BALLOON RIDE, ANYONE?
Remember Heidi Montag? Neither do we … in fact it’s been nearly two years since we’ve written about her (and the massive floatation devices implanted in her chest).
Montag, 26, is famous for her role on The Hills – one of those completely vapid rich bitch dramas that replaced Whitesnake videos on MTV. She’s also known for her relationship with Spencer Pratt, who is famous for standing next to her large implants and pretending to be straight.
Everybody clear?
Good …
Originally an A cup, Montag is now a triple-D – and in addition to multiple breast augmentations she’s also had numerous other plastic surgeries. In fact she once had ten procedures in a single day.
Was it worth it?
Take a look …
(Click to enlarge)
Pics: Splash News
22 comments
Unbelievable. There was once more air and silicon in her head.
Another freak. You’re killing us, Will.
And when I say freak, I don’t mean in a good way.
I’d still motorboat those!
Vaguely pretty.
Dyed hair.
Flat stomach – good.
False boobs. 15 points.
Bottom is excessively large, shows dimples/lines/ripples. 5 points.
Thighs excessively large. 5 points.
75. C
Subtract 5 more because you can see her ribs, too, please. You were way more generous than I would have been.
for once I agree with Insect
Normally, I think your grades are too harsh. This time, I think they are too generous.
Needs some volumizer in her hair. That is one stringy wisp of nothing blowing around her head. Looks like she woulds be out of breath if she ran to the car in a rain storm. Spongey in more ways than one.
At least she’s safe a the beach with those personal “flotation devices”!
That’s almost as bad as those guys in porn with Elephantiasis or Diphallia,but not quite..
Long enough, Will. Take it down.
someone please stop taking pictures of this bitch. remember the lard lad people. if you ignore them, they’ll die.
I’d hit it.
Yes, you’d hit anything female — animals, fish, reptiles, pipe fittings, electrical outlets, HVAC ductwork, irrigation systems, auto parts…
No, not anything. I’d not hit that Taylor Swift cherry last week. I would not hit any Kardashian. I definitely would not hit Nikki Haley, not even with Fits’ cigar.
But this girl is so insecure, you could mind-fuck her. You could tell her that she is not all that hot, and in bed you could tell her that she is just not nearly as good as the average girl. She would be so motivated to make herself good that she’d be your slave.
She is so insecure, she’d let you do anything to her. She’d stand on her head in the corner and let you jack her. She’d let you eat pizza, while she services you. She’d let you bring in another woman and then she’d let you go A to M on her. You could donkey punch or dirty sanchez on her. You could do a Clevaland Steamer on her. You could t-bag her, you could tie her up.
All because of her insecurities, and you could exploit that all day long.
I would not hit any Kardashian. I definitely would not hit Nikki Haley, not even with Fits’ cigar.
..
That’s curious. Why not? You find her unattractive?
Not sure I need to respond to Nikki Haley–more of a skank that just about anyone Fits has every posted here. She is just awful and I bet her moonpie stinks.
As for the Kardashians . . . I never travel a road that has already been traveled by a hip hop star.
One more thing . . . I have a weakness for blondes with big titties (fake or real) and tight butts. That goes a long way in my book. Flat stomach and some ribs showing is OK with me.
I suppose you’d fuck a truck tire. Most moonpies do stink. Hip hop star? You don’t make any sense, man.
She forgot the spray tan
Please take this down before the weekend. If needs be, a photograph of an apple, a flower, a turkey, or an pickup truck would be appreciated.