RE: SC House Race Pits Stepmom Vs. Stepdaughter
Dear Editor,
Candidate Questions for Wood vs. Wood political debate.
Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A: A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can’t chuck wood.
Q: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Q: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
A: A woodchuck should chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood, so long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.
(Have your kids recite this 3X.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNSKXyk5OyU
Jim Kappler
Anderson, SC
16 comments
Hmmm, wish I had invented “Cut & Paste” – I would be $RICH$..!!
Hey Shifty, If we email our best jokes to FITS, maybe we’ll get our own column, eh?
A weekly column, sort of like “Crossfire”… Will can give us a subject and we can take opposite sides or points of view. Sort of like the TV program, or one of those Shakespeare Festivals where someone is on a stage (I don’t remember the circumstances that get them up there) and the only way to get off the stage is to please the crowd with jokes or stories. When the crowd doesn’t like something there are barrels of little pickles they can throw. Good fun — but messy!
“When the crowd doesn’t like something there are barrels of little pickles they can throw. Good fun — but messy!”
So that’s what they were really there for? All this time, I was stuffing them in the front of my pants, hoping to impress chicks. :-(
How sad for you — they use the small ones about 3 inches long.
Very sad, buy hey, they did make it look like I had more than I started out with.
Neddie Noodle nipped his neighbor’s nutmegs.
Did Neddie Noodle nip his neighbor’s nutmegs?
If Neddie Noodle nipped his neighbor’s nutmegs,
Where are the neighbor’s nutmegs Neddie Noodle nipped?
How many figs could a fig plucker pluck if a fig plucker could pluck figs?
If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot be taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot hoot and toot at the Hottentot tutor?
TBG, let’s run this one by euwe max — he’s got all the statistics…
A guy with five penises walks into a doctor’s office. Curious, the doctor asks him how his pants fit. “Like a glove,” he answered.
SUMBEECH!!!!
You’re supposed to put them in the front?
That explains a lot…
Adam was naming all of the animals when he came to the elephant. The elephant looked down at Adam and asked, “How do you breathe through that thing?”
Years ago TBG took his girlfriend and her 5-6 year old son to Riverbanks Zoo.
Seeing the elephant exhibit the tot asked his mommy;
What is that?
“An elephant “, she replied.
Stomping his feet and rolling his eyes he whined, “I KNOW that. What is that long thing?”
“Why, that’s the elephant’s trunk…”
“NO, MOMMY ….behind it?”
“That’s his tail.”
“NO MOMMY….UNDERNEATH!!!!!”
Mommy blushed and mumbled, “Oh…that. That’s nothing.”
TBG whispered in her ear,
“Dayum, I’ve got you spoiled.”
Is there a point to this?
And you don’t think this SC House District 37 GOP Primary edition of Family Feud won’t get any sillier?