SC

Nikki Haley Was Insulted, Wants Donations

Earlier this week we called out former S.C. Democratic Party Chairman Dick Harpootlian for a poorly wagered comment he made about sending “Republican” Gov. Nikki Haley “back where she came from.” (Read our story popping Harpootlian here). Never one to let an indignity go to waste, Haley pounced on the…

Earlier this week we called out former S.C. Democratic Party Chairman Dick Harpootlian for a poorly wagered comment he made about sending “Republican” Gov. Nikki Haley “back where she came from.”

(Read our story popping Harpootlian here).

Never one to let an indignity go to waste, Haley pounced on the comment as a means of shaking down her loyal subjects for campaign contributions.

“Democrats have wasted no time,” Haley’s fundraising appeal begins. “They’re already attacking our conservative values and the work we’re doing to give the people of our state the honest, good government they want and deserve.”

Wait … “conservative values?” She’s sure as hell not talking about fiscally conservative values.

And Nikki Haley is “giving us the government we want and deserve?” Seriously?

Holy hell … if this is the government we want and deserve, we would sure as hell hate to see the government we don’t want and don’t deserve.

“Friends, I know where I came from,” Haley’s speel continues. “I’m from a South Carolina town that, like yours, values family, faith and hard work. I’m a proud South Carolinian and I’m not going anywhere. But I need your help in fighting back against the liberal attacks that began Friday.”

(Cue cue … ka-CHING).

Haley’s suggested donation? Thirty-five dollars …

“With your help, we will continue to make South Carolina – a wonderful place to do business and raise a family – proud,” Haley concluded.

Wait a minute … Haley’s Texas and Georgia donors haven’t hooked her up with enough campaign cash already? You know … in exchange for more of that “conservative government that we want and deserve.”

***

Pic: Travis Bell Photography

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102 comments

Creeper May 8, 2013 at 4:43 pm

$35 dollars sounds about right to be serviced properly. Is she collecting the donations over at Two Notch?

My understanding is that her version of “conservatism” basically means we aren’t allowed to cum inside.

If I donate more is it possible to get her to change her mind?

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:52 pm

Two Notch, no, but if FITS speaks the truth, then maybe strip clubs, or in an SUV in an empty parking lot.

Reply
Simon & Schuster Publishing Co May 9, 2013 at 5:29 pm

Maybe the divorce hearings of what’s-his-name’s wife — the guy she screwed in Las Vegas — will tell us if she swallows. Anybody here remember the two pages of the book FITS said he’d publish about his SUV-sex with Nikki? We’re still interested, but maybe Mrs. FITS objects to that.

Reply
Marie Harrison May 8, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Bamberg doesn’t want her back, neither does Lexington.

Reply
Sarge May 8, 2013 at 5:15 pm

You think New Jersey wants Harpo back?

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Vinny May 8, 2013 at 5:16 pm

Harpo couldn’t make it here.

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Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:53 pm

With Chris Christie’s lap band surgery, we might finally be able to squeeze him back in.

Reply
Trashed in Lex May 9, 2013 at 6:26 am

You are right! We do NOT want her back here we have enough trash with Myers, Metts, Halfacre, Frazier, Peeler, James, Owens and all of the trashy women they hang out with!

Reply
surfer, the web, that is May 9, 2013 at 12:29 pm

Like Hazel?

Reply
nitrat May 8, 2013 at 4:50 pm

I’VE never seen a birth certificate and don’t know where the hell she’s from.

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Who really even knows if she is a natural born citizen?

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Marie Harrison May 8, 2013 at 4:55 pm

A silk purse cannot a sow’s ear make. She has no shame. Sorry Dick, don’t believe they’re welcome back in Bamberg.

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jimlewisowb May 8, 2013 at 4:57 pm

I liked the line in the email that read “Liberals across the nation are still upset that we won’t go along with President Obama’s government-knows-best policies”

I reckon from the Gypsy Queen’s point of view taking money from POTUS/Washington is her way of saying, No, Don’t, Stop/ No, Don’t Stop/ No, Don’t,Stop

Kinda like what she used to scream in willie’s ears as she bit them, NoDon’tStop, NoDon’tStop, NoDon’tStop

Well, it sounds funnier than it looks

Reply
jimlewisowb May 8, 2013 at 4:57 pm

I liked the line in the email that read “Liberals across the nation are still upset that we won’t go along with President Obama’s government-knows-best policies”

I reckon from the Gypsy Queen’s point of view taking money from POTUS/Washington is her way of saying, No, Don’t, Stop/ No, Don’t, Stop/ No, Don’t,Stop

Kinda like what she used to scream in willie’s ears as she bit them, NoDon’tStop, NoDon’tStop, NoDon’tStop

Well, it sounds funnier than it looks

Reply
Bubbas Brother May 8, 2013 at 5:02 pm

Didn’t Ol’Pootie Poot get shown the door last week? The worst thing you can do is keep drawing attention to that second rate attorney and dried up political hack.

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 9:00 pm

Well, he gives Todd “dead Trayvon Martin jokes” Kincannon similar attention. Pretty bad either way.

Reply
The Colonel (R) May 8, 2013 at 5:02 pm

Didn’t Ol’Pootie Poot get shown the door last week? The worst thing you can do is keep drawing attention to that second rate attorney and dried up political hack.

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 9:00 pm

Well, he gives Todd “dead Trayvon Martin jokes” Kincannon similar attention. Pretty bad either way.

Reply
Sarge May 8, 2013 at 5:15 pm

You think New Jersey wants Harpo back?

Reply
Vinny May 8, 2013 at 5:16 pm

Harpo couldn’t make it here.

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:53 pm

With Chris Christie’s lap band surgery, we might finally be able to squeeze him back in.

Reply
friar tuck May 8, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Uglier every day.

Reply
friar tuck May 8, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Uglier every day.

Reply
2big2fall May 8, 2013 at 6:16 pm

So many possibilities…

Reply
shifty henry May 8, 2013 at 6:56 pm

(chuckle) – maybe if I put some coffee on……

Reply
2big2fall May 9, 2013 at 10:31 am

subtle, I like it…

Reply
Bubbas Brother May 8, 2013 at 11:33 pm

Name three things that smell like Wills middle finger:

1. A “Dirty” Sock Puppet
2. Day old fish
3. Nikki…

Reply
? May 9, 2013 at 7:16 am

lol….good job Carnac

Reply
2big2fall May 9, 2013 at 8:00 am

The winner (to date): Bubba’s Brother

Reply
You Asked May 8, 2013 at 11:50 pm

“Sock Puppet”, “Sikh”, and “Self-consumed wannabe” (in reverse order….right to left).

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 8:23 am

What did Nikki suggest for a caption?

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2big2fall May 9, 2013 at 10:24 am

We have not been on speaking terms since, prior to her election, I uploaded a video on YouTube titled: “Nikki Haley Goes All Out For the Goober Vote.”
This video was inspired by an ad for the guv’s race which featured her standing on the back of a flatbed truck loaded with corn. Below is a still I grabbed from that ad. Note the old John Deere tractor in the barn. Crap in a handbag! The only thing missing was a burning cross and the slack-jawed banjo kid from Deliverance.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 10:51 am

Good one – but it would have been nicer if she were wearing a Daisy Dukes outfit (too spicy for this site) — and, my goodness, how slim she looks here…..

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 12:42 pm

She has really packed on the pounds since taking office. Must be all those tax-payer funded meals.She’s got to be at least a size 14/16 by now.

2big2fall May 8, 2013 at 6:16 pm

So many possibilities…

Reply
shifty henry May 8, 2013 at 6:56 pm

(chuckle) – maybe if I put some coffee on……

Reply
2big2fall May 9, 2013 at 10:31 am

subtle, I like it…

Reply
The Colonel (R) May 8, 2013 at 11:33 pm

Name three things that smell like Wills middle finger:

1. A “Dirty” Sock Puppet
2. Day old fish
3. Nikki…

Reply
? May 9, 2013 at 7:16 am

lol….good job Carnac

Reply
2big2fall May 9, 2013 at 8:00 am

The winner (to date): Bubba’s Brother

Reply
You Asked May 8, 2013 at 11:50 pm

“Sock Puppet”, “Sikh”, and “Self-consumed wannabe” (in reverse order….right to left).

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 8:23 am

What did Nikki suggest for a caption?

Reply
2big2fall May 9, 2013 at 10:24 am

We have not been on speaking terms since, prior to her election, I uploaded a video on YouTube titled: “Nikki Haley Goes All Out For the Goober Vote.”
This video was inspired by an ad for the guv’s race which featured her standing on the back of a flatbed truck loaded with corn. Below is a still I grabbed from that ad. Note the old John Deere tractor in the barn. Crap in a handbag! The only thing missing was a burning cross and the slack-jawed banjo kid from Deliverance.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 10:51 am

Good one – but it would have been nicer if she were wearing a Daisy Dukes outfit (too spicy for this site) — and, my goodness, how slim she looks here…..

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 12:42 pm

She has really packed on the pounds since taking office. Must be all those tax-payer funded meals.She’s got to be at least a size 14/16 by now.

Wes May 8, 2013 at 6:21 pm

she makes me glad I’m gay

Reply
Wes May 8, 2013 at 6:21 pm

she makes me glad I’m gay

Reply
tomstickler May 8, 2013 at 6:38 pm

She’s half-right. This is what SC deserves for being so adamant about pushing the R button.

Reply
A Friend May 9, 2013 at 8:01 pm

Straight ticket voting – tailor made for idiots.

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Bill Clinton May 8, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Hey Nikki, how about taking care of your state employees, many of whom qualify for SNAP!

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:58 pm

She gave her staff raises.

Oh, you mean the rest of the state employees? Sorry!

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 10:07 am

Don’t the taxpayers pay for the 1st family’s groceries.? If so, aren’t they on a form of SNAP?

Reply
tomstickler May 8, 2013 at 6:38 pm

She’s half-right. This is what SC deserves for being so adamant about pushing the R button.

Reply
A Friend May 9, 2013 at 8:01 pm

Straight ticket voting – tailor made for idiots.

Reply
Bill Clinton May 8, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Hey Nikki, how about taking care of your state employees, many of whom qualify for SNAP!

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:58 pm

She gave her staff raises.

Oh, you mean the rest of the state employees? Sorry!

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 10:07 am

Don’t the taxpayers pay for the 1st family’s groceries.? If so, aren’t they on a form of SNAP?

Reply
Buz Martin May 8, 2013 at 7:23 pm

Pootie Poot is a total asshole, and what he said was an insult for sure, but fuck it, you know? He’s out, it’s a new day. Sic’s right, it’s another Nikki shake-down.

Reply
Boz Martin May 8, 2013 at 7:23 pm

Pootie Poot is a total asshole, and what he said was an insult for sure, but fuck it, you know? He’s out, it’s a new day. Sic’s right, it’s another Nikki shake-down.

Reply
Penelope Forrester May 8, 2013 at 8:20 pm

I would say the S.C. voters who punched that button for Queen Nimrata are getting EXACTLY what they deserve.
The rest of us? Not so much.

Reply
MountainPenelope May 8, 2013 at 8:20 pm

I would say the S.C. voters who punched that button for Queen Nimrata are getting EXACTLY what they deserve.
The rest of us? Not so much.

Reply
katlaurenscounty May 8, 2013 at 8:41 pm

Honest government? Is she secretly working for some other state?

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 9:02 pm

Governor Deal has no clue what you’re talking about.

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nitrat May 9, 2013 at 8:58 am

What a wonderful name for a politician.

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disqus_mx3RlrbbQG May 9, 2013 at 10:56 pm

You mean Governor Shady Deal?

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Torch May 8, 2013 at 10:32 pm

No. She is out in the open on her work for Ga.

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katlaurenscounty May 8, 2013 at 8:41 pm

Honest government? Is she secretly working for some other state?

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 9:02 pm

Governor Deal has no clue what you’re talking about.

Reply
nitrat May 9, 2013 at 8:58 am

What a wonderful name for a politician.

Reply
disqus_mx3RlrbbQG May 9, 2013 at 10:56 pm

You mean Governor Shady Deal?

Reply
Torch May 8, 2013 at 10:32 pm

No. She is out in the open on her work for Ga.

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:50 pm

I don’t know about honest and good, but good golly is SC getting the government it deserves. “Thanks,” Haley, for keeping us at the bottom.

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:50 pm

I don’t know about honest and good, but good golly is SC getting the government it deserves. “Thanks,” Haley, for keeping us at the bottom.

Reply
Smirks May 8, 2013 at 8:52 pm

Two Notch, no, but if FITS speaks the truth, then maybe strip clubs, or in an SUV in an empty parking lot.

Reply
Simon & Schuster Publishing Co May 9, 2013 at 5:29 pm

Maybe the divorce hearings of what’s-his-name’s wife — the guy she screwed in Las Vegas — will tell us if she swallows. Anybody here remember the two pages of the book FITS said he’d publish about his SUV-sex with Nikki? We’re still interested, but maybe Mrs. FITS objects to that.

Reply
Fed up Republican May 8, 2013 at 8:54 pm

I am a republican and I will be glad to be rid of this woman forever!

Reply
Fed up Republican May 8, 2013 at 8:54 pm

I am a republican and I will be glad to be rid of this woman forever!

Reply
Sure May 8, 2013 at 9:11 pm

Will $35 pay cab fare from downtown Columbia to Bamberg? If so, I’ll spring for it.

Reply
Sure May 8, 2013 at 9:11 pm

Will $35 pay cab fare from downtown Columbia to Bamberg? If so, I’ll spring for it.

Reply
9" May 8, 2013 at 11:38 pm

I Need A Man(Eurythmics)!!!

Reply
buthole buddy May 9, 2013 at 9:58 am

Behave, Lindsey.

Reply
9" May 8, 2013 at 11:38 pm

I Need A Man(Eurythmics)!!!

Reply
buthole buddy May 9, 2013 at 9:58 am

Behave, Lindsey.

Reply
Trashed in Lex May 9, 2013 at 6:26 am

You are right! We do NOT want her back here we have enough trash with Myers, Metts, Halfacre, Frazier, Peeler, James, Owens and all of the trashy women they hang out with!

Reply
surfer, the web, that is May 9, 2013 at 12:29 pm

Like Hazel?

Reply
Dinosaur May 9, 2013 at 9:14 am

I will donate if she will buy at least another suit. Hell I’ll donate one of mine. Fits please do us all a favor and use another photo of the GOV. I see that “failure of the textile industry” in my dreams. Of course the fact that I see the same fabric on chairs in every Motel 5 1/2 that I visit may have something to do with that.

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shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 10:15 am

My ex-girlfriend will donate her Monarch Butterfly Dress

Reply
T-Cuz May 9, 2013 at 12:10 pm

It would look simply lovely on Big-T…

Reply
T-Cuz May 9, 2013 at 12:12 pm

Hubba-hubba
T-Cousins

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 12:33 pm

I just got your joke on the meaning of “T-Cuz” = now I’ll have to go back to your previous posts to get the jokes! HAW x 3!

Sam May 9, 2013 at 12:31 pm

Hey, Nikki, hear they’re having a sale at Lane Bryant.

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Dinosaur May 9, 2013 at 9:14 am

I will donate if she will buy at least another suit. Hell I’ll donate one of mine. Fits please do us all a favor and use another photo of the GOV. I see that “failure of the textile industry” in my dreams. Of course the fact that I see the same fabric on chairs in every Motel 5 1/2 that I visit may have something to do with that.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 10:15 am

My ex-girlfriend will donate her Monarch Butterfly Dress

Reply
T-Cuz May 9, 2013 at 12:10 pm

It would look simply lovely on Big-T…

Reply
T-Cuz May 9, 2013 at 12:12 pm

Hubba-hubba
T-Cousins

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 12:33 pm

I just got your joke on the meaning of “T-Cuz” = now I’ll have to go back to your previous posts to get the jokes! HAW x 3!

Sam May 9, 2013 at 12:31 pm

Hey, Nikki, hear they’re having a sale at Lane Bryant.

Reply
Tank May 9, 2013 at 1:46 pm

The government we want? No.

The government we deserve? Absolutely. This is what happens when these idiots get voted into office. And we deserve every idiotic action they commit.

Reply
Tank May 9, 2013 at 1:46 pm

The government we want? No.

The government we deserve? Absolutely. This is what happens when these idiots get voted into office. And we deserve every idiotic action they commit.

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Who really even knows if she is a natural born citizen?

Reply
Manray9 May 9, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Harpootlian has done so well for Democrats in SC. How many Dems hold state-wide offices?

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Manray9 May 9, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Harpootlian has done so well for Democrats in SC. How many Dems hold state-wide offices?

Reply

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