“MANNERS BANDIT” AT LARGE IN THE PALMETTO STATE …
Think outside the bun … then go outside to burp. Oh, and say “excuse me” when you’re done.
That’s what you’ll do at Taco Bells in South Carolina if you know what’s good for you …
Don’t believe us?
According to a Tega Cay, S.C. police report (published by The Smoking Gun), 20-year-old Isaiah Morris was hit with a chair, grabbed by the throat and nearly head-butted by an unidentified white male inside a Taco Bell after failing to say “excuse me” following a belch (a.k.a. eructation).
For reals …
According to witness Cara Martin – a teenage Taco Bell employee – the unidentified “Manners Bandit” drove off in a white pickup truck after the assault. Police closed the case, though, upon learning store surveillance cameras failed to capture the incident – and witnesses failed to capture the bandit’s license plate.
Here’s the police file …
Wow …
Emily Post has a posse, people … in South Carolina, of all places.
And remember …
18 comments
It’s polite to give a tip-o-the-hat.
It seems to be the do-gooder was just trying to help the young man with his manners since his parents obviously failed to instruct him properly.
It’s not like Isiah didn’t deserve it, after the man asked if he burped, Isiah proceeded to ask him over and over again “what he asked”…so I suppose the young man was either hard of hearing or trying to be a tough guy with no manners. I’ll go with the latter myself…in which case the lesson was well deserved.
Personally I get no pleasure in burping in public
However I do like to let one go ever now again and watch the reaction of nearby patrons
Since it was a Taco Bell, Isaiah apparently breached protocol by belching instead of farting. Had he farted instead, this likely would not have become an issue.
Excuse me from the bottom of my heart, if it had come out the other end it would have been a fart.
Tis better to urp a burp and die of shame than to squelch a belch and start a fart.
I go into the bathroom to fart and burp.
However, I piss in the closest corner.
— did you mean “closet corner”..?
In 1929 and 1934 Alekhine played the Russian Bogolyubov for the world champion beating him easily.
However in 1935, the Dutchman, Euwe challenged him. Alekhine, who had a liking for alcohol was frequently drunk during his games with Euwe and consequently lost his title. However in a rematch, after giving up alcohol, he defeated Euwe by 10 wins to 4 with 11 draws making him the first man to ever regain the world championship.
Alekhine was a heavy drinker. He once appeared at an event so inebriated that he began to urinate on the floor. During his 1935 match with Euwe, he was found before a game lying drunk in a field.
.”In one case he (Alekhine) appeared at an exhibition so drunk that he began to urinate on the floor, and the exhibition had to be stopped.”
Thanks. After reading the “news” I needed a good laugh. Back to work.
This almost happened to me at a company picnic as I was talking to my boss and his wife came up and he introduced her. The combination of too many deviled eggs and the macaroni and cheese took its toll on my innards and I couldn’t help but let a thunderous fart as he was introducing us. The boss became somewhat indignant and asked, “How dare you break wind before my wife?”
I told him that I didn’t know it was her turn.
Looking for a job on Monday morning following the picnic was an experience.
C’mon, man. You’ve never heard of “ladies first?”
Yeah, sometimes my manners take a leave of absence.
CIC,
That one was Shiftyworthy™.
Since this is Wednesday Night Confession I’ll share a story from the St. Patrick’s Day about eight (?) years ago. The lovely, vibrant girl who guzzled beer faster than I could buy them asked me to walk her back to her room. We only made it as far as a grassy area, dark and quiet. Well, the magic happened and afterwards she said, “WOW! What the hell, man, I’ve never experienced that before!” My reply to her was, “Yeah, isn’t this taser great?”
Hmmm… sounds pretty similar to an Austin Powers hot tub scene. Pardon me for being rude, it was not me, it was my food; it just popped up to say hello, but now it’s gone back down below.
Once TBG was on the A crowded MARTA train in the ATL and some SE Asian food had reeked havoc on his lower GI system. Fortunately the music was incredibly loud, so TBG figured he’d just let ‘er rip, with no one being the wiser. After TBG initiated what may have been a Guinness world record episode of flatulence…he decided it would be fun to “time” it with the music.
TBG got that feeling of being stared at ….and looked up…and sure enough, EVERYONE was looking at him with loathing and disgust.
Then TBG remembered that he was….
…..
……
……
……..
listening to his IPOD!
I am an avid fan of the pssssssaaaaawwww burp. It’s barely audible… akin to the squeak women make when they try to suppress a sneeze.. you can be excused for at least trying to reduce the decibel level….
the only problem with it is it sends a jet stream of taco-coke poison tear gas several feet, sometimes ending a cheap date with a cute blonde too early.