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Florida Fart Leads To Stabbing

A 37-year-old Florida woman was arrested on aggravated battery with a deadly weapon charges after hurling an eight-inch kitchen blade at her boyfriend. WTF happened? And why is this any more or less interesting than any random act of American violence? Well, the assailant Deborah Ann Burns of Immokalee, Florida told…

fart.jpg

A 37-year-old Florida woman was arrested on aggravated battery with a deadly weapon charges after hurling an eight-inch kitchen blade at her boyfriend.

WTF happened? And why is this any more or less interesting than any random act of American violence?

Well, the assailant Deborah Ann Burns of Immokalee, Florida told authorities she became angry when her boyfriend, Willie, “walked by her and farted in her face.” Also, according to the police report (obtained by The Smoking Gun), Burns “confronted him about the fart and Willie became agitated, telling her to shut up.”

What a gentleman …

Anyway, Burns served nearly two years behind bars for an aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer several years ago, so our guess is she’s about to pay a return visit to some less-than-hospitable taxpayer-funded accommodations.

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27 comments

27e0310f8a8fdb28714de047ec52f726?s=100&d=mm&r=r
lance riprock May 10, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Did she hit her target? Article just says she hurled the blade at him. Maybe she just wanted to shake him up a bit after he so callously disrespected her. I’d have cut him long and deep.

Reply
073c45f8810af739317a809b702598d5?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Shitfor Brains May 10, 2013 at 3:07 pm

just how odorous was the fartation in question? Isn’t that the real issue here?

Reply
9ab8da91e13ca7c711ff9af48ab81722?s=100&d=mm&r=r
shifty henry May 10, 2013 at 4:44 pm

It couldn’t have been any worse than…………..

Reply
073c45f8810af739317a809b702598d5?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Shitfor Brains May 10, 2013 at 3:07 pm

just how odorous was the fartation in question? Isn’t that the real issue here?

Reply
9ab8da91e13ca7c711ff9af48ab81722?s=100&d=mm&r=r
shifty henry May 10, 2013 at 4:44 pm

It couldn’t have been any worse than…………..

Reply
a7276ae75996448e087c734fcbd15a24?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Honkey White Bread May 10, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Holmes needs to date an Asian women if he wants someone to enjoy his farts.

Reply
a7276ae75996448e087c734fcbd15a24?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Honkey White Bread May 10, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Holmes needs to date an Asian women if he wants someone to enjoy his farts.

Reply
9334eea3e9d34f568e16026f8c38d760?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Smirks May 10, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Must’ve been a wet fart.

Reply
92b62110d2375263b9dd9c0f6d2d29d6?s=100&d=mm&r=r
A Friend May 10, 2013 at 4:15 pm

Stay thirsty, my friend.

Or maybe not.

Reply
35c515fc7d6ceed3d057fe1fcc79adc3?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Shit Shocked May 12, 2013 at 11:12 am

…and thus, BigT was born…

Reply
9334eea3e9d34f568e16026f8c38d760?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Smirks May 10, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Must’ve been a wet fart.

Reply
92b62110d2375263b9dd9c0f6d2d29d6?s=100&d=mm&r=r
A Friend May 10, 2013 at 4:15 pm

Stay thirsty, my friend.

Or maybe not.

Reply
35c515fc7d6ceed3d057fe1fcc79adc3?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Shit Shocked May 12, 2013 at 11:12 am

…and thus, BigT was born…

Reply
d0d464308fb7a7aef54134e8dbd1f5e2?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Soft Sigh from Hell May 10, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Immokalee, Florida’s Red Bank.

Reply
d0d464308fb7a7aef54134e8dbd1f5e2?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Soft Sigh from Hell May 10, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Immokalee, Florida’s Red Bank.

Reply
d0d464308fb7a7aef54134e8dbd1f5e2?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Soft Sigh from Hell May 10, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Did she over-react? Was it perhaps just a “fart in her general direction”?

Reply
37058ae726dd9326277640a11490409a?s=100&d=mm&r=r
? May 10, 2013 at 3:28 pm

Nice Monty Python reference, sometimes I feel like doing the same to other commenters-and we sure as hell know they want to do the same back…lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA

Reply
d0d464308fb7a7aef54134e8dbd1f5e2?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Soft Sigh from Hell May 10, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Did she over-react? Was it perhaps just a “fart in her general direction”?

Reply
37058ae726dd9326277640a11490409a?s=100&d=mm&r=r
? May 10, 2013 at 3:28 pm

Nice Monty Python reference, sometimes I feel like doing the same to other commenters-and we sure as hell know they want to do the same back…lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA

Reply
256f41a9998f191bd76723d3eaad332c?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Barrister of Blivits May 10, 2013 at 3:25 pm

I think we have the insanity defense here. Noxious methane gas deprived her brain of oxygen leading to an altered sensorium.

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256f41a9998f191bd76723d3eaad332c?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Barrister of Blivits May 10, 2013 at 3:25 pm

I think we have the insanity defense here. Noxious methane gas deprived her brain of oxygen leading to an altered sensorium.

Reply
283d62dd003c233960fc2154d3c78195?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Edward Teach May 10, 2013 at 9:49 pm

This reminds me of a story I read about some years ago. A low level State bureaucrat was charged with slapping around his wench.

Reply
283d62dd003c233960fc2154d3c78195?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Edward Teach May 10, 2013 at 9:49 pm

This reminds me of a story I read about some years ago. A low level State bureaucrat was charged with slapping around his wench.

Reply
a9feaf3702a8d6b0081e6232bea229d1?s=100&d=mm&r=r
9" May 10, 2013 at 10:36 pm

If a guy farts in your face,that’s sexy,and an immediate invite to rim his ass.Bitch.

Reply
a9feaf3702a8d6b0081e6232bea229d1?s=100&d=mm&r=r
9" May 10, 2013 at 10:36 pm

If a guy farts in your face,that’s sexy,and an immediate invite to rim his ass.Bitch.

Reply
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Martha Guzman May 16, 2013 at 7:02 am

Why is this newsworthy??????

Reply
b3e77febaa2bd0fa10d18c25937dcd88?s=100&d=mm&r=r
Mguzman May 16, 2013 at 7:02 am

Why is this newsworthy??????

Reply

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