Wire: Balloons, Bad Reporters, Etc.

Well, we lack a good political reporter here cos Jim Davenport died.

Terrorists will hit mega-malls and most likely Disney before they find their way to small-town USA, i.e. Simpsonville. They appear to focus on large symbols of freedom and thank God for that since our resources to thwart their efforts can be focused on those events. That said once they figure out the way to really shake our core sense of security is by hitting Mayberry, USA our way of life will change on a grand scale. For now, this is a small town using a national tragedy to boost concession sales by eliminating the means to “tote ones own water” to an all day event. SHAMEFUL.

Terrorists will hit mega-malls and most likely Disney before they find their way to small-town USA, i.e. Simpsonville. They appear to focus on large symbols of freedom and thank God for that since our resources to thwart their efforts can be focused on those events. That said once they figure out the way to really shake our core sense of security is by hitting Mayberry, USA our way of life will change on a grand scale. For now, this is a small town using a national tragedy to boost concession sales by eliminating the means to “tote ones own water” to an all day event. SHAMEFUL.

God forbid the terrorists hijack a hot air balloon, who knows what damage they could do then! Do they do TSA pat downs too?

By the way, my biggest complaint with the current revamp is that the mobile layout sucks. Commenting is especially atrocious as when there’s a lot of comments, Disqus pretty much chops off half of the comments because they go over the side of the phone and you can’t scroll sideways to fix it.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

In response to recent events, Governess Haley has established emergency security procedures for the following upcoming public events which have been designated high-risk. A specially trained protection force (photo attached) will patrol to ensure that no disruption from outside sources, which could cause either wide-spread panic or disruption of our
American way of life, will occur. If you are asked to submit to a pat-down, please comply quietly.
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GULLAH FESTIVAL
FLOPEYE FISH FESTIVAL
HAMPTON COUNTY WATERMELON FESTIVAL
COWPENS MIGHTY MOO FESTIVAL
FELINE FREEDOM ADULT CAT WEEKENDS
ENCHANTED CHALICE RENAISSANCE FAIRE
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Steve Largent and Tim Smith are both good political reporters. Unfortunately, they are both behind paywalls and I rarely read them anymore.