In discussing the spate of sex-related political scandals in South Carolina, we’re often asked by national reporters if there is “something in the water” in the Palmetto State.
Other than excessive levels of fluoride, obviously …
Apparently there is.
Consider the case of 27-year-old Amanda Cantwell of Charleston County, S.C. – who was arrested on criminal domestic violence charges after she allegedly assaulted a man for failing to have sex with her.
From The Smoking Gun …
According to a Charleston Police Department report, Jeffrey Chaffin, the 33-year-old victim, told investigators that he and Cantwell had been drinking Monday evening when the trouble started.
Chaffin, who has lived with Cantwell for about 18 months, told officers that she “became extremely upset when he refused to have sexual intercourse with her.” Chaffin added that Cantwell slapped him in the head, jumped on his back, and “inserted her fingers in his mouth and clawed the inside of his cheeks with her fingernails.”
After getting Cantwell off his back, Chaffin dialed 911. Police responding to his call noted that they “were able to observe fresh scratches and blood inside the victim’s mouth.”
Wow …
And here’s a pic of the lovely lass …
The report goes on to note that Chaffin (the victim) did not request medical attention and refused “relocation offers” on the grounds he did not “fear for his safety.”
Well good for him … maybe next time he’ll spare us the law enforcement resources (and national embarrassment) by sucking it up and giving this poor girl the rogering she so clearly desires. Seriously … when one considers the pantheon of problems that can befall a red-blooded American man, having a girlfriend who constantly desires sexual intercourse strikes us as fairly low on the list.
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48 comments
Hell, I’d do her.
“inserted her fingers in his mouth and clawed the inside of his cheeks with her fingernails.”
hmmmm, yes …. I do remember her now!
She’s about 600% better looking than I thought she might be. But the bar was quite low, mind you.
Hell, I’d do her.
“inserted her fingers in his mouth and clawed the inside of his cheeks with her fingernails.”
hmmmm, yes …. I do remember her now!
She’s about 600% better looking than I thought she might be. But the bar was quite low, mind you.
Frack that shit SIC. If you or I had done the same thing we’d of gotten at least a year out of it. You know this as fact.
Frack that shit SIC. If you or I had done the same thing we’d of gotten at least a year out of it. You know this as fact.
HAHAHAH!!! Kudos FITS. This piece is too funny. It’s a masterful illustration of the contempt most of us feel for incompetent gov buffoonery. Far better than the blurbs on stuff that demands depth you don’t do. I can’t help guffawing at the recollection of the great herpes swarm and the Columbia convulsions of domestic issues this piece brings up. SC gov MUST have drunk the stupid water!!
I would like to see follow-up stories on some previous articles .Fits posts, gets the comments for hits, and then moves on. Also, I understand that it takes time and effort to produce the articles, and I don’t know how many folks he employees (other than the one investigator).
Me too Shifty! But can’t fault Will, $$$ talks, depth, followup, and accuracy, walks (away), and if readers buy it….The blurbs FITS publishes are like sound bytes in tv land. So my take, since FITS isn’t doing the job with relevant depth, focus on what they do superbly. As that other poster suggested in the Sanford dances with cardboard cutout piece, FITS could do a whole section on this stuff. BTW, ROFL at Beauregard! You have trained me to where the mention of your moniker in my mind sets me to giggling….Ya know, that whole voices in the head thing…
Thanks! …. When you’re in bed with your hubby, the giggling is OK but calling out my moniker ain’t.
Anyway, I was making fun of our Southern custom of naming sons … (2nd – Jr) (3rd – Tripp or Trey) (4th and 5th — I don’t know). I wanted to use the name that is similar to Beaujolais of an ancestor who was a cavalry officer for the Confederacy but I didn’t have time to locate it.
HAHAHAH!!! Kudos FITS. This piece is too funny. It’s a masterful illustration of the contempt most of us feel for incompetent gov buffoonery. Far better than the blurbs on stuff that demands depth you don’t do. I can’t help guffawing at the recollection of the great herpes swarm and the Columbia convulsions of domestic issues this piece brings up. SC gov MUST have drunk the stupid water!!
I would like to see follow-up stories on some previous articles .Fits posts, gets the comments for hits, and then moves on. Also, I understand that it takes time and effort to produce the articles, and I don’t know how many folks he employees (other than the one investigator). Unfortunately I am nursing a few bruises from a stunt pulled recently. As a joke I shot the bird to a guy with a camera because I thought he was Fits’ investigator taking a photo of me ……NOPE! He was taking a photo of his fiancée and her mother.
Me too Shifty! But can’t fault Will, $$$ talks, depth, followup, and accuracy, walks (away), and if readers buy it….The blurbs FITS publishes are like sound bytes in tv land. So my take, since FITS isn’t doing the job with relevant depth, focus on what they do superbly. As that other poster suggested in the Sanford dances with cardboard cutout piece, FITS could do a whole section on this stuff. BTW, ROFL at Beauregard! You have trained me to where the mention of your moniker in my mind sets me to giggling….Ya know, that whole voices in the head thing…
Thanks! …. When you’re in bed with your hubby, the giggling is OK but calling out my moniker ain’t.
I was Navy and I think you mentioned your hubby was Marine. Tell him that we were always glad to give them a ride when they needed it.
Anyway, I was making fun of our Southern custom of naming sons … (2nd – Jr) (3rd – Tripp or Trey) (4th and 5th — I don’t know).
I wanted to use the name of an ancestor .who was a Confederate cavalry officer, that is similar to Beaujolais but I didn’t have time to locate it. It was very unique and in researching family history none of us had ever seen that name before.
Former SC State Magistrate Jack Guedalia (now a probate court judge) once said from the bench, ” … the laws in this state are for the women.” Regardless of any law and equal treatment under Title 42 Section 1981 of the United States Code, it is still daunting as to how many SC judges and cops still secretly have the mentality that Guedalia has. Over a dozen witnesses heard him say it.
Former SC State Magistrate Jack Guedalia (now a probate court judge) once said from the bench, ” … the laws in this state are for the women.” Regardless of any law and equal treatment under Title 42 Section 1981 of the United States Code, it is still daunting as to how many SC judges and cops still secretly have the mentality that Guedalia has. Over a dozen witnesses heard him say it.
He no want the herpes.
He no want the herpes.
Currently being considered in the legislature is a law making it a misdemeanor to refuse to have sex with either your girlfriend or wife. The reasoning behind this law? The more she “misses it da meaner she gets!”
Would you link to this. I am calling BS on that.
Currently being considered in the legislature is a law making it a misdemeanor to refuse to have sex with either your girlfriend or wife. The reasoning behind this law? The more she “misses it da meaner she gets!”
Would you link to this. I am calling BS on that.
Remember Lorena Bobbitt? Well, her sister was recently brought up on charges she tried to slice off her boyfriend’s penis with a knife, but her hand slipped and she only nicked it. The judge only charged her with a “miss-de-wiener.”
Remember Lorena Bobbitt? Well, her sister was recently brought up on charges she tried to slice off her boyfriend’s penis with a knife, but her hand slipped and she only nicked it. The judge only charged her with a “miss-de-wiener.”
On the binary scale, that’s a zero.
On the binary scale, that’s a zero.
Jody Aries was the same way.
This guy needs to get away from this Psycho Bitch as soon as possible.
Before, he gets gutted like a deer in hunting season.
Jody Aries was the same way.
This guy needs to get away from this Psycho Bitch as soon as possible.
Before, he gets gutted like a deer in hunting season.
FUCK ME NOW!!!!
FUCK ME NOW!!!!
I thought SC was already at the top of the crazy list with the guy in love with the horse and Sanford.
Rein em in, Neigh means Neigh
I thought SC was already at the top of the crazy list with the guy in love with the horse and Sanford.
Rein em in, Neigh means Neigh
Nine Good Reasons Straight Guys Should Explore Homosexuality
1 No Unwanted Pregnancies
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. We can have all the sex we want and never have to worry about the dreaded unwanted child down the line. Ok, sometimes you’ll have some other serious s**t to worry about in regards to sex, but screaming babies won’t be one of ’em.
When we’re finally ready for children, we’ll just adopt like those guys on “Modern Family.”
2 Even Playing Field
When you’re gay, your partner will never, ever withhold sex as a punishment or use sex as a weapon.
There is no sex as a bargaining ploy to get something else. And oral sex is also never an issue. It’s not for “special occasions” It is just a given.
According to my gay friend Eric: “gay men are easy. You won’t need to take them on a bunch of expensive dates to get some action. For gay guys, sex is like a handshake, and the “getting to know you” part comes afterwards. As it should be…
…They just like sex as much as we do and want it just as often…” and that in of itself, friends, is the king of reasons to give switching teams a try.
Batter up!
3 Get in Better Shape
Let’s face it, gay dudes are in much better shape than we are. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I had a friend who came out and had rock hard abs only six weeks later. Dudes just have really high standards and it’s really hard to please us. Just ask any girl that reads Cosmo.
The pressure of having to please dudes is WAY better than any workout system you’ll find on TV.
4 Double Your Wardrobe
When we move in with our new lover we’ll immediately have access to a whole new closet full of clothes (and according to Queer Eye it’ll all be trendy and fashionable).
So if you’ve been putting off buying a new pack of underwear, just consider what kind of money you could save by going gay and moving in with a dude you share more than just a bathroom with.
5 Make New Friends
Being gay is going to throw us into a whole new social network. The great thing about being gay right now is that the LGBT community is being persecuted by right-wingers over the marriage and military issues.
“But that’s not great at all!” – You, just now.
Wrong! Uniting against persecution has always formed the strongest bonds between people. Becoming gay will provide us with friendships that just might be the strongest we’ll ever know.
6 Have More Fun at Concerts
There’s something about being a proud gay man that strips down social barriers far more than being a repressed straight man does.
Being gay will mean we can get way more excited when our favorite band takes the stage, so much that we can belt out that scream we want to yell instead of just cheering, clapping over our heads and looking around for the nearest girl to “protect”.
This will allow us to just tune out the world, DANCE (for a change) and have way more fun than we have ever had before at our favorite concerts.
7 Be Funnier
Gay guys are naturally funnier. What might get YOU slapped will just make everyone think a gay guy’s “sassy”.
If we become gay, then we can be guaranteed an increase of at least two humor points (which would help this particular column) as well as a FIFTY percent increase in invites to cocktail parties. That’s just simple math, folks.
8 Attract More Women
This may seem counter intuitive given that we’ll now be having sex with men, but hear me out: it’s a scientific fact that women like gay guys.
Women love that whole “hard to get” attitude and what’s harder to get than a gay guy?
Oh, and there’s the whole “since we’re gay, we’ll understand women”. Not because we’ll be more like women but because we’ll actually be listening to them rather than trying to figure out how to get in their pants.
So “hard to get” plus being more understanding will equal more women if we decide to swing back. Back-up plans, my friend, is the name of this game.
9 Run Hollywood
We all know it’s hard to make it down in Hollywood because it’s difficult to find an “in”.
Well, according to this old guy I met while in the swamps of Georgia “Jews and gays run Hollywood.”
Well we might not be Jewish, but we could possibly be gay if we tried it and liked it – and that transition takes a LOT less reading. Plus, those of us who are Jewish will suddenly have TWO avenues to pursue in our pop culture domination. Think about it.
Interesting information, but I’ll stay with females between the ages of consent and collapse. I always take my penis to parties so even if I strike out my friend will always go home with me. Sometimes there is disappointment such as being invited to gatherings sponsored by the alternative groups, and when I ask about particularly stunning girls I’m interested in I’m told, “She’s with her…” Damn!
I will pray for you,sinner.
I wish you had been there to pray that those stunning girls would stop being lesbians, then I would have had a chance with them…and I mean world-class stunning beautiful!
One good reason you should seek mental help.
Re-read what you just posted.
Nine Good Reasons Straight Guys Should Explore Homosexuality
1 No Unwanted Pregnancies
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. We can have all the sex we want and never have to worry about the dreaded unwanted child down the line. Ok, sometimes you’ll have some other serious s**t to worry about in regards to sex, but screaming babies won’t be one of ’em.
When we’re finally ready for children, we’ll just adopt like those guys on “Modern Family.”
2 Even Playing Field
When you’re gay, your partner will never, ever withhold sex as a punishment or use sex as a weapon.
There is no sex as a bargaining ploy to get something else. And oral sex is also never an issue. It’s not for “special occasions” It is just a given.
According to my gay friend Eric: “gay men are easy. You won’t need to take them on a bunch of expensive dates to get some action. For gay guys, sex is like a handshake, and the “getting to know you” part comes afterwards. As it should be…
…They just like sex as much as we do and want it just as often…” and that in of itself, friends, is the king of reasons to give switching teams a try.
Batter up!
3 Get in Better Shape
Let’s face it, gay dudes are in much better shape than we are. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I had a friend who came out and had rock hard abs only six weeks later. Dudes just have really high standards and it’s really hard to please us. Just ask any girl that reads Cosmo.
The pressure of having to please dudes is WAY better than any workout system you’ll find on TV.
4 Double Your Wardrobe
When we move in with our new lover we’ll immediately have access to a whole new closet full of clothes (and according to Queer Eye it’ll all be trendy and fashionable).
So if you’ve been putting off buying a new pack of underwear, just consider what kind of money you could save by going gay and moving in with a dude you share more than just a bathroom with.
5 Make New Friends
Being gay is going to throw us into a whole new social network. The great thing about being gay right now is that the LGBT community is being persecuted by right-wingers over the marriage and military issues.
“But that’s not great at all!” – You, just now.
Wrong! Uniting against persecution has always formed the strongest bonds between people. Becoming gay will provide us with friendships that just might be the strongest we’ll ever know.
6 Have More Fun at Concerts
There’s something about being a proud gay man that strips down social barriers far more than being a repressed straight man does.
Being gay will mean we can get way more excited when our favorite band takes the stage, so much that we can belt out that scream we want to yell instead of just cheering, clapping over our heads and looking around for the nearest girl to “protect”.
This will allow us to just tune out the world, DANCE (for a change) and have way more fun than we have ever had before at our favorite concerts.
7 Be Funnier
Gay guys are naturally funnier. What might get YOU slapped will just make everyone think a gay guy’s “sassy”.
If we become gay, then we can be guaranteed an increase of at least two humor points (which would help this particular column) as well as a FIFTY percent increase in invites to cocktail parties. That’s just simple math, folks.
8 Attract More Women
This may seem counter intuitive given that we’ll now be having sex with men, but hear me out: it’s a scientific fact that women like gay guys.
Women love that whole “hard to get” attitude and what’s harder to get than a gay guy?
Oh, and there’s the whole “since we’re gay, we’ll understand women”. Not because we’ll be more like women but because we’ll actually be listening to them rather than trying to figure out how to get in their pants.
So “hard to get” plus being more understanding will equal more women if we decide to swing back. Back-up plans, my friend, is the name of this game.
9 Run Hollywood
We all know it’s hard to make it down in Hollywood because it’s difficult to find an “in”.
Well, according to this old guy I met while in the swamps of Georgia “Jews and gays run Hollywood.”
Well we might not be Jewish, but we could possibly be gay if we tried it and liked it – and that transition takes a LOT less reading. Plus, those of us who are Jewish will suddenly have TWO avenues to pursue in our pop culture domination. Think about it.
Interesting information, but I’ll stay with females between the ages of consent and collapse. I always take my penis to parties so even if I strike out my friend will always go home with me. Sometimes there is disappointment such as being invited to gatherings sponsored by the alternative groups, and when I ask about particularly stunning girls I’m interested in I’m told, “She’s with her…” Damn!
I will pray for you,sinner.
I wish you had been there to pray that those stunning girls would stop being lesbians, then I would have had a chance with them…and I mean world-class stunning beautiful!
One good reason you should seek mental help.
Re-read what you just posted.
She is an absolute “bombshell”………….so to speak. I have done worse though. Woke up and …..arrrggg!……..Alcohol was always involved.
She is an absolute “bombshell”………….so to speak. I have done worse though. Woke up and …..arrrggg!……..Alcohol was always involved.