permanent way to deal with a temporary problem” as a catalyst toward discussing Mental Illness and Suicide.
Of course, if one believes in reincarnation (I do), suicide is a temporary solution to a more or less permanent problem.
Mind = Blown
Figuratively speaking, of course.
Excellent.
Loving all the new voices and new perspectives on the site. Glad that Faith is one of them …
That’s just Emily adding a few more voices in her head.
Kick them in the ass and tell them to suck it up Nancy.
A woman was brutally raped and years later she still suffered from depression and lack of self esteem. She was being used by a married “sex hobbyist” (his words) that I discovered was in the S.C. National Guard. I brought charges against the individual (solicitation, etc.) but the summary hearing was rigged for a predetermined outcome. Evidence was intentionally omitted and the Major presiding over the hearing acted as counsel for the accused. Somebody ask Adjutant General Livingston why he won’t address the problem and reply to me as he said he would (proof of lies and deceit available). It has more to do with protecting his men than dealing with the truth.
People with depression can suffer a variety of associated ills and it does affect others too. Allowing users of others to prey on these types is beyond my comprehension.
” NCBI (National Center for Biotechnology Information) reports that the risk of depression is consistently two to
three times higher among women than men. Yet, according to the CDC there are four male suicides for every female suicide due to depression.”
It appears that the methods of dealing with overwhelming depression differ between men and women.
Suicide – Facts at a glance
http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/suicide_datasheet-a.pdf
Gender Disparities
* Suicide among males is four times higher than among females and represents 79% of all U.S. suicides.
* Females are more likely than males to have had suicidal thoughts.
* Firearms are the most commonly used method of suicide among males (56%).
* Poisoning is the most common method of suicide for females (37.4%).
It is a VERY liberal (and worthless) reaction to start looking at the symptom, instead of the cause.
Man’s inability to seek his soul or his God, is the root of more struggle, that those w/o faith will ever understand.
It’s akin to the education or race solutions, that fail liberals over and over. When you lie to yourself about God and true morality, it will kill you. The depression is only a signal of your lost soul. There are cures, but your ignorance is not one of them.
You are, of course severely wrong. And stupid too.
Cognitive therapy is best. Avoid the legal drug pushers at all cost.
Better living through chemistry.
And a pill will cover it all up, put your brain in a cloud as you drive at fast spends upon the paved roads.
Effexor – take it… live it!
Great article by Faith – very nice and glad that you posted it, FITS.
A real shame to read some of the posts on the threads about Robin Williams – some folks just have no class I suppose. And I’m not saying that I do – but at least I have the sense to show a little respect when someone has just passed away and was obviously very troubled.
Personally, I think everyone needs a good Shrink.
Beautiful. Keep on struggling. That’s all any of us can do.
Thanks for writing this.
Have seen it. Have seen it destroy. Even once perhaps briefly felt the faintest pull.
These people deserve our sympathy and help. I can scarcely imagine what they go through.
I’m stunned to have stumbled across this article, by Faith Falise. This is a woman, whom had two CLOSE friends, whom suffer from severe depression, whom she choose to abandon in their time of need and did not try to have an ounce of understanding for their struggles.
I find this HIGHLY hypocritical, to write a article on such a horrible disease that you “relate” to (much less supposedly suffered from), but are not compassionate/empathetic to others whom suffer from this disease.
The two friends whom Faith abandoned, are also friends (current) of mine, whom ironically I met through Faith. I was cut off by Faith, without so much as a warning/explanation, simply because I choose to stand by these two people and forge on with our friendships, so I am left to assume I was “guilty by association”. These people have been a great addition to my life and I care deeply for them and respect them for their willingness to forge on, despite their daily struggles, which I admittedly don’t understand, because I myself, do not suffer from depression. I don’t pretend to understand, I am simply an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on or there to let them know that their life is worth fighting for and means something to me.
I believe Faith’s hypocritical writings are more important to her than her friendships and it saddens me that this is the case. I guess it just goes to show that you can’t take stock what you read on the internet…a wolf in sheep clothing.