Pop

Megan Fox Speaks In Tongues?

ACTRESS FLUENT IN “THE LANGUAGE THAT’S SPOKEN IN HEAVEN” Other than acknowledging her uber-hotness, we’ve never known whether Megan Fox was “all there …” We knew she had to be a little bit nuts for dating that 90210 guy, but until recently we had no idea just how bat shit…

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ACTRESS FLUENT IN “THE LANGUAGE THAT’S SPOKEN IN HEAVEN”

Other than acknowledging her uber-hotness, we’ve never known whether Megan Fox was “all there …”

We knew she had to be a little bit nuts for dating that 90210 guy, but until recently we had no idea just how bat shit crazy this 26-year-old Oak Ridge, Tennessee native really was. The latest evidence? A new Esquire interview with the Transformers star.

After bitching and moaning about being a celebrity (which Fox equates to “being bullied by millions of people constantly”) and describing her husband Brian Austin Green as nothing but paparazzi protection, Fox delves into the details of her pentecostal faith.

“I have seen magical, crazy things happen. I’ve seen people be healed,” Fox told the magazine. “Even now, in the church I go to, during Praise and Worship I could feel that I was maybe getting ready to speak in tongues, and I’d have to shut it off because I don’t know what that church would do if I started screaming out in tongues in the back. It feels like a lot of energy coming through the top of your head — I’m going to sound like such a lunatic — and then your whole body is filled with this electric current. And you just start speaking, but you’re not thinking because you have no idea what you’re saying. Words are coming out of your mouth, and you can’t control it. The idea is that it’s a language that only God understands. It’s the language that’s spoken in heaven.”

Oh wow …

Fox also offers her interpretation of the Book of Revelation, which she says she has read “a million times.”

“When war breaks out in the Holy Land, like it is right now, if that is a sign of the immediate end times, then where are the other signs?” Fox muses. “Is it possible that it’s the Internet or fame itself or celebrity?”

Yeah …

Megan Fox, everybody … a genius from the neck down.

***

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***

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29 comments

James the Foot Soldier January 15, 2013 at 2:39 pm

For God’s sake, eat a fukin cheeseburger.

Reply
philip January 15, 2013 at 2:50 pm

hmmm. So she has a loose tongue? nice.

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Frank Pytel January 15, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Oak Ridge, Tennessee

Explains everything. Too much radiation.

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Colascguy January 15, 2013 at 3:57 pm

Radiation or inbreeding?

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jitty January 15, 2013 at 9:53 pm

I get my STD treated there.

Reply
Frank Pytel January 16, 2013 at 5:00 am

Oak Ridge, Tennessee, then known only as the Clinton Engineering Works, was conspicuously absent from any map. On 60,000 acres of farmland framed by the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, it was one of the United States’ three secret cities—remote sites chosen by Manhattan Project director

Reply
Luke January 15, 2013 at 3:21 pm

So if people believe what the Bible says now, they’re batsh*t crazy?

Good for you, Megan, for standing up for what you believe in…no matter what that is.

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Ohmaar January 15, 2013 at 3:43 pm

If she can’t control it, it’s not a heavenly language. Only demonic possession results in uncontrollable fits.

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shifty henry January 15, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Sic – what have we done to you to deserve this? P-U-L-E-E-E-Z-E!

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Jethro January 15, 2013 at 5:02 pm

Gross my mule. Throw that woman some food.

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lcCock January 15, 2013 at 5:14 pm

Why did she write all over herself? It’s like farting in church.

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jimlewis,owb January 15, 2013 at 5:34 pm

When you start talking about people’s beliefs you are stretching the latex. Since clicking on this site awhile back I have come across posters who believe that:

Senator Leatherpecker is a living cadaver,

Nikki Haley is a Vestal Virgin,

Senator Tom Davis will do something other than talk,

Fred Sanford is Mark Sanford’s daddy,

Lexington Ring is a local remake of Lord of the Rings,

Randy Halfwit is really less than half an acre,

Danny Frazier only squealed after Jimmy Metts sat down and broke his neck,

Chip Limehouse and Will Folks are identical twins separated at birth,

Yep, in this State it is hard to believe what voters will and will not believe.

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shifty henry January 15, 2013 at 6:54 pm

….. it hurts to laugh!

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Dos Equis January 15, 2013 at 10:00 pm

I saw Chip Limehouse with a baseball cap on backwards, wearing a 2XX Manning jersey and he looked just like ole Sic.

They say Sic eats three baskets of chips and salsa every weekend at a local Mexican restaurant — and don’t leave a tip! His wife got pretty toe cleavage, though :-)

Reply
The Colonel January 17, 2013 at 3:29 pm

“The Lexington Ring”

starring
Slick Willie Folks as Billybeaux the Odbit

Lindsay Graham as Gandalf the Gay

Glenda McConnell as Glenda the Good Witch

and featuring

Jakie Knotts as Bombur the immense Dwarf

Reply
shifty henry January 15, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Ok, Sic, now that you’ve had your fun with your loyal followers, how about some more leg/stiletto shots of your gorgeous lady (lucky you!)

Reply
Sailor January 15, 2013 at 8:26 pm

You’re right Shifty! Mrs. Sic would beat this one all to hell.

Ms. Fox isn’t very foxy! I’d bet insect would give her a 60-65.

Reply
Zobro January 16, 2013 at 9:50 pm

He said “Fred Sanford is Mark Sanford’s daddy”.

Oh, Little baby Jesus!

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@WH_Buz_Martin January 16, 2013 at 11:22 pm

The kinda hot punkish Jewish chick in the movie “Saved”, speaking in tongues at a mandatory religious assembly program:

“MMMYYPPUSSSYISSSSOOOHOOOTTTA-AH!”

Reply
@WH_Buz_Martin January 17, 2013 at 9:53 am

This woman used to be really hot. Now she’s got that freakish skeletal look so popular with … um … God knows who. Too bad.

ty

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Call me Fishmeal January 17, 2013 at 11:21 am

Tatted up tramp!

Reply
J.D. Biersdorfer January 17, 2013 at 2:18 pm

Someone shoot me.

Reply
smegmaphile January 17, 2013 at 6:20 pm

shit fo tits gimme mack mcquade better breasts and makes home calls

look on her faze sez;why nobody wanna fuck me anymore.don’t you love the smell of chlamydia in the morning

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@WH_Buz_Martin January 18, 2013 at 2:12 pm

Oh for shit’s sake, Sic!

NEXT!

Reply
scsince60 January 18, 2013 at 5:31 pm

Average skank at best. Tatoos confirm lower caste.

Reply
Brick January 18, 2013 at 7:17 pm Reply
Flounder January 18, 2013 at 10:42 pm

Auschwitz, Birkenau, Treblinka?

Reply
tab hunter January 19, 2013 at 4:31 am

how cum buz gotta make it religios,mr holocaust sex torturer
worst thing is going to church and the minister starts eating yo ass out in tongues thas good for the ass being eaten,butt bad fo them congregation ,Watching -unless they start gettin’ into it ,too,then it turn into a nasty smelling ,cum-spurtin’,shit-dripping,holy fucking orgy:that stank ass butt/cock/cuntbleeding,/// for real is quite excellent,though // i must say

ps-cant yall find better pussy pictures on yo own???

alta vista works good asshit

Reply
junior justice January 22, 2013 at 10:06 am

TRANSLATION:

It is pilly-po-doddle and aligobung when the lollypop covers the ground,

Yet the poldiddle perishes plunkety-plung when the heart jimny-coggles around,

If the soul cannot snoop at the gigglesome cart seeking surcease in gluggety-glug.

It is useless to say to the pulsating heart,
“Yankee-doodle and ker-chuggety-chug!”

Reply

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