Last year we brought our readers a report on South Carolina’s less-than-impressive national standing when it came to clumsiness with iPhones (fourth-clumsiest) and iPads (first-clumsiest).
Prepare to chalk up another measure of Palmetto State brilliance …
According to data collected by State Farm from 2005-2012, South Carolina ranked second in the nation in per capita Thanksgiving Day fires. Only Alaska (you betcha!) outpaced the Palmetto State.
News of South Carolina’s turkey cooking problems was first reported by Hanna Raskin, food critic for The (Charleston, S.C.) Post and Courier.
Wanna not kill yourself this Thanksgiving? Courtesy of Butterball, here’s a list of helpful hints for deep frying a turkey …
Of course those hints do require the cook to be literate, which is always a hit-or-miss proposition in South Carolina. Hmmmmm …
41 comments
Do NOT follow this instruction to heat oil to 400. WAY too hot. I’ve fried turkeys for years. As soon as oil heats 375, lower turkey. Oil will drop in temperature. Keep temp at 360 and cook 4 mins per pound. At 400, the risk of burning oil is too great.
Wouldn’t that depend on the cooking used? Cottonseed Oil smokes at 420 degrees. Refined Peanut Oil at 450 degrees.
Personally, I like the high temps. It lowers the “greasiness.”
What oil do you use?
Damn, I smoke at 4:20 as well.
Ha! My motto has always been: “It’s 5:00 somewhere.”
I use peanut oil. My experience is if you keep the oil above 375, it may not ignite, but it will burn. Frying at a consistent 360-365 will give crisp outside to bird while not ruining oil.
Personally, I wouldn’t “fry” a turkey.
So dropping a frozen one n 400 degree oil is completely out of the question, huh?
Go For It. You can do it. I have great confidence in your ability to increase the understanding of physics for our young and for the country as a whole.
Norma,
You don’t really want to spend your Saturday night sharing a local hospital’s burn unit with a plethora of Sakerlina defensive backs, do you?
SC has trouble with a lot of things. With our education rated at 49 out of 51 it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why.
This is SC. It’s rocket surgeon.
I LOVE sturgeon!
I’ve lived in several states and can tell you that prior to living in SC I’d never heard of frying a turkey for thanksgiving, so the statistics might be a little misleading.
A fire is a fire, friend. If the stat was on fires solely attendant to deep frying large birds over an open flame, I’d be willing to bet that we would have beaten Alaska and the next five states combined…
You talking about Cool Springs or Aynor?
You obviously know what I’m talking about!
Deep-fried turkey is delicious,and the only way to go,IMO.It’s been around for awhile,now.It’s popular ,everywhere:http://www.mamayanceys.com/deep-fried-turkey/
There’s a guy down the street who fries my turkey.All I have to do is get my ham-bone boiled:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yya2l4j77RA
Quoting the idiot Post and Courier reporter: “…By contrast, one out of every 295,250 South Carolinians had a bad run-in with a deep-fryer or kitchen grease”. Based on the quote – there’s not much of a “turkey fryer” story here Will, particularly when you consider that no South Carolina meal is complete without something fried in lard on the stove.
Then you look at the real numbers: based on the report, maybe 17 homes will have either a fryer fire or a stove fire – I’d call that survival of the fittest and move on. By the way, rumor has it that photo was taken in your carport last year.
Colonel, Will is is attempting to get credit with Howie Rich for “government-run” education in SC in hopes that Howie’s voucher scam will sell. That is the reason for the plethora of articles alleging that ALL South Carolina natives are dumb, illiterate, etc.
Concur, that’s why I felt obligated to point out the BS.
And proving my analysis, this just in from Fox:
“…For the last seven years, Texas has led the country in most grease- and cooking-related insurance claims on Thanksgiving Day, with 38 according to insurance company State Farm. Illinois follows, with 27 reports and Pennsylvania and Ohio are tied for third with 23. New York ranked fourth, with 22 claims and South Carolina and Georgia claimed fifth with 16 claims each…” http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2013/11/27/this-state-has-most-deep-fried-turkey-accidents/?intcmp=features
Stupid ignorant yankee…
Mmmmmmmmmmm. Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied Turrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkey! Mmmmmmmmmmm.
Jesus says do not fry a turkey indoors, I concur. The article will lead to a half dozen fires just by implying that it’s OK.
More tips
Place your cooker on a surface without combustable material underneath
Lower bird slooooooowly into oil at 375 degrees
Don’t let Fido hang around the fryer
Save the alchohol consumption for after the meal
Thaw your turkey until no ice or frozen shit remains
Drain that bird of all ice and water, plus remove all extras shoved up inside that sob. (I like hanging mine of my basketball goal)
Don’t put your hands in the oil for a taste (this is SC)
Inject some creole seasonsining.
Fry some potatoes before and afterwards to clean oil, and because they are so fucking good.
Filter used oil through something so you can do it agin at Christmas.
Use the internets if you have questions.
Frying potatoes before and after is a damn good idea. Thank you.
I must point out that the consumption of alcohol DURING the meal is prefered. I recommend a chilled Chardonay.
Remove the plastic pop-up thermometer from the breast and the plastic leg holder together thingie in the the turkey’s ass. Also, often the giblet bag is rolled up in the fat at the neck end of the turkey. TBG experimented with many different injections and finally settled on straight Tabasco sauce. (Not as hot as you would think), but has found that (opposite of what you would think) injected turkeys end up drier than non injected turkeys.
Frying potatoes is an excellent idea. Never had heard it before, thanks.
You can reuse your cooker and your oil Saturday night to fry chickens, three at a time (some turkey racks come with 3 verticle rods that can be wingnutted on the base). Only takes about 25 minutes. TBG injects the chickens with beer.
Happy Thanksgiving to All!
Go Tigers!
Got a fried turkey today from Piggie Park. Well worth the drive through Winter Storm Boreas. Includes a bottle of Maurice’s BBQ sauce too. Have a non eventful holiday, see you next week…that is if I am not indicted, killed by a drunk driver, told to shelter in place by Obama, or my bank accounts are frozen in a “bank holiday” bail-in.
Since I am here, these are 6 reasons why USC will beat Clemson:
1) Connor Shaw
2) Dylan Thompson
3) JD
4) Mike Davis
5) Shon Carson
6) Coach Spurrior
Well maybe Will’s obsession with “government-run” education in SC has a point. “Spurrior”?
Typical response by one of many anal retentive Karl Smirxist advocates that annoy us at FITS News.
“us at FITS News” You work at FITS News? If not, who is “us”?
http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2573/4112522353_6dfff606cd.jpg
DAMN! — that is SICK..!!!
Snacks. Yum
TBG’s new desktop background.
3) JD
Is this the week that JD finally shows up with kerosene soaked rags tied around his ankles so that ants don’t crawl up his legs and bite his candy ass?
LOL! That you, Dale?
That you, Dale?
No. But TBG should have properly attributed it.
Hard to believe Dale’s been up in your neck of the woods for almost 13 years.
“Always THE MAN.
Always a fan.”
Famously Hot (and after an hour or two, homeless)
SC, you so stupid. Thanks for providing so many laughs and head slapping moments to the rest of the country. Without a high teen birth rate and transplants from out of state that would be one ghost town of a place.
I’d place the several gallons of boiling oil needed to fry a turkey in the same category as a chain saw, which is to say both are best left to the hands of a professional.
Two for all of my friends – share and enjoy Thanksgiving Day…..
1).. Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi…!!
2).. The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.”
“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”